>>> HIYA, YOU'RE WATCHING IRELAND ONE.
THE ONLY TELEVISION ON THE TELE NOT CONTROLLED BY THE BLEEDING
BRITISH. NEXT UP, IT'S OUR NUMBER ONE
DATING SHOW. >> "KISS ME, I'M IRISH!"
>> HIYA, WELCOME TO "KISS ME I'M IRISH."
TODAY ONE FELLA WILL CHOOSE BETWEEN THREE IRISH ROSES TO SEE
WHICH ONE SMELLS THE SWEETEST. LET'S MEET OUR DANNY BOY.
>> I'M CALLED NIALL, I'M FROM DANGLE.
MY FAVORITE FOOD IS GRAY. MY CLAIM TO FAME IS THAT I ONCE
PUNCHED BONO IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD.
AT LEAST I THINK IT WAS BONO. >> WELL, BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN
SORRY. WHAT KIND OF GIRL ARE YOU HOPING
TO MEET? >> NOT TO BE TOO PICKY, BUT A
GIRL I SUPPOSE. UNMARRIED.
>> WELL, YOU'RE IN LUCK, WE HAVE THREE OF THEM BEHIND THAT WALL
THERE. EACH ONE IS BEAUTIFUL AS THEIR
SKIN IS BRIGHT RED UNDER THEIR MAKE-UP.
LET'S MEET THEM. >> I'M EILEEN, I'M A GOOD
CATHOLIC GIRL, WHICH MEANS I LOVE GOD AND GOD HATES ME.
BECAUSE I'M THINKING IMPURE THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU.
>> HI, I'M MOLLY, I'M IRISH AMERICAN, BUT I LIVE OVER HERE
BECAUSE I'M STUDYING STONES. AND IF YOU FOLLOW THIS RAINBOW,
YOU MIGHT GET A POT OF GOLD. >> I'VE GOT 35 SUSPICIOUS
FRECKLES ON MY BODY. I'M LOOKING FOR A GUY TO CHECK
THE ONES I CAN'T SEE. >> I HAVE A COUSIN FROM --
O' CONNOR! >> AY, THAT'S ME!
>> IS IT NOW? WHAT ARE THE CHANCES?
>> COUSINS, SOUNDS LIKE MY CHANCES JUST GOT BETTER.
>> WHAT DO YOU SAY, NIALL. FIRST IMPRESSION OF THE GIRLS?
>> WELL, NUMBER THREE IS MY COUSIN.
SHE'S DEFINITELY OFF TO AN EARLY LEAD.
>> WHAT? >> BUT CORN TEST ANTS ONE AND
TWO, I'M OPEN TO LEARNING MORE ABOUT YOU.
>> SEEMS LIKE THERE'S SOME COMPETITION.
NIALL, WHAT'S YOUR FIRST QUESTION?
>> WELL, CALL ME OLD FASHIONED, BUT I LIKE A GIRL WHO KNOWS HER
WAY AROUND THE KITCHEN. NUMBER THREE, WHAT WOULD YOU
MAKE ME FOR SUPPER? >> WAIT, THE COUSIN IS STILL
PLAYING? >> THAT'S EASY, I'D MAKE OUR
NANA'S FAMOUS POACHED PIE. I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVED IT AS
A KID. >> GREAT ANSWER.
>> I'M SORRY, BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
>> I KNOW, RIGHT, LIKE WHAT IS GOING ON.
>> SHE HAS GOT A LEG UP ON US. THEY'RE COUSINS, HOW ARE WE
SUPPOSED TO COMPETE WITH THAT. >> OKAY, THAT WAS NOT WHAT I WAS
GOING TO SAY. >> SETTLE DOWN, PLENTY OF
BACHELORS ON THE SHOW. HAVE PICKED A GIRL THAT ARE
NONCOUSINS. >> TRUST ME, CONTESTANT ONE AND
TWO, YOU'RE BOTH STILL VERY MUCH STILL IN THE GAME.
>> WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY NEXT QUESTION, CONTESTANT ONE, WHERE
WOULD YOU TAKE ME ON A FIRST DATE?
>> THAT'S EASY MANY I'D TAKE YOU TO MY FAVORITE PUB IN DOLAN,
WHERE THE DRINKS ARE FREE AND WE CAN STAY PAST CLOSE.
BECAUSE I KNOW THE OWNER, HE'S ME DAD.
>> I KNOW THE OWNER TOO, HE'S MY UNCLE.
>> EILEEN, IT'S ME, YOUR COUSIN NIALL.
>> COUSIN NIALL. >> ST. JOHN'S GHOST, THE GAME
JUST GOT A LOT MORE COMPETITIVE. >> MORE COMPETITIVE?
YOU'RE RELATED, THE GAME SHOULD BE OVER.
>> I'M AFRAID YOU'RE IN A TOUGH SPOT, MOLLY.
VERY RARELY DOES THE BACHELOR PICK THE NON-COUSIN WHEN THERE
ARE TWO COUSINS IN THE RUNNING. ALL RIGHT, YOU LUCKY BOY.
NEXT QUESTION ABOUT >> LADIES, WHAT'S YOUR IDEA OF
ROMANTIC EVENING? LET'S START WITH CONTESTANT
NUMBER TWO. >> I GUESS DINNER WITH A GUY WHO
ISN'T RELATED TO ME? >> PICKY, PICKY.
HOW ABOUT YOU CONTESTANT NUMBER ONE?
>> MY IDEA OF A ROMANTIC EVENING WOULD BE WEDDINGS, FUNERALS AND
HOLY COMMUNIONS, BECAUSE THAT'S WHEN I GET TO SEE YOU MANY.
[ AUDIENCE AAS ] >> THE AUDIENCE LIKES THAT?
>> WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE HERE, YOU DON'T LOVE YOUR FAMILY?
>> CONTESTANT NUMBER THREE, YOUR TURN.
WHAT'S YOUR IDEA OF A ROMANTIC EVENING?
>> I THINK YOU REMEMBER THREE GOOD FRIDAYS AGO IN THE ALLEY
BEHIND THE FISH MONGERS. >> OH, THAT I DO, THAT I DO.
>> EWW, SO YOU ALREADY HOOKED UP WITH YOUR COUSIN?
>> CALM DOWN, WE DIDN'T HAVE SEX.
WE JUST HAD SEX, WE DIDN'T GET MARRIED OR NOTHING.
>> IS THIS IS A KNOWN THING? LIKE IS THIS COMMON HERE?
AREN'T YOU GUYS WORRIED ABOUT DEFORMITIES FROM INBREEDING.
>> WHAT, LIKE BIRD BONES, LIKE SOFT SKULL.
STRAWBERRY NOSE. TICK-TAC TEETH.
BROWN BLOOD. ONE BIG TOE.
GREAT ADVICE, BUT YOU'RE ABOUT 500 YEARS TOO LATE.
>> THAT'S WHY I ALWAYS HAD A CRUSH ON HIM, HE'S GOT IT GOING
ON UP HERE. >> OKAY.
I'M GOING TO STAY, BUT ONLY BECAUSE I'M MORBIDLY CURIOUS
ABOUT WHO'S GOING TO WIN. ♪♪♪
>> THAT SONG MEANS FATHER MICHAEL IS COMING IN TO HEAR
CONFESSIONS. IT'S TIME FOR US TO TAKE A QUICK
BREAK. I'M AIDAN KILLKENNY AND WE'LL BE
RIGHT BACK.