- This article says that I should process my emotions
in the wake of a rejection.
Okay, let's try it.
(suspenseful music)
Okay, clearly whoever wrote this article,
is a sadistic psychopath.
So could I interest you in any of our services?
- [Manly voice] No, take me off your list,
never call me call me ever again.
- Okay, I'll try you again in two weeks.
Hey, can I pet your dog?
- [Woman] Sure, he loves people.
- Come here boy, who wants a belly rub?
oh, he's like, trying to get away from me.
- [Woman] Wow, that's weird,
he never acts like this.
Usually he loves everybody.
- I am a monster!
If you're not getting rejected
it means you're not hustling enough,
and getting out of your comfort zone.
My quota is to get rejected at least 10 times a week.
This week's almost over and I haven't met my number yet,
so if you'll excuse me, I gotta go and get rejected,
two more times by 5:00 PM.
My quirky comedy screenplay that I've been slaving
over for the past three years was rejected
by 15 Hollywood agents, who all said it was
the worst thing they ever read.
J.K. Rowling on the other hand
was only rejected by 12 publishers.
I think that's a good indication
of how awesome my screenplay is.
Hey guys, you all are invited to my place
for food and drinks tonight at seven, and send.
No one has replied to my group text yet.
I guess they've all got their phones off,
nobody's here and I still haven't heard anything
from anybody today.
Wait a second!
Was I,
was this,
I've been socially shunned!
Or their phones are all still dead.
I'm trying to learn from this painful rejection
and what I've learned is,
never open yourself up to anybody, ever.
I just keep reminding myself the rejection isn't personal.
It's not a reflection of me as a human being
and maybe eventually I'll believe that.
But most likely I won't.
- [Lover] I'm sorry but,
I don't think this is working between us.
- Oh, well, I'm sorry to see you unsubscribed
from our dating arrangement,
as a valued person who I used to date,
I'd like to conduct a brief exit survey with you.
Question number one, I was always on time to our dates,
do you agree or strongly agree?
Well I just got the email telling me I didn't get the job.
Now I've got at least another couple of weeks
of couch surfing, sleeping in and having no real schedule
or obligations as I apply for another one.
This is such a bummer.
Terrible.
I keep getting blocked by women on these dating apps.
What messages are you sending them?
If I could rearrange the periodic table,
I'd put Uranium
and Iodine together.
Well, the symbol for Uranium is U
and the symbol for Iodine is I,
so U and I.
What dating app are you on,chemistsonly.com?
This joke should be apparent to anybody.
Clearly these women think you're just a weirdo.
Is chemistsonly.com a real site?
Wow!
My therapist says I have a fear of success.
I'm starting to think she's right,
given that the only emotion I feel right now
as you're rejecting me, is intense relief.
To deal with the negative emotions,
I try to distract myself,
I go out with my friends,
I take a trip somewhere,
maybe go on a shopping spree,
really treat myself.
I mean, I do those things every week anyway
but at least now I kind of have a justification for it.
Rejection actually lights up
the same neural pathways as physical pain,
as such painkillers can reduce emotional pain too.
So if we take the emotional pain I am feeling right now
and relate it to physical pain,
I probably need like an induced coma, for real,
just not be out for several years.
Would you like to go out again sometime?
You don't, that's fine.
I had a great time getting to know you.
Good luck out there.
Hey dude!
Oh my gosh, dude, you startled me.
What are you doing?
I was just rehearsing, you know,
Okay.
For my date tonight.
Blow out your candles, Laura, and scene.
So what did you think?
Do I get the part?
Thank you, but no, I think we're gonna go
in a different direction with this role.
Okay, well, best of luck to you
as you continue to be stupid and direct this crappy play
which I didn't really want to be in any way.
Thanks, is stage door this way.
Hey, thanks for watching, you know,
I've got more 16 personalities videos
than you could shake a stick at on this channel.
If you want to watch another one, click right here
or if you want to binge the whole playlist,
I got you covered right here.
And if one of these types in the video reminded you
of a friend or something, share this video with them.
Till next time, stay cool and attractive.