hi everyone Adrienne Everheart your dating and relationship coach ladies today I'm gonna talk
about three things that are major turn offs for men that are gonna repel him so quickly
and just really in the relationship make him have second guesses about you and doubt you
and if we get around to it I don't go over on time in this video I'm gonna give you a bonus
fourth okay as we all know men will fill a connection with a woman it can feel really
strong it's much the same for yourself you'll feel a connection with a man and
then sometimes something happens and then you remember something else that happened
and you put those things together and you're just like you know I'm done and you're ready
to walk away now I believe men can do this pretty quickly in a relationship especially
when it's kind of fresh or it's new because they tend to really stuff down their feelings
and they feel a lot they feel these subtle nuances from us but they can't always talk about them in
the way that we can talk about things so then the reverse of that happens with us is that sometimes
things go wrong they're not even that big of a deal but we talk about them we talk about them
and talk about them and this is where you can sometimes to repel the man in that way but I'm
gonna go a little bit into more subtle detail and give you some hot topics that will keep him from
getting super big turned off and losing interest in you I do not want you to repel a guy by doing
these things so number one is you talk bad about his friends or his family now early on I was
married to an absolutely amazing guy in my youth but I really his family there were some things
about their lifestyle there were some issues about them that were just oh just not like him
he was the normal one in that family and everyone else was just so strange and very critical of him
and their house was very different than anything I had been in and very early on I would just tell
him very bluntly what I thought about them and this is before I knew about feminine and masculine
energy and I was definitely in my masculine energy so I would talk about his family not in terrible
ways but in ways that let him know that these weren't my favorite people so the same goes if
you talk about one of his guy friends you see anything negative you might as well be saying
it about him he's gonna take it that way so what am I asking you to do do you stuff down your own
feelings no yo where the yoke and I talked about this in my coaching this is where if you're gonna
really find out it things are gonna evolve into something with this man beyond just dating beyond
a relationship and into commitment and on to marriage you have to learn how to wear the yoke
which is these people are important to him I'm not going to talk bad about them now this doesn't
mean you give up your boundaries and you put yourself in an unsafe situation or put yourself
in a harmful situation but as much as you can you wear the yoke and you make peace with whatever it
is then to a girlfriend vent to your mom write in your journal about it but just don't talk
about it with him again unless it is a boundary issue that needs to be addressed at some point
and I think you'll know the difference number two is you try to change him kind of immediately
now I've actually worked with clients who tell me that after date three or four something like
the man's beard is really rough on their skin and they tell him you need to get your face lasered
or you need to wax before you go on a date with me or you need to make sure you're shaven you're
tearing my face up when we make out now you're trying to change him kind of immediately you're
telling him the way you show up in my life doesn't work for me and you have to remember
this is why you're dating him you're dating him to find out does he work in your life not how can
I make him fit into my life how can I change him so that he fits into it this is how he's showing
up so eventually when you're in a committed relationship with this man you can let him
know you know I I'm gonna have to have a healthy boundary here I can only be kissed if you shave
or if the the razor stubble is really really bothering your skin you just tell him I want
to kiss you so bad it would feel so good to kiss you right now yet if I do my face is gonna peel
and you will see this man shave go to the bathroom and shave faster than anyone so he
can kiss you so you don't want to come at him in a in a criticizing way you want to come at
hand with like here's how I feel I want to kiss you it's gonna feel so good you know I want to
do this yet it's gonna do this to me and then let him figure it out let him go get waxed or
lasered or shape let him figure out what to do about it if he wants to kiss you he'll figure
it out now time for number three this is what we don't want to do to repel a man and really
turn him off from us a lot of women really are into sports or they're not into other things
that a man might be interested in and he could be a great businessman he might be really into
baseball or football and it just really really doesn't interest you at all or you might be in
a specific type of music so if you're not really interested into in that sort of thing and you just
tell him really bluntly like oh I hate football oh I hate baseball oh I can't stand that band or
something like this it's really gonna repel him so you might as well just say well I'm
just gonna cut this part of you out of my life because I don't like it it doesn't work for me
and you might really feel strongly believe me my husband when I met him and fell in love with him
he told me about a band he really really loves and I've never thought anything about this band
I think they're sort of overplayed in my opinion but they're very important to him and what did he
do he turned me on to their discography with much more deeper tracks than just things I've heard on
the radio so it completely altered my perception of this band so what did I do I just went into
it willingly I went into it and said well I'm just gonna see what it's about I'm gonna see
what this is really really about now what if your dad when you're a kid forced you to go to baseball
games and you know absolutely you hate spot games and you don't want anything to do with baseball
games so how do you dress this with this guy well what's so wrong with him enjoying baseball and is
it the worst thing ever to maybe go to a game with him once in a while and just check out the guy's
absorb the male energy practice all your feminine energy tools I teach you so what am I saying I
want you to find some work around instead of just absolutely what you like is what I don't like you
want him you don't have to say I love it even though you you know you don't I don't want you
to do that but I don't want you to shut it down I don't when he closed out the option of being open
that's what good relationship to do they challenge you they expand
everything about you so that's the name of the game and if you're drawn to that
person there is a good chance that you need some of that in your life I
do have time to give you the bonus force and the bonus fourth is a big one lady
this is something that I really took me so long to wrap my head around and really get
and really understand why and how this works with a man and why it is such a big turn-off if you do
this so a lot of times when we have any sort of disagreement with a man or misunderstanding or
we're maybe just not getting along you're both a little stressed out you're both a little tired
you'll do a couple of things you will wear your emotion silently so you'll soak you'll tell him
everything's fine and you'll just close out for him and he knows that you're not telling him the
truth so when you say I'm fine and you're really not fine he doesn't trust you it says to him I
cannot trust this woman's words he'll go along with it but he'll feel I can't trust that girl
she tells me she's fine but I know she's not fine she tells me she's okay but I know she's
not okay and these little things just add up in a man's heart they really do a man wants to know
that your word means what you're really saying because he can tell the difference they're much
more perceptive and sensitive than we give them credit for ladies so when you are feeling just
shut down cold and indifferent just say you know I don't know how I feel right now I don't know how I
feel I don't know what to say I feel a little icky I feel a little tired I feel a little angry but I
don't feel like going into it you can express all of those things instead of I'm fine and
just shutting him out and based essentially lying to him so keep it honest keep it open have your
boundaries learn how to speak your words from a place of feeling instead of direction and solution
all right everybody thank you so much if you like this video please leave some comments
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