I don't want to be presumptuous here.
I can call you Buzz?
Buzz, that's a legal.
Passport, drivers license.
Okay, and I am Uncle Coney tonight.
Uncle Coney.
Let's talk about this because this is fascinating.
I remember very clearly.
I think anybody who was alive at the time does.
I remember my parents waking me up
and we went down and we watched you guys land on the moon.
No you didn't, no you didn't.
What?
Because there wasn't any television.
There wasn't about taking a picture.
You watched animation.
You associated what you saw with.
I have very hazy memories.
I know.
What we saw was we all were gathered
around the old curve top radio and listened.
You heard me talking about how many feet
we were going to the left and right.
And then I said, "Contact light, engine stop."
[Conan] It was exciting.
A few other things and then Neil said,
"Houston, Tranquility Base.
"The eagle has landed."
Man, how about that?
That was very exciting.
Not a bad line.
Yeah, yeah.
So were you self-conscious about the entire earth
is watching and listening to everything that you guys do?
Were you self-conscious at all
about what am I gonna say?
What if I say something that's kinda stupid?
It's in the history books forever,
like "I want a cookie" or you know?
You got it, you got it.
[Conan] You worried then?
We were focused, you know?
I was afraid that Neil might say,
"Hey, you better go out first
"and think up a couple of lines to say
"when you step on the moon".
[Conan] Right, right.
Because that's a huge responsibility.
Now, you were not the first man to walk on the moon,
but you've actually talked about this.
You were the first man to relieve himself on the moon.
Is that true?
That is correct.
[Conan] That is correct.
(applause and laughter)
But not on the moon, you know?
You didn't unzip, yeah, right.
You do not want to unzip. Right, right.
That would be stupid.
But we got a little devise.
I don't want to know about the devise.
You know, actually in the footage
you're the one that's bunny hopping.
You know what I mean?
Why were you doing that? Because you look at the footage
and you were the astronaut that started
jumping up and down on the moon
and doing some kind of a bunny hop.
Not bunny hop, kangaroo hop.
Two feet.
Ugh, I always mess up these technical terms.
You gotta keep those people
in the souther hemisphere happy.
What was the point of that?
Was that a scientific experiment
or you had too much gas in the helmet?
No, I thought it was a good idea.
(laughter)
I thought it was a good idea in front of the TV
to bounce around and to demonstrate
how easy a guy could move around, or a gal,
could move around on the moon.
What did you eat up there?
You always hear about, we were told that you guys had tang.
I think you didn't have tang.
We didn't call it that.
We had an orange drink,
but you know, some of the guys didn't like the orange drink
so we'd cut it with grapefruit juice
and we called it orange grapefruit juice.
'Cause as kids we were told the astronauts drank tang.
You must also have tang.
And now I find out that that's a bunch of bologna, you know?
No, we had whatever went into tang,
went into the orange drink, so.
You know, NASA gets a little sensitive
about commercializing things, Coca-Cola and that sort.
Right, they don't like that kind of thing.
What did you actually eat?
What kind of food were you having up there?
Well it wasn't gourmet.
You don't want to have crummy things
because the crumbs go all over the place.
Dried peas would not work.
Caviar would be good.
Or like a pound cake, a dry pound cake.
You would eat that because the crumbs are everywhere.
This is good pound cake (funny sounds).
You know, and suddenly you're in trouble.
But caviar would have been good,
but it's a little expensive and we were
getting a little over budget.
So we had to have hot dogs, I think it was.
You didn't have hot dogs.
Yeah, little hot dogs.
This is a big scientific mission.
They shoved hot dogs into the capsule just before you went?
Oh yeah, and have these.
No, it was new, it was innovative
because up to that time we'd had
what they called freeze dried.
It's all in a plastic pouch and it's all vacuated.
You know, you take all the stuff out of it
and all the water out of it.
And on one end it's got a little valve
and you pump the water in through a water gun
[Conan] Right.
And if it's freeze dried coffee,
then you can put hot water in.
That was luxury.
The command module on Apollo had hot water in it.
Well now we actually, we're not gonna get into it,
but the foods they have today are like
freeze-dried pizzas, beef stroganoff.
They have actually add water and you get a nine-layer cake.
These guys have some serious food.
It's almost like a TV dinner
and sometimes a TV puts you on the TV
while you're eating dinner.
You know, I bet you thought I wore this just for you.
[Conan] What, because of the late night theme.
All these stars and moons and all around.
It'd be nice if you wore a tie that was a tribute to me.
(laughter)
I bet you thought that's.
That's nice.
You got a lot of stars and moons all over you.
You're like the Lucky Charm guy.
(laughter)
That's very cool, they're everywhere.
What do you got?
What's this right here?
I don't know, they throw this stuff on us.
It's a clip-on.
(laughter)
I have to mention before we go
that you've written a book.
This is a novel.
That's right.
And it's called The Return, right here,
which people should check out.
It's a techno-thriller.
And it's based on some of your experiences?
No, it's based on what I think should happen.
[Conan] What should happen?
We need to start flying private citizens in space.
And this talks about flying a journalist
and then a game show winner pyramid to space,
and then a coup de gras is a well-known celebrity.
Yes!
Oh no, well-known, sorry.
(laughter)
No, he's a basketball player.
Tall, retired, worked for a shoe company.
(laughing)
Michael James!
Yeah, he's gonna sue you so fast, yeah.
Michael Gordon.
Well the book The Return is available now.
Buzz, it's really cool.
I've always wanted to meet you.
It's really great to have you on the program.
Thank you for doing it.
Hey, nice to be here.
(cheering)
Buzz Aldrin, everybody.