When I work with couples, an issue that arises very often is that of the female partner
losing her sex drive and her interest in sex.
This is obviously not the case of every single couple but it comes up often enough
to wonder what's really behind it and whether women actually like sex.
Hello everyone, my name is Helena Nista and I'm a sex therapist and a Tantra practitioner.
I make videos about great sex, legendary pleasure, about Tantra and passionate relationships.
So if you would like to learn more about these topics, please make sure to subscribe to my channel
and also hit that Bell icon to be notified whenever I post.
Ok, let's talk about women and sex!
I guess the topic of female sexual desire and her sex drive
is very close to my heart because in many of my past relationships I was the one
who was struggling to keep up with my partner's libido.
It seemed that he frequently wanted sex and that not a lot of things would reduce
his desire for a regular intercourse. For me, however, things were much more tricky.
For a variety of reasons, I would struggle to desire sex or to feel aroused in the act.
And since arousal and lubrication are very important components of a satisfying intercourse,
I would often experience pain or discomfort during sex,
which was then making it more tricky for me to desire it.
And so it was a bit of a vicious cycle in this way.
So do women actually like sex?
Or do they prefer to forget all about it?
The short answer is - yes, women do like sex.
More than that - women have a deep capacity to love sex
and to enjoy incredibly mind-blowing orgasms.
Some say that even much stronger than male orgasms.
In fact, woman's body is deeply sensual and her erotic potential is rich, multi-layered and blissful.
But there's a number of factors that need to be taken into account here.
In any romantic relationship, a sexual connection is very strongly linked to the emotional connection.
And so it's very hard to want to have sex if at the same time you're thinking:
"He wants to have sex with me after what he did??"
Accumulating resentment is something that happens in all relationships.
And if we don't take care of these emotional issues, they're only going to get deeper.
This is why taking care of your emotional connection first is an absolute must
to nurture and cultivate a healthy and passionate intimacy in the bedroom.
This means talking about any emotional hurt or disconnect.
It means actively taking care of each other's needs in order to create that
sense that you are there for each other no matter what.
When that kind of emotional connection is nourished and maintained,
it will be much easier for her to feel sexual desire for you.
Most modern women grew up with some kind of unhealthy conditioning around sex.
Many women still believe that there is something inherently wrong about
wanting, desiring or enjoying sex.
There is still that unhealthy disconnect between
a woman being a mother / wife and a sexual goddess.
While the truth is women can be both at the same time.
She doesn't need to repress her lust and her eroticism
in order to play well her role in the family.
But women need to recognize that first in order to overcome this conditioning.
About 1 in 5 women has experienced sexual abuse at some point in her life.
And almost all women know someone closely
who is a victim of a sexual assault.
Sexual wounding and trauma (whether physical, emotional, spiritual or mental)
can leave a powerful mark on the victim for many, many years
which will keep interfering with her sexual expression.
Sexual trauma can be treated but in most cases it will require support of a qualified therapist.
So it's crucial to understand the impact of her past on her current libido and sex drive.
A lot of women don't actually understand their bodies and needs
when it comes to their sexuality.
Many women have watched porn and try to have sex like men
but this is a problem because men and women are different
when it comes to their sexual response.
On top of that, these women typically don't know what to ask for in bed
and so they get poor quality sex.
And so when their male partners don't understand how to truly satisfy a woman
and they try to concentrate on their own needs or on how they as men want to have sex
that just creates a very unfulfilling experience for the woman.
What's connected with that is that many of these women don't masturbate consciously
or don't masturbate at all.
And hence they don't really understand their own erogenous zones
or how to activate them.
While women who regularly touch and explore their bodies,
women who take the time to self-pleasure and to activate their eroticism,
and women who can give themselves full-body, expanded, blissful orgasms
this kind of women can have much more fulfilling sex with their male partners.
Because these women know what to ask for, they know what they need in bed
and so they can create sexual experiences that are much more satisfying and nurturing for them.
Please let me know in comments below
whether you resonate with this topic and what your experiences have been
when it comes to female sex drive,
whether you're a man or a woman. I'm very curious to hear if you've ever
struggled with sexual desire and what you did about it.
If you enjoyed this video, please give it a "thumbs-up"!
Thank you so much for watching
and I look forward to seeing you in my next video!