- Can you own the porcelain throne?
- Let's talk about that.
(chill music)
(fire roars)
Good Mythical Morning.
- Mythical beasts, welcome to Monday.
This is a big week.
- Big week!
- Lots of big things happening this week.
It might be somebody's birthday pretty soon.
Later in the week,
we're gonna have a huge announcement
that could be related to-
- Huge.
- Buddy system.
And we're gonna celebrate our 1,000th episode this Thursday.
Make sure you don't miss that.
- Please don't.
- Experience that in real time.
Rhett, on average, a person spends 92 days
in the restroom. - In the bathroom.
- Some people choose to do it all together.
- In a year? - And I do not recommend that.
- In a year or?
- Yeah, like 92 days straight.
Spread it out over your lifetime.
But then the question is if you spend that much,
if that amount of time over your life,
but how well do you know this porcelain throne-
- I spend a lot of time, a lot.
- That you're spending a lot of time on.
I'm gonna test you.
It's time to play How Much Crap Do You Know About Crappers?
(toilet flushes)
All right, Rhett, a little multiple choice action.
Multiple answers that you can choose between.
That's why it's called a multiple choice.
Toilet related facts.
If you get four of these right,
you do not have to spend the rest of the day
using the restroom in an outhouse that the crew built.
I have to do that.
- Oh, okay.
- But you gotta earn that right,
otherwise you're gonna be peeing and pooping
in what looks to be some sort of,
well, I'll show it to you later.
- You're gonna take that thing outside?
- All right, I'm gonna give you three lifelines.
Ask a plumber.
We have a real plumber here.
- I'm sure we do.
- I will unclog a hint for you.
Or you can just flush two answers
if you wanna narrow it down.
But let's get into it.
- I feel like I should be sitting on a toilet
just for maximal engagement.
- Just put your elbows on your knees.
There you go.
That's good. - This is how I sit.
- Channel that.
But not too much.
1/3 of Americans admit to doing this
while seated on the toilet.
- Snapchatting.
- Is it videochatting?
- Oh yeah.
- Brushing their teeth, flushing,
or reading the back of their shampoo bottle
because the conditioner has gotten so predictable, right?
- I do that.
I do read the bottles.
And I do Snapchat as we have established.
I took a Snapchat dookie selfie,
like really early on in our Snapchat career.
- I thought that was Instagram.
So what's your- - No, it was a Snapchat.
- 1/3 of Americans-
- I painted my face.
It was the first thing I ever put on Snapchat.
- Admit to doing this.
- Flushing, more people than 1/3 flush, I would hope.
Courtesy flush.
Brushing your teeth seems efficient.
That could be it.
- And problematic, I would say.
- But I'm gonna go, just because I basically have done it,
videochatting.
Hey.
- No, it's actually flushing,
which surprised me because I was thinking too,
it's a courtesy flush.
- Only 1/3 of people do that?
- But I think what it does is it's the Birmingham bidet.
It gets the stuff that you don't want,
that you just got rid of back up on you.
You know what I'm saying?
I think we need to stop with the courtesy flushing.
- I don't, no, I mean, it's-
- It's not courteous to your own behind to splash it with...
Depends on the-
- If it's coming outta your butt already,
why does it matter if the little dookie particles get
around your butt?
- Do you wipe standing up?
Because I've also heard that people do that.
I don't do that.
I'll flush while seated, but I will not stand to wipe.
- Maybe on an especially, especially thorough one.
- Remind me to ask the crew
because I think there's members of our crew who do this.
- I didn't think this was gonna get so personal.
- Already right off the bat.
In the 1930s,
the Northern Tissue Company was the first brand
to release toilet paper without what?
Is it irritating chemicals, splinters, lead,
or propaganda shame, prota,
or propagamma.
I can't say it.
(everyone laughs)
Or propaganda shaming women for using the bathroom?
- Propagamma, that would be something else.
- Propagamma rays.
- Wow, I really feel like it could be A, B or C.
And so I'm going to ask you to flush two of the answers.
- All right, I'm gonna flush A and D
with my propagamma ray.
- So, splinters or lead.
I could see how they would've made toilet paper
out of like trees 'cause they still do,
but like they hadn't worked out the process yet.
- Don't you tell me they make toilet paper outta trees.
That's crazy!
- So, B could be it.
But lead, they put lead in all kinds of stuff
just to test it on people and babies back in those days.
So, I'm gonna go with C, lead!
- It's splinters.
- No!
Dang!
- Your back is against the wall of this restroom.
Which incidentally I've seen that some people just wipe
using the wall of a restroom.
- Oh.
- It's like, how does that even happen?
- I think that's an accident.
You're talking about when you go into a restroom,
like what happened in here?
- But it's like, it's a wipe.
It's streaked.
- Well, 'cause they tried to clean it up,
and they're like, "Leave this up to somebody else."
- Oh man.
- Gas stations especially.
- It's splinters.
It definitely was.
Also back in the 1930s they would wipe with corn cobs.
- Oh.
I've done that.
- When you get done with your like street corn,
just send it south.
- Well, you gotta let it dry.
- Let it dry. - Don't do it with wet corn.
- It's just abrasive enough.
In the US, the highest number of toilet flushes occur when?
Now you gotta start getting some of these right, man.
You're going into the outhouse.
- I'm flushing myself.
- Is it Thanksgiving Day,
the Superbowl Halftime Show,
the commercial break between "Wheel of Fortune"
and "Jeopardy?"
- That's a good time.
- Or every single Taco Tuesday?
- Wow, I feel like I've heard this before,
and it's either the Superbowl or Thanksgiving Day.
But I don't know.
I don't typically take a potty break at the Superbowl,
but I definitely let the load go on Thanksgiving,
probably along with all Americans.
So, I'm gonna say A, Thanksgiving Day.
- No.
- No!
- You're getting all these wrong.
It's the Superbowl Halftime Show.
Because think about it-
- That can't be true!
How do they even measure that?
- Oh, they measure it.
You're getting it confused
with most plumbers are called the day after Thanksgiving,
which we talked about before.
- Oh.
- But everybody's cycles are aligned.
I don't think that's proper terminology.
Because the Superbowl is across all time zones.
Same thing.
Everybody's watching at the same time
and going to the bathroom at the halftime show.
- So, I gotta get four out of the last five
to not have to use the outhouse.
Boy, I'm gonna dig deep.
Sticking my hand right in the toilet.
- Dig deep.
Considered the world's "oldest public toilet,"
a communal dumping ground was excavated in Argentina
that had once been used by whom?
Cavemen, dinosaurs, woolly mammoths,
or Larry King, Betty White, and Willie Nelson?
- Oh, I'd be there for that. - That'd be a great party.
- I'd line right up.
♪ On the toilet again ♪
- Wow, okay.
I feel like I'm gonna have to get a hint from you.
- Yeah, you gotta start using those lifelines.
- I gotta get ahead of the game here.
- Where's my plunger?
Here it is.
I got my whole chair!
I plunged my whole chair!
Clever girl.
Clever girl getting plunged.
That's my hint.
I wasn't really being weird.
- Clever girl?
- Yeah.
It's a tough hint.
This is a tough game.
- What am I missing?
- "Clever girl" is a quote from a movie.
- From "Silence of the Lambs."
- No.
- Clarice.
- It's a movie with dinosaurs in it.
(everyone laughs)
- Is that "Land Before Time."
(everyone laughs)
Is it from that new-
- "Jurassic Park."
- Oh.
Oh! - So what's your?
- B, dinosaurs.
- Okay.
Got that one right.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Like many animals,
dinosaurs would poop in designated areas to mark territory
and reduce the spread of parasites,
which means dinosaurs are proven to be more considerate
than some of our crew.
Alex, we know it was you.
I saw you squatting in the corner.
It's weird.
Stop doing that.
- Are you talking about a dookie
that was just out on the ground?
- Yeah, that was Alex.
We know it was you. - I thought I saw something.
- It had your name on it.
- I thought I saw some bubblegum colored hair in it.
- You got one right.
That's great, Rhett.
- Yeah, I did.
Thanks for the hint, Link.
- The first American film
to show a toilet being flushed was "The Shining,"
"There's Something About Mary," "Psycho,"
or the "Goodfellas" prequel "Poopfellas,"
which Netflix that now.
It's great.
- Well, I know it's either "The Shining," or "Psycho."
"Psycho" took place, there's a lot of scenes in a bathroom,
but "The Shining" was at a hotel.
I've seen both movies, but I have horrible recall.
"Total Recall" is also a movie.
There's a woman with three breasts in it.
I would like to get a hint from,
I would like to ask a plumber
because I just I'm really, I'm really-
- Send in the plumber.
(Mario jump sound effect)
Please tell me that we added that sound effect in post.
- Yeah, we did.
He made it.
- All right.
First film to show a toilet being flushed was what, Mario?
- I'm pretty sure it was "Psycho."
- Oh, I was hoping-
- You don't sound like Mario though.
- It's a "Psycho."
(everyone laughs)
- That's better.
- He's never failed you.
- You could have worked on that.
You could have.
Okay, thanks, Mario.
- You're welcome. - I've always agreed with you.
I've always chosen you unless I was forced to choose Luigi
when my brother was playing.
- You mean Loogie, which is what we call him as kids.
- "Psycho."
Final answer.
- That is correct.
Good work.
- I should have just gone with it, man!
- It was just paper.
Just paper going down the toilet, right, in "Psycho?"
- I gotta get two out of the last three. All right, come on.
- Many people wrote letters
to the studio calling the toilet shot "indecent."
But they all love the woman getting stabbed to death
in the shower part.
- Yeah, that was a good part.
- No letters about that.
A bidet is not just a water fountain for your butt,
it's also the French word for what?
A brief vacation, a miniature horse,
a small screwdriver, or the fourth Destiny's Child?
- A brief vacation.
- Her vocals are so smooth and cleansing.
- A brief vacation.
That sounds right.
It's like I'm taking a brief vacation from toilet paper.
Or a small screwdriver
because they twist that water right up into your butt hole.
- Or miniature horse.
- Why would it?
Because they used to use horses for this?
'Cause it's like sitting on a little horse.
- 'Cause well, 'cause I love miniature horses.
- I have absolutely no idea.
But brief vacation sounds...
Nope.
But small screwdriver, that sounds painful.
- Well, you don't use these things to clean your butt.
- Brief vacation.
- It's a miniature horse.
- No!
Really?
- Yeah.
- I just thought you added that 'cause you liked 'em.
- A certain breed of tiny horse
that is unfortunately now extinct was known as the bidet.
It's called that.
- And they used it-
- They were great at cleaning their owners' butts.
(Rhett groans)
No, they weren't. I hope they didn't do that.
- Okay, I gotta get one of these right, Link.
If I miss this one, I'm out.
- To visit the world's premiere toilet-themed park,
you need to book a flight to where?
Kanazawa, Japan,
Suwon, South Korea,
Yellow Springs, Ohio, quant little town,
or Hollywood Boulevard where the street's paved with urine.
Sadly, that's kind of true.
- I feel like this is gonna be Japan or South Korea.
And I feel like I know that it's South Korea.
I'm gonna go with B, Suwon, South Korea.
- Book your ticket, Rhett.
You're right.
- Yes!
- Look at this picture.
They have bronze statues of people
in pooping and peeing positions.
Old people, young people, all types of people.
- Everybody poops, man.
We already know that.
There's a book about it.
- Park was built in honor of former mayor,
Sim Jae-Duck, affectionately known as Mr. Toilet,
who devoted his life
to improving South Korea's old toilet system.
But those poor people that they bronzed for the park,
that's horrible.
No, they didn't do that.
Those are statues.
- I got it.
- In his famous novel "Gargantua and Pantagrel,"
16th century French satirist Francois Rabelais
claimed there was nothing better than wiping your booty
with the neck of a goose, the left hand of a servant,
the moss from the Black Forest,
or Le Charmin de Ultra deux ply?
- See what you did there.
Oh gosh.
- Nothing better than wiping your booty with what?
- Gosh, the neck of a goose?
I mean, I'll tell you right now, it does sound good.
(crew laughs)
I mean, moss is gonna hurt,
left hand of a servant's gonna be awkward.
The goose is just gonna sit there and take it.
I mean, I don't advocate it.
I definitely don't advocate it.
Don't think you should try it, but I bet you he said it.
I bet you he wiped his freaking butt with a goose,
and I'm gonna say A, the neck of a goose for the win!
- If you ever see a goose with a brown neck,
give it some bread 'cause it has had a bad day.
You are correct.
- Yes!
Woo!
Yes!
I came back from the hole!
Flush you!
You've got to use a outhouse!
- All right, we're gonna take a look at this outhouse
here in a second.
Thank you for liking, commenting, and subscribing.
- You know what time it is.
- Hi, my name is Austin.
I'm an English teacher in South Korea,
and these are my students.
And it's time to spin the wheel of mythicality!
- It's cooling down out there, everybody.
And the only way to stay warm,
or the coolest way to stay warm,
is with a good mythical hoodie
available at RhettandLink.com/store
Look at that hood!
- It's got a hood. You put this over your head.
Do you know?
It's amazing.
- The fire is not real though.
- Click through to Good Mythical More
where Rhett's gonna share his singing bowls
that he just got.
- Unisong!
Unisong about shearing sheep.
♪ Hey look at this sheep ♪
♪ They're so hairy ♪
♪ Well wooly ♪
♪ It's not the same thing. ♪
♪ Or is it ♪
♪ You can make some clothes out of it ♪
♪ Let's ♪
(Rhett and Link mimic shears buzzing)
♪ That little sheep ♪
♪ And then wear it ♪
- So, do I smack it first or do I just wrap it?
- You just, you trial and error, man.
That's how I figured it out.
(singing bowl vibrates)