Just hurl yourself off a jagged rock face into water.
-Yes. -Don’t think about it.
Do you know when your parents asked you,
“If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you, too?”
And everyone’s like, “Yeah.”
I’m the kid that said, “No.”
Is there a skill?
You're meant to clench your buttocks.
Why?
I think it’s so that a jet of water doesn’t give you an accidental enema
and rupture your intestines.
OK.
Us pair of legends are on a ridiculous journey across Europe,
using ferries, coaches, and trains to get to Naples,
and tracking our carbon footprint to see if traveling like this
will cost the planet less CO2 than just flying there directly.
We’re embarking on a ten-hour train journey out of Serbia.
The Balkan Express is an old af train,
but it's one of the world's most beautiful rides.
It’s taking us through Bosnia and Herzegovina
through to Podgorica and Montenegro.
From there, it’s another four-hour coach to Dubrovnik in Croatia.
It may sound inconvenient,
but it gives us 300 miles of incredible views
that we would have totally missed on a plane.
So, there’s no dining car on this train.
I do have something that
the farmers gave to us in that village,
which is this.
It’s a giant bottle of rakija.
OK, it’s not as good as water or food, but it’ll fill a hole.
Also, I've got a single boiled egg.
You just have a bare egg in your bag?
Yeah, I did. I was in a rush,
and I didn’t really know what to do, so I just...
Here you go. That’s our rations for the next ten hours.
Yeah, cool.
This is the breakfast of a raging Serbian alcoholic.
We should probably just start drinking quite soon, I think.
-Yeah. -We only have ten hours, so...
This time, we take one of the world’s most beautiful train rides,
go swimming in a blue cave where they shot
ride Segways to meet the pasta divas of Bari,
and go cliff diving.
Three, two, one.
Welcome to
Before the pandemic,
we made a sustainable guide to traveling Europe
and found out it’s funner without them anyway.
These views are incredible.
Let’s celebrate with some rakija.
I think we should dedicate this one to Chi from episode one.
He rebirthed us into the people we are now.
-To Chi. -To Chi.
Beautiful.
I feel not just tipsy, but drunk.
I feel drunk.
-Let’s be having you. -Let’s be having you.
-Cheers. -Cheers.
Do you want some rakija?
Cheers.
You do need to try this.
Down in one, come on.
-Go. -Cheers.
Rakija! Rakija!
Tom Hanks.
Couldn’t take this on a **** plane, could you?
Yeah, you couldn’t take two liters of rakija on a plane.
This right here is the highest railway bridge in Europe.
Europe.
After ten hours of traveling over 435 bridges
and through 254 tunnels,
our memory of the most stunning journey of our lives
has been mildly obliterated by our consumption of Serbian moonshine.
We should go for dinner so we don’t get too pissed.
We’ve woken up in Montenegro with rakija hangovers
and a four-hour coach to catch:
the last leg of our journey to Dubrovnik.
Look at that, and just try and tell me
that God does not exist.
How are you feeling right now?
I’m really just so excited to get in the water.
We’ve been traveling on a ten-hour train,
a three-hour coach,
and we’re seeing this beautiful water.
That’s Alcatraz.
But the VIP. Just for a select few.
Dubrovnik is on the coast of the Adriatic in southern Croatia.
It can be quite spenny these days
with
This is just a stop-off on our journey to Italy
but we have enough time for a dip,
i.e. get some content for the ’gram.
We found out that you can hire a small boat for €65 per person
to take you out to the Elaphite Islands,
where you can explore Dubrovnik’s famous caves.
Did you see that absolute beast of a cruise ship in the port?
Yeah.
They actually have three times the amount of carbon emissions as planes
and use 80,000 gallons of fuel per day.
And they’re dead. Why would you get a cruise?
And they’re not fun.
And apparently they’re meant to
have to reduce their emissions massively by 2020
but they’re getting around that by
instead of releasing emissions into the air,
mixing them with seawater and releasing them into the oceans,
so it’s just moving the problem into the ocean.
I mean, the best way to travel the high seas is a sailboat.
Like, Greta vibes.
Yeah, but we can’t all convince the Prince of Monaco
to sail us across the Atlantic Ocean.
Land ho!
We’ve made it. This is the Blue Cave.
I think we swim in that small opening
that you can see over there.
Just be careful of any squidgy things and creatures.
You know what? I bet there’s such squidgy things in here. And old ones.
Like, ancient ones.
After traveling for almost 24 hours by train and coach,
we’re finally able to submerge our bods into some
extremely salty blue water.
With air travel, we could have basically teleported here,
but the scenic journey across land made it all the more satisfying.
Oh, it’s warmer in here as well.
-That’s because I’m peeing. -Oh.
If sea levels continue to rise due to climate change,
this may be our only chance to experience
a natural wonder like this.
Waving goodbye to King’s Landing, we’re hopping on a seven-hour ferry
across the Adriatic to Bari in Italy.
Benvenuti!
[Welcome Benvenuti]
-This is glorious. -Gorgeous color.
-Don’t you want to dive in? -Not from this height.
-Would you not jump from this height? -No, no.
Would you?
I would 100 percent jump from this height.
Shut the hell up.
I hadn’t been to Dubrovnik before, had you?
No. Never been to Dubrovnik.
Very good first impressions.
And there’s the Old Town, which is incredible.
It’s where they filmed
It’s amazing how quickly they rebuilt it all after
the Dragons destroyed everything, don’t you think?
I know, yeah!
And brick for brick as well.
-Very impressive, I know. -It’s incredible.
Who’s your favorite
And your least favorite?
Jon Snow’s definitely the worst.
You don’t find him hot?
-He’s such a sap. -He is boring, isn’t he?
He’s literally such a sap.
Do you know nothing, Jon Snow?
We’re about halfway across the Adriatic Sea
from Dubrovnik to Bari.
We just checked the shipping forecast,
it looks like this ferry ride’s about to get pretty wavy.
After our voyage across the Adriatic,
we’re heading to Bari’s old town to meet up with Paco,
who’s going to take us on a Segway tour to meet some local ladies
known as the Pasta Divas.
This is moving on its own.
OK.
Yes, sir. Fix your feet, alright.
Yeah. You can also 360.
Beautiful.
How do you do an ollie?
My legs are a little bit shaky.
I would be so fat if I had one of these.
Let’s follow!
Does that mean follow?
Didn’t the guy who invented the Segway die
by taking a Segway off a cliff?
Yeah.
I actually think it was the guy that bought the patent.
Oh, in that case!
Have you had any accidents with them?
Oh, not yet.
No? OK, not yet. Great.
Three, two, one, go!
Paco, where are we going now?
We’re going to see the ladies making the pasta.
We call it orecchiette.
Small ears.
In every corner, in every court, the ladies making the pasta,
they use a knife to design this shape.
Buongiorno, buongiorno.
Buongiorno.
How are you making the curved shape?
First you press
and then round it.
Oh, you're going like this.
You have to pull them!
That’s how you make them.
How long have you been making orecchiette?
I was seven years old.
I have to thank my mother because she taught me everything.
Do your children know how to make orecchiette?
I have six grandchildren, four boys and two girls.
One is 21, and the other is 16.
But since they were little, they’ve known how to make them perfectly.
Have a try. Look.
OK.
But look. Have a look.
Well done.
Do you know how many Italians see this and don’t even get close?
But look at her first try here.
Italians can’t learn anything. They are donkeys!
Even famous chefs have come here, but they couldn’t do it.
She’s gorgeous.
She’s perfectly formed.
And with these claws as well.
Let’s see his ones.
Bad. Bad.
Bad.
I’m Nunzia.
Hello.
-No way! -She’s inverting them.
Yeah, she’s doing them the other way.
That’s a completely different way.
This lady’s got a whole different method.
Boom! Promoted. Come on.
Well done. Well done.
Oh, wow! Wow.
First try with the new method.
This lady, she’s pioneered the inverted method of
making orecchiette, which is more my style.
And as you can see, Bupé is now struggling.
Exactly the same.
Maybe I have some Italian ancestry. I mean, I don’t know.
Buon appetito!
Those are the orecchiette you made.
Those are the ones I made?
No, they’re not!
-That is so good. -Oh my God.
Orecchiette is what you should eat!
Now we are expert pasta makers,
we’re jumping on a 30-minute train to Polignano a Mare,
home of Italian singer Domenico Modungo of
And also, unfortunately, a famous cliff diving spot.
God help us all.
-Cliff diving? -Yeah.
Is there a skill?
You’re meant to clench your buttocks.
Why?
I think it’s so that a jet of water doesn’t give you an accidental enema
and rupture your intestines. -OK.
Hmm, this doesn’t sound like absolute science.
No, it 100 percent is.
Point the feet downwards,
keep the body as straight as possible,
and don’t think about it before you jump,
just jump.
Just hurl yourself off a jagged rock face into water.
-Yes. -Don’t think about it.
Yeah.
Do you know when your parents asked you,
“If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you, too?”
And everyone’s like, “Yeah.”
I’m the kid that said, “No.”
I just don’t want to dash my old noggin on the rocks...
and shatter into a billion pieces.
-Enough talk. -Don’t touch me like that.
-Three... -No, don’t. Stop shouting!
Two...
Can you start again and do it gentle?
Alright. OK.
-OK. Three-- -Be careful.
Wait. No. Can you just give me one second?
I need to get back in position.
Three...
Two...
-
I just remember falling for quite some time
and then hitting the water
but I think I had my eyes closed.
I made a really weird noise.
Guys, I’m bleeding to death here.
Oh my God.
The sharks are going to come and get me, bro.
Do you think that cliff diving is a metaphor for life?
So you’re falling, so it’s scary. You take that leap.
You fall is also scary but then you realize, once you do it,
that it’s not that bad?
Yeah, exactly.
But you got to try it to know it.
-Yeah. -No.
Yeah, I feel like a changed woman now.
It’s crazy.
The girl I was five minutes ago, who was she?
Who is she?
Where did she go?
And then look at this fine young thing standing in front of you.
Graceful.
You know what the main thing is?
We didn’t get dashed against the rocks.
No, we didn’t get dashed.
You saw a little crab on the way out.
Next time on
it’s part one of our season finale, where we catch a train to Naples,
eat deep-fried pizza,
and party at a refugee dancehall club.