Do you guys remember Hillary Clinton?
-AUDIENCE MEMBERS: Yeah! -Yes? Yes? Yes?
The overqualified presidential candidate,
and part-time IT consultant,
who was meant to smash through the glass ceiling,
yes, and then, it turned out the glass was bulletproof.
Remember that? Yes?
Well, today, that very same Hillary Clinton
finally came out of the woods for an interview
with Christiane Amanpour at a conference in New York.
And you could tell that Hillary's been spending time
deep in that forest because she clearly found some shade.
You've just spoken eloquently about the sexism, misogyny,
and inequity around the world,
but do you believe it exists here, still,
-and do you think...? -(laughter)
-Hmm. -Do you think...? -(laughter)
Because, you know, health care is complicated, and...
(laughter)
And, remember, I did win more than three million votes
-than my opponent. -(cheers and applause)
So, it's like... well... really?
He should worry less about the election
and my winning the popular vote than doing some other things...
-(laughter) -...that would be important for the country.
-Hey! -(laughter)
Hey!
Damn! Hillary was in form today.
Yeah, she did so much dissing,
all of the memes just joined her on stage.
-They were like... -(laughter)
I will say, this is classic Hillary, though.
She goes away for six months, plans all of her comebacks,
then goes on Christiane Amanpour, and let's just...
just let 'em fly, you know? You know?
"Well, guess what, Trump? The jerk store called."
(laughter)
I will say this.
After 100 days of President Trump...
it was pretty refreshing to hear a politician
talk in full sentences...
(laughter, whooping, applause)
...about...
about complicated issues.
Now, the North Koreans are
not just, uh, Kim Jong-un, but his father, uh, before him--
were always interested in trying to get Americans
to come to negotiate to elevate their, uh, status
and their position.
And we should be very careful about giving that away.
You should not offer that
in the absence of a broader strategic framework
to try to get China, Japan, Russia, South Korea
to put the kind of pressure on the regime
that will finally bring them to the negotiating table
with some kind of realistic prospect for change.
Wow.
-(laughter) -I mean...
no tremendouses.
(laughter)
No hand gestures, huh?
Not one description of chocolate cake, no?
I didn't realize how much I'd missed hearing sentences
with a beginning, middle... and end.
-(audience whooping) -I didn't even realize it.
(applause)
Like, you can really tell
when Hillary's speaking,
she knows who Frederick Douglass is.
(laughter)
And now...
just-just for comparison,
let's take a look at the current president...
who CBS's, uh, John Dickerson recently asked about the saying
that since the Oval Office has no corners,
there's nowhere to hide.
And clearly the president did not understand
that that was a metaphor.
George W. Bush said the reason the Oval Office is round
is there are no corners you can hide in.
Well, there's truth to that. There is truth to that.
There are certainly no corners, and you look,
there's a certain openness, but there's nobody out there.
You know, there is an openness, but I've never seen anybody
out there, actually, as you can imagine.
But what he meant was,
-it all comes back to you. -Sure, sure, sure. It does.
(laughter)
(shouting, applause)
(sighs)
(laughter)
Can I say, that journalist is very professional.
(laughter)
'Cause you realize in that moment...
he's saying metaphorically,
and Donald Trump is like, "You're right,
-"there's no corners. -(laughter)
"Nowhere to hide.
"There could be someone out there, you never know.
We should put some corners in. We should do it."
So now, basically, we can add metaphors to the list of things
President Trump has very little knowledge of.
As exciting as it was to see Hillary back in the mix,
it didn't take long to be reminded
why she didn't connect, though, with so many American voters.
We have to make investments
in, uh, even more, uh...
comprehensive job training
and education to provide the skills
that are going to be necessary.
And we have to invest in certain sectors of the economy
where we think we can stay ahead of the...
Hey, Hillary? Ben Carson called.
(laughter)
(like Carson): He wants his...
uh, cadence back.
The fact is,
we've all been inundated by cable news' fake excitement
and sound-bitingness for so long,
that I don't think Hillary Clinton or a candidate like her
could ever connect with people.
Because say what you want about Donald Trump,
but he doesn't bore you, you know?
Listening to Hillary talk after getting used to Trump,
is like getting an iPhone after owning a Samsung.
You know the iPhone won't explode,
but you miss the unpredictability.
You know what the whole of today felt like?
Today felt like America saw the one that got away, you know?
And people were like, "Damn.
"Maybe I didn't give her enough credit.
You know, we could have really had something.”
But the sad thing is, you can't reminisce for too long,
because the one you chose is calling you right now going,
(mimics Trump): "Get home, honey.
We're gonna build a wall."