Hey, guys!
In an effort to further encourage healthy use of MBTI on this channel,
I'm going to be starting a new series...
in which I'm going to attempt to dive deeper into the minds of each of the types...
from the perspective of people who are actually of that type.
For a while now, I've been running an Instagram page...
on which I ask various questions - could be anything -
and then I ask people to respond with their type and their answer.
I then analyze all of the answers and see if I can find any conclusive...
or semi-conclusive trends between the type groups.
This has turned out to be a really interesting exercise...
for proving the differences in how the cognitive functions...
affect the personality of the person.
It's been great to have some actual examples and data behind this.
For instance, in my most recent episode of this experiment, I discovered that xNFJs
are more likely to be drawn to teaching, as their profession,
than any other type group.
And xNFPs are more likely to be drawn to art, as a profession,
than any other type group.
And this is just one of the many trends that I found,
which you can listen to, if you're interested, in my podcast.
I'll include a link to that in the description of this video.
All this to say, this has been such an awesome and effective way...
of learning about types from the perspective of people...
who are actually out there; telling me about their type experience,
their personality, their journey, their tendencies.
My Instagram followers are so wonderfully on board...
with giving insightful, honest answers to the questions that I get.
So I figured that I'd bring the content onto my main channel...
by providing the answers that I find to you.
I really believe - and I've said it before - that one of the most valuable uses of MBTI
is to discover how people are different from you...
and why they're different from you so that you can love them better.
With love and understanding being the ultimate goal.
So beginning with INFJs, I asked my INFJ followers...
to submit their answers to the question:
"How can your loved ones make you feel loved/valued?"
And here are some of the answers that they've shared...
and the trends that I found.
So all together, I got 54 answers from people who were typed as INFJs.
Obviously, I don't know how these people type themselves as INFJs,
so I did take the answers with a pinch of salt.
But I did still find some coherent trends across the type group.
Hands down, the most prevalent trend of the INFJ group was that 55% of INFJs...
- that's 30 out of 54 - wrote that they feel the most loved when someone takes the time
to sit down with them and listen to their inmost thoughts and feelings.
And not only listen, but to try and understand.
And there was a huge emphasis placed on "understanding".
So some examples of answers that communicated this idea were:
"Spending time together, talking about how we feel,
reflecting about stuff and listening to each other."
"Listening to my ideas/projects, talking through problems (mine or theirs),
and understanding."
"By at least trying to understand my complicated viewpoints and emotions."
"Being genuinely loved and accepted with sensitivity when I'm being vulnerable."
"Engaging in discussion about a passion of mine,
even if they're not familiar with it."
"Really listen and work to understand,
not only what is being said, but the heart behind it."
"Listen to my concerns and genuinely help me understand my complicated feelings."
A couple of longer answers were:
"Take interest in my favorite abstract topics, such as MBTI.
I will love you if you can deal with my overanalysis of everything...
and also serve as a grounding presence into reality...
and guide me to what I need to focus on in the present,
or even take care of some of those things for me."
And:
"By being willing to have very serious, deep conversations about things...
we hold dear and value, especially feelings.
By not purposely arguing against (aka playing devil's advocate)..."
ENTPs, take note.
"... or insulting something we hold dear or value.
By supporting our taste in art, music, literature, etc;
even if it's not to their taste (we take it really personally...
when someone says something we like is dumb)."
Of course, we all like it when people sit down...
and listen to the things we're interested in.
But the important thing to note is that INFJs listed this...
as their NUMBER ONE thing that makes them feel loved and valued.
Whereas for the rest of us, it might take slot number five...
in our love languages or something.
So it is clearly, or very high priority to them,
and THE most important thing to them.
Branching off this major trend, I noticed that 14% of INFJs...
specified that they like to be asked about themselves,
so not just listen, but actually ask about their interests, thoughts and feelings.
A few examples of answers that reflected this were:
"When people take the time to ask how I'm doing and show genuine interest."
"Literally just text me every once in a while...
and say 'hi' or ask how I'm doing, so it's not just me."
And:
"Showing that they really care for me and are interested in how I feel...
and what I have to say + make me feel heard."
Other notable trends were that 11% of INFJs noted that they feel loved when others...
choose to share their personal feelings and thoughts with them.
9% of INFJs wrote that they feel really loved...
when others display little gestures that show that you were thinking of them,
such as cards, hugs, little text messages throughout the day.
9% of INFJs wrote that they feel loved when their boundaries are respected.
7% wrote that they feel loved when others express gratitude towards them.
7% wrote that they feel loved when others ask them for advice.
And another 7% wrote that they feel loved when others give them words of affirmation.
Again, all of these things would make your average Joe feel loved; I'm pretty sure.
But, again, the point is that the INFJ followers who responded to my question...
listed this as their number one priority in terms of love language.
So if you've got an INFJ in your life,
it might do you well to pay attention to these details.
And the last thing that I'll read out is a bit of a longer answer...
that touches on a lot of the things I've already mentioned:
"You can make me feel loved by listening to me,
by doing little things that you know I like,
heartfelt thoughts and gifts, by being observant of our likes and dislikes,
since INFJs don't wear their emotions on their sleeves,
unconventional yet simple birthday gifts. 'This reminded me of you.'
That is a wonderful message to get.
We feel more than we show.
Simply asking us and trying to connect on a deeper level is one thing that I love.
Reminding us that we are important when we get tunnel vision,
because we tend to ruminate.
Help us connect with our Se when we fall into an existential loop.
Have the ability to empathize with someone whose situation is different from yours."
I'm really excited to say that I obviously didn't read out...
all of the answers that I got in this video,
but if you'd like to read all of the answers that were submitted,
I've uploaded a PDF document with all 54 answers that I was given...
verbatim as they were written on my website:
www.hellodearkristin.com
I did that, because it's all well and good to listen to the trends that I pick up,
but a lot of people are actually interested...
in the actual raw data before I made my analysis.
So feel free to check that out if you'd like to take a closer look;
I've put the INFJ's said.
Generally speaking, it was interesting to note...
that most of the INFJs wrote about relationship dynamics...
as opposed to business endeavors, creative endeavors,
doing activities together physically, valuing autonomy above all else, etc, etc.
Again, we all value these things; I'm well aware, but it's important to take note
of a specific type's number one preference when it comes to their love language.
That is how we can learn to love other people...
in the way that they feel the most loved.
And I already know that there are a lot of differences across the board with the types,
because I've had people message me about this in my Instagram.
So I'm excited to do more videos about what makes the other types feel loved and valued.
So if you'd like to participate in these questions going forward...
- I would definitely appreciate your response to these questions -
please jump over to dear.kristin on Instagram and give me a follow...
so that you don't miss the question for your type when it comes up.
Especially if you're a sensor type, because I know that I don't get...
a lot of answers from senses when it comes to these kinds of questions;
and I would really appreciate your contribution.
Back to the trend that I was just talking about:
The heavy emphasis on relationship dynamics is pretty classic of 'F' users in general,
but it certainly gives an insight into how INFJs...
crave a very particular deep soul connection...
based on deep dives into emotions and insights.
Now are you an INFJ who wants to nuance that further?
Almost certainly you are.
So jump into the comments and let me know...
your thoughts/elaborate on the answers that we've touched on in the video.
Also, if you're not a INFJ, feel free to leave your thoughts...
in the comments of this video.
Have you had an experience with INFJs and how they feel loved?
Please let us know.
Once again, you can find all of the INFJ answers...
that I used for this video over on my website under the Type Trends resources tab...
under which I've also got some of the other PDF documents...
for my other Type Trend episodes; all on my website hellodearkristin.com
And the podcast episodes where I go into an in-depth analysis...
on each of the Type Trends can be found at my podcast channel:
"Literally No Subtext with Dear Kristin".
And one more thing:
It is super time consuming to conduct these analyzes...
and to correlate the responses into the documents,
so if you're interested in sponsoring the content,
feel free to join the Patreon community.
There's a lot of extra content on there and it really helps me out a lot.
All of the links that I've mentioned can be found in the description of this video.
So until next time, guys! Thank you for watching.
Don't forget to leave your thoughts. And I'll chat to you later.
Bye!