Music
IN THIS WEEK'S SUPER SOUL SHORT FILM, THE POIGNANT
REFLECTION ON LOVE, DEATH, DEVOTION, AND A LIFE LIVED
WITH PURPOSE THAT CAPTURED THE HEARTS OF READERS
AROUND THE WORLD. PAUL KALANITHI SPENT MOST OF HIS
LIFE STRIVING TOWARD THE FUTURE. PASSIONATE ABOUT BOTH
SCIENCE AND WRITING, HE MAJORED IN ENGLISH AND BIOLOGY
AT STANFORD, AND WENT ON TO EARN A MASTERS DEGREE IN
ENGLISH LITERATURE. HE THEN PURSUED A SECOND MASTERS IN
PHILOSOPHY FROM CAMBRIDGE. Paul: If you asked me when I was
17 what I'd be doing with my life, I would have said, "I'll definitely be a
writer." But I found after I completed my undergraduate studies, that
medicine was in fact the perfect place for the kinds of things I was
interested in, and passionate about. PAUL MET HIS WIFE LUCY
DURING THEIR FIRST YEAR AT YALE MEDICAL
SCHOOL. FOUR YEARS LATER, THEY MARRIED BEFORE MOVING
WEST TO BEGIN THEIR RESIDENCIES AT STANFORD. BUT AT AGE
36, AS PAUL WAS CLOSE TO FINISHING NEARLY A
DECADE OF TRAINING AS A NEUROSURGEON, HE RECEIVED A
DEVASTATING DIAGNOSIS: STAGE FOUR LUNG CANCER. IN THAT
SINGLE MOMENT, PAUL SAYS, EVERY DREAM HE HAD FOR HIS
FUTURE DISAPPEARED... Paul: You're always thinking about five
years down the line, what you're going to be doing. That number has no
meaning for me anymore. I'd say I now spend most of my time thinking
about the present and what I plan to do each day, each hour, each
minute. Clocks, which used to sort of rule everything, are now kind of
irrelevant to me. Having a terminal illness kind of forces you to think about
your life and what matters to you. FORCED TO CONFRONT THEIR
NEW REALITY, PAUL AND LUCY RE-ALIGNED THEIR RELATIONSHIP
FOCUSING ON WHAT MATTERED MOST. LUCY: There were a couple
of things that were important to him. One was to return to work as a
neurosurgeon and then to start writing. Those were the two big professional
dreams that he had. He had sort of a sentimental thing that he really
wanted to do which was to go back to the destination that we went to on
our honeymoon. It was that same kind of feeling of a celebration or a
commitment; we still had those feelings even though he was dying. I think
the thing that Paul taught me and showed me is this really simple idea that
life is not about avoiding suffering. It's about finding meaning. PART OF
CREATING THAT MEANING WAS TO START A FAMILY... Paul: The
decision to have children after I was diagnosed was probably the biggest
decision that Lucy and I had to make. But the way we ended up thinking
about it is that, even if you're dying, until the day you actually die, you are
living. For me, it was important to know that Lucy would have a family after
I was gone LUCY: I asked him this question: Is it going to make the fact
of dying even more painful for you? And he said this really amazing thing,
he said "wouldn't it be great if it did make it more painful." PAUL AND
LUCY WELCOMED THEIR DAUGHTER CADY ON JULY 4, 2014. Paul:
Since Cady's birth, my time with her has had a very peculiar and free
nature. It all feels to me like bonus time, in the sense that in all probability I
won't live long enough for her to remember me. At the same time, for me
every day is an exciting, rewarding, meaningful time to spend with her.
LUCY: Looking into those eyes feels like a real connection to Paul. There
was sort of this contrast between dying and growing or living and it was all
happening at the same time. One of the big challenges and privileges of my
life is to help her understand that narrative of where she came from and
who her dad was. Then she and I are together going forward. PAUL
KALANITHI DIED ON MARCH 9, 2015 AT THE AGE OF 37. HIS SPIRIT
AND HIS WISDOM LIVE ON IN HIS NEW YORK TIMES BEST-SELLING
MEMOIR, "WHEN BREATH BECOMES AIR." LUCY: Paul as many of
us are, was interested in the question what makes our life meaningful.
PAUL: It's a careful balance, if you don't think about the bad case, that
ending is going to be rough on you and your family. If you don't think about
the good case you're going to miss an opportunity to really make the most
out of your life and time.