hey guys it's Theodore from practical psychology and in this video Fraser from
get psyched and I are going to go over some very important points if you're
either ready to date someone or are already dating someone these points will
be focused mainly on the topic of optimism and dating including a section
of overcoming rejection at the end of this video so get rid of your excuses
and here we go number one the most important thing I want to say is to
respect yourself it's very easy to beat yourself up when you've been on a streak
of being let down but like I'll explain in the overcoming rejection section of
this video it's important to stay optimistic in your ventures otherwise
your sadness or loss of faith in this area of life can leak over into your
financial happiness and even health areas remember that nobody is perfect
but one thing you should always do is love yourself it's important to respect
yourself and set boundaries on what you'll allow in your life and what you
will not okay one great reason to stay optimistic in dating is a fact that
there's never been a better time to be on the dating scene largely due to the
massive amount of online and not based opportunities for dating at the moment
no this world of numerous resources can be overwhelming the best thing to do
here is to try them all out and find when it affects you best that you feel
that you get the most from when we're thinking about being optimistic in
dating it's vital that we have a means of seeking out dating that we think both
user-friendly and effective some prefer using tinder others use match.com and
some do based on the bar scene for example okay my second step is the
importance of knowing your type is okay and actually is vital to know your type
and turn this helps eliminate going on dates with people that maybe don't share
the same interests as you or people that you don't really relate well to
therefore you help yourself by only going on dates with people that you're
interested in and keen to know more about and turn you become more
optimistic about your dating experiences and encouraged to go on more dates if
you go on a bunch of dates with people that you don't feel comfortable with and
haven't pre-qualified to your standards you're gonna struggle to stay optimistic
my next step is to switch up constantly go into the same corner bar or coffee
shop for each day becomes boring and likely to impact negatively on your
dating experience when I was dating for example I will always made a point of
going somewhere I had never been before the sale because I added another element
of excitement to the day going somewhere different that neither
of you have been before helps a great deal to add conversation and enjoyment
to the day my advice here is to be different with your location I've been
on days to tiny independent coffee shops tea restaurants and even an avocado bar
so give it a bash the point here is to switch it up when you go on your day and
to think outside the box as bonus I actually have a list of over 150
date ideas in my new psychology of Attraction course you can check it out
in the link in the description for more information
the next tip is to remind yourself of why you are dating this is another
section I think that can help with the optimism and dating reminding yourself
that you are out looking for someone that you can develop a more special
relationship with is key in turn you become more aware of the potential of
dating and that one day you really are going to find someone to connect with
one thing that comes to mind is that in the book smarter better faster by
Charles Duhigg the author talks about how the US Marine Corps motivated
Marines during their very very difficult training they found one little hack that
kept pushing these Marines to do crazy things they wouldn't have done before
and that thing was just to remember why they wanted to become a Marine some guys
wanted to be the first marine in their family bringing honor to their name some
guys had a family at home and they wanted to grow the skills to protect
their family and the income to provide other guys simply came from nothing and
wanted to prove to the world that they could be something the Marines were told
to ask each other why when they started feeling like giving up and this helped
immensely I think you can do the same in dating whether it's to build your
bulletproof rejection skills to increase your communication likability or to find
the love of your life to settle down with keep this Y in mind I know goes so
much further than any guy just wanting to score a couple dates because he's
bored okay my final tip is if things aren't going to plan or as expected then
take a break if things aren't working or things seem confusing or uncertain then
taking a break from dating can recharge batteries and can get you excited and
optimistic again for when you start back on the dating scene I was taking your
break from dating investing into your own well-being this will do wonders for
your own self-esteem and your optimistic outlook on dating when you start dating
again psychologists have conducted numerous
studies on her developing and maintaining effective coping strategies
can improve optimistic outlooks these studies are primarily focused on two
forms of coping strategies so the first being problem-focused coping where an
individual attempts to find the main cause of the problem and tackle it
head-on the second form of coping strategy is emotion focus coping this is
where an individual finds ways of reducing the emotional challenges after
a setback by establishing new or strengthening old friendship bonds and
other emotional support networks so my advice here is when taking a break after
some difficulties in the dating scene best advice possible is to focus your
energy on emotion-focused coping strategies make the effort to me of
regularly with old friends connect with new friendship groups attend
community events are start training with a local sports team nourishing your
emotional needs is a brilliant way to take care of yourself during a break
from dating you realize just how effective it as an improving your
optimistic outlook when you start back to my last tip guys is how to overcome
rejection on the dating scene you will definitely find rejection I mean even if
you talk to Tim girls what is the possibility of all ten of them saying
yes to you the secret here is to use the law of averages the law of averages says
that no matter how many girls you talk to there is a ratio that will always be
present it might be five and ten or two and ten and it might even be really low
like five and 100 but you have to develop really thick skin in business
and in dating I mean you have to get told no like 100 times before your
approach and pickup game starts to improve in fact once you talk to about a
hundred girls in the course of a month you'll come to the realization that some
of these girls have boyfriends some of them are really busy and have no time
some of them are rude and you don't need to date them anyways and some of them
just aren't interested in you you'll learn not to take it personal and this
is a big key if you ask a girl out and she says no most people will blame
themselves they'll say I just wasn't hot enough I didn't say the right words she
doesn't think I'm that funny but the best pickup artists and just optimistic
people overall blame it on the environment now it's very important to
take responsibility for certain things in your life but when it comes to
rejection you haven't out instead blame it on she
was busy or maybe she had a husband or she was so rude that I don't even want
to go on a date with her anymore take the blame off of yourself and you'll
overcome that rejection much easier the key here is that if you ask enough girls
out or guys if your girl watching this eventually you will find someone I
highly doubt it'll take even ten people honestly along the way you'll develop
yourself to remember that you're dating success is heavily influenced by a
perspective of your goals if you want a great foundation for dating as I
mentioned earlier I recently released a video course where I go deep into the
psychological aspects of attraction and a successful relationship you can check
it out in the link in the description for over half off also if you enjoyed
this content a huge shout out and thank you to Frazier from get psyched he
helped with the research and script of this video and he's going to be
uploading a ton of informational videos on psychology and I highly recommend
checking out his channel if you're interested in learning more I really
hope you guys enjoyed this video and learn something thanks so much for
watching