A life of crime does not pay.
Especially when you're a dumb criminal.
(laughter)
Alright, take this genius who attempted
to steal a bike locked in front of a police station.
The suspect approaches the bike with bolt cutters
in front of the Gladstone Police Department in Oregon.
This is a brazen move, and as you can see,
one that does not end very well.
(laughter)
Truth Team, what say you?
Ohhh.
What were you thinking?
Was this bike thief high or drunk?
I don't know.
Because look how crazy, the police sign
is so big and huge, you can't even miss it.
Look how patiently the police walks up to him
and the guy's gonna I guess try to run.
Oh my goodness.
Wow.
I mean you all did see how big police was like right,
I mean it was huge.
There's a desperation that comes in front of people
on drugs and alcohol where they don't even care
or they don't see it and it's like, I gotta get money
for my next high and this is the easiest thing.
Or he may need transportation someplace.
(laughing)
Maybe it's a job.
You know what, bike crimes are huge.
I have had my bike stolen so many times you guys.
Awww.
It sucks.
And I finally realized I had to buy a different kinda lock,
you have to put the lock around the frame, not the tire.
If you put it around the wheel, boom,
they just take your bike, it's easy.
They'll leave your wheel.
Lesson learned for you.
Lesson learned after four bikes stolen.
Okay, well let's move on to a man in New Jersey
who was caught faking a fall at work.
Check this out.
The man is seen throwing ice on the floor.
He pauses, then bends over,
and plops himself down near the ice.
He stayed put until someone found him
and filed an insurance claim.
The lesson here is,
you are being videotaped everywhere.
Everywhere!
Everywhere, there is no such thing
as an expectation of privacy on your job in the break room.
So don't try this on your job, you will be caught.
That's fraud.
Insurance frauds are a big deal you guys.
I mean a lot people--
Well we end up paying
for 'em with increased premiums.
Absolutely and you know there's a lot of people
who do take a lot of time though to plan their frauds.
This guy, I feel like he just woke up
and he's like, maybe this is the day, and he's like.
I love that he stayed on the floor waiting patiently
until a co-worker came by and found him.
(laughing)
I got a true story with a brother who was kind of young
at the time and he was driving and he took my,
dropped my mom off at a local store.
And all of the sudden there's screaming and a lady
is laying in the back of the car, saying that he hit her.
And it was slippery, she fell, and that he rolled over her.
And thank god there was a witness that said,
no lady, you fell and he did not hit you.
That happens, I won't say a lot, but we see those cases
where people will dart out in front of you
and drop in front of your car and like,
oh my god my leg, my back, my arm.
So you have to be careful because people sometimes are,
you know, try to scam you.
Okay, we'll give these last criminals points
for creativity but deductions for execution.
Take a look at this attempt to steal
an ATM machine in Pasadena, Texas.
The criminals back their truck through a courthouse
where they attempted to attach straps
to the ATM and drive away.
But only a piece breaks off.
(laughing)
Whoops, uh oh, oh wow.
There are so many crimes committed in this video.
Oh my goodness.
I've gotta ask you this.
If someone came into your court when you were a judge
and they attempted that crime and you saw that video,
what would you do?
You are no good at crime,
that's what I would tell 'em first of all.
(laughing)
And you better find another occupation.
(audience clapping)
Not your line of work.
Mary what was the dumbest criminal you've ever sentenced?
It happened to me personally.
It was someone that, two people broke into my home
and they stole my jewelry and they stole my checkbook.
And the idiots, the female who was with,
there was a man and a woman, the female went to my bank,
which was one mile away, where everybody knows me
'cause it's a small community, and tried to cash my check.
Hello!
And pass themselves off as you?
Yes, yes, you're not the judge.
The craziest crimes that I would sentence would be people
are working in Targets, wherever, Walmart,
and they're embezzling right from the cash register.
It's like, hello, look up, these are cameras around you.
Everywhere, there are cameras people.
Do not do these things.
That's the lesson to be learned.
Criminals just think they're gonna outsmart the system
and you're not, you're going to get caught.
You're going to get caught.