Welcome to my show from my house.
Since the show looks different, I
thought I would show you an idea I had.
I thought the theme song in the opening titles we had,
it didn't represent the kind of show we're doing.
It's more stripped down, unplugged, if you will.
So I made an updated--
no, I wouldn't call it updated.
It's a different version.
Here's the premiere of our new opening of the show.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Oh, oh, oh.
Today's another day from home.
Tomorrow I'll be home again.
Yesterday's so far away.
Pretty sure I was home then, too.
Somebody speed up the clock.
Oh, oh, oh.
Please let this party stop.
Oh, oh, oh.
Been weeks since I've left my home.
But I'm happy I can still do my show.
The Ellen DeGeneres show is not taped in front of a live studio
audience.
Anyway, here she is now, Ellen DeGeneres.
[CLAPPING]
Here I am now.
You like that, tWitch?
That's good.
That was good.
Yes.
Funny.
Old school sort of.
We went sitcommy, old school.
Yes.
Thank you, tWitch.
Thank you, Andy.
I appreciate it.
Thank you, Mary the mop.
You know, everything is changing in this new world.
And we can't go to concerts now.
And so instead of going on tour, a lot of musicians
have been doing concerts at home.
People like Elton John, and Billie Eilish, and John Legend
have been performing.
And I've enjoyed watching them, but I
think that there's something missing
from all of these concerts, something
that only I can offer.
And that is no musical training, limited vocal range,
and a slight pitch problem.
[LAUGHING]
So without further ado, unless we have any more ado.
Andy, was that all the ado that we had to do?
That's all the ado.
Happy 4/20 to everybody.
Happy 4/20 to you.
That's a big day.
Yes.
Do you smoke the grass occasionally, Ellen?
No, I don't enjoy the grass.
No can do.
No.
No, it's not for me.
tWitch, you like the marijuana?
Andy, you ain't going to catch me on TV like that.
[LAUGHING]
All right.
Enough.
That was some ado.
See, I asked if there was any--
That was a little ado.
Happy 4/20.
--anymore ado, and you said, no, no ado.
And then there was ado.
OK.
Now, without further ado.
Are we sure we're done with the ado?
Any old do?
I'm adooed out.
OK.
All right.
As I was saying, I am going to do
my very first at-home concert.
I've collected all the instruments
that I could find around the house.
It's amazing how many instruments
if you look around your house.
OK.
I'm going to go get them.
Hold on.
I don't know why they just weren't
here in the first place.
I sat them three feet away.
I don't know.
It just gives me something to do.
I don't want to just sit down.
All right, let's see what we've got in here.
I can only hear.
I can't see.
Well, what is this instrument?
[PLAYING HARMONICA]
Oh, one more time.
Oh, my God.
[PLAYING HARMONICA]
That is a harmonica.
It is a harmonica.
So look around your house.
I bet everybody has a harmonica.
I don't know why I have one.
And if you find it-- well, unless you have children.
Then don't find it.
Bury it deep, deep, deep in the backyard
if you want to get through this quarantine.
[LAUGHING]
Don't let your childrens get--
childrens.
Don't let your childrens get your hands on your harmonica.
[LAUGHING]
I don't know who I became just now.
I'm from Louisiana.
I had an accent all of a sudden.
The harmonica is known as a mouth organ.
Andy, did you know that?
[LAUGHING]
What?
Yes, it's known as the mouth organ.
tWitch knows that.
[PLAYING HARMONICA]
What's your favorite organ, Andy?
[LAUGHING]
Um, the mouth organ.
OK.
[PLAYING HARMONICA]
People say that usually you either play harmonica
or you sing.
I am one of the few people in the world that
can play harmonica and sing at the same time.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy--
[LAUGHING]
I guess I can't.
I was wrong.
All right.
And also, here's another classic.
This instrument right here, this is called the triangle.
Nobody knows why.
It's a mystery.
Portia plays this every single night.
It goes a little something like this.
[PLAYING TRIANGLE]
Ellen, dinner time!
Ellen Lee Degeneres, you get in here right now.
Ellen!
Dinner time!
Is she from Alabama now?
Yes, she's picked up my accent.
Wow.
Yes.
All right, one more instrument because this is going so well.
[LAUGHING]
This is what's good about quarantine.
I don't care what anybody--
I don't know if anyone is watching.
Honest question.
How many viewers do you think have left?
How many people have already turned this off?
[INAUDIBLE]
Well, they can't answer if they've turned it off.
I should have said how many people are still watching.
Here's the recorder.
I haven't played since 4th grade,
but I think I can still play it.
[PLAYING RECORDER]
Man, it keeps going.
No, I'm done.
Yes, there's still some wind left.
[LAUGHING]
What happens is when there's any amount of wind from my--
that was just like riding a bike.
I hope you enjoyed my at-home concert.
Thank you everyone.
tWitch, if you have any requests,
I'll take them later in the show.
Absolutely.
I need that triangle work to come back.
Yes?
What do you play?
Do you play an instrument?
I do not.
I played snare drum in the ninth grade.
But then that's it.
I'd like to practice on my mouth organ though.
[LAUGHING]
You're welcome, Andy.
Yes, it's always fun just for Andy to laugh.
Oh, God.
It's just the combo of mouth and organ.
[LAUGHING]
Yes, I guess it is.
It's funny how you work out the jokes.
[INAUDIBLE]
Really talented.
tWitch, you're very modest, but you do play an instrument.
Tell everybody what you play.
Um, you know--
Come on.
I keep the modest thing.
Do you want me to tell them?
Yes, you can tell them, Ellen.
He never talks about it.
He doesn't.
It's so weird.
I know.
It's so weird.
And yet, at the show all the time.
Yes.
It's the harp.
And he is so good at it.
He's so good.
Yes.
I'd literally go on Sundays to church just to see him play.
Yes.
And I'm Jewish.
Yes.
He's that good.
It's really beautiful.
It really is beautiful.
You know what?
Maybe next week, you can pull that harp out and play for us.
Yes!
Yes.
I'd love that.
That's so great.
That'd be great.
Because really, enough with the modesty.
Yes.
I must have forgot my harp skills.
No, you have not forgotten.
You have not.
OK.
Anyway, I'm not going to embarrass you
any longer because I know you don't like to show off.