hi I'm Manjit Kaur Ruprai I run the narcissistic abuse trauma clinic and a
secret Facebook group that has grown rapidly you can add yourself to the
Facebook group by clicking on the link below don't forget to answer the
questions on join them you can also find more information on my deranged love
blog and on my website by clicking on the link below so do you think you are
dating narcissist? are there red flags you have ignored? today I'm going to go over
some of the red flags so that you can recognize them and be aware there are
narcissists everywhere and the more vigilant we are the better it is for us
the reality is if someone sends a bad signal down your gut that is the best
sign you will get you will know that something doesn't feel right but you
just can't put your finger on it as the relationship progresses you will know
that they are no good for you and you need to get out but you simply
just can't find a way out you will be stuck probably because you're a
codependent and an empath most victims will have a narcissistic parent so you're
always seeking approval and love the abuser will also have a narcissistic
parent so they have picked up the NARC traits from their parent there is also
research that suggests that the amygdala part of the brain that carries the seat
of emotion of empathy consciousness and remorse is shrunken compared to other
individuals this is why there is a lack of emotion when they do something wrong
to you and they won't feel bad here are some of the red flags you need to be
aware of so red flag number one love bombing you will be swept off your feet
quickly they will declare their love for you very early on sometimes within a
matter of a week or two and sometimes before they have even met you they will
say that they have been waiting for you there
whole life and how their ex wife or partner ruined their home life they will
ask you to marry them and have children very quickly and you will literally be
swept off your feet they will get the relationship to move very fast they will
even ask you to move in with them really quickly within a matter of time because
the mask begins to slip the fairy tale that you dreamt about will be quite the
opposite in fact it will be your worst nightmare red flag number 2 victim
mentality they will always be the victim and never take the blame or
responsibility for their actions basically you won't matter and neither
will anyone else around them they will always project themselves as the victim
and your feelings will simply not matter in fact if you bring up any concerns
about them they will twist it around so that they appear to be the victim red
flag number 3 they lie they simply lie you will catch them out lying from big
lies to small lies they will lie to you about their whereabouts there will be
gaps in their whereabouts and things will not tally up their feelings
won't reflect how they behave towards you for example the narcissist will tell
you that you mean the world to them and then will devalue you they will make
you feel completely worthless and that you're nothing
red flag number 4 the silent treatment the narcissist will often give you the
silent treatment as a form of punishment if you challenge
them or catch them out on their crap they will give you the silent treatment
this behavior can be described as close to a stroppy child or a spoiled brat
red flag number 5 Narcissists are surrounded by drama everything will be a
great big drama to them their ex will have been a drama and their whole life
will be one big drama remember they are seeking
narc supply the drama of causing a reaction and an argument with you will
give them just the supply they're looking for similarly when you praise
them and give them your full attention you're also giving them supply red flag
number six hoovering once narcissist discard you they will try to hoover you back in
whether they do this within a matter of days weeks or months expect to be
hoovered back in they will make promises of change and to be everything that you
want them to be but it will only be a matter of time until they discard you
again the narc hoover will be purely on their terms
and you will be left in a state of confusion whether you give them one more
chance in my opinion this just prolongs your suffering as the promises of change
never occur red flag number seven triangulation not all but some narcissists
will involve you in a love triangle once they discard you they will quickly
move on to the next supply but will keep you hanging this happened to me you will
still be on the scene and often the narcissist will complain about the new supply
to you the best thing that you can do is to go no contact and to move forward as
this is a cruel way to keep you dangling red flag number eight gaslighting this
is when the narcissist will make you doubt your reality you will be left confused
and question your own sanity they will tell you that they didn't say that
or thee conversation didn't take place so you begin to question what is real
and what isn't red flag number nine they will fake the future they will make out
that you have a blossoming future ahead of you with them they will do this early
on and tell you that they want kids with you a house practically everything but
what they intend to do is to control you and to destroy you and to keep you in
their hook what they are looking for isn't real and they will move on from
victim to victim destroying every single one of them worse of all they will promise a
blossoming future to every victim red flag number 10
something is very off about them you know deep down that something is very
off with them but you can't tell what it is your gut goes crazy and it tells you
to keep away but you can't as the love bombing is so good this just makes
you stay on until you have gone too deep and can't get out you know that things
are very exaggerated something just isn't right but you still choose to
carry on because they promised you the future a perfect future so these are
some of the red flags you need to be aware of the list can go on and on but
simply if something doesn't feel right walk away always follow your gut and
your instinct as that will never lie to you it all depends on if you take note
of your gut so please feel free to comment below and how you have been been
affected by narcissistic abuse tell me about your red flags remember knowledge
is power educate yourself and protect yourself feel free to subscribe to my
youtube channel by clicking on the link below if you feel someone else could
benefit from this video please feel free to share thank you for watching bye