Hey Guys
As most of you know I've been single for a long time now
And as much as I say it's fine to be single,
I'm not gonna lie that sometimes I miss it
Especially when 90% of my closest friends have girlfriends
(BOOM)
(CONFUSED BOOM)
Hey! I don't have a girlfriend. I'm not a lesbian!
Prove it then. Kiss me!
Gross! No!
Eh, lesbian
Anyway, I'm sure a lot of you guys out there can relate.
When you're single and all your friends are in a relationship, it makes you want one even more.
Even if it's unintentional every time you see them together, it kinda feels like they're just rubbing it in your face that you're single.
Hey you!
(mocking L sounds)
Wow, ok you guys are just gunna call me a loser to my face?
What? No! we're just singing L's
What?
Get it? Because you're sing-L
(forced laughter)
Ok I may be exaggerating a little bit
But to all you single people out there you know what I mean right?
I realize that part of the reason why I'm single is because I have no game what so ever
And also I spend pretty much all my time in my room by myself, alone making videos
may be part of the reason why
And again I know alot of you guys are the same. But I took it upon my self, I made it a mission after years of studying women
And men, and relationships and gophers
I don't know. I don't know why, I don't know
I discovered and created the BEST techniques and pick-up lines ever invented that will get you any girl
So for all you fellow losers out there Im standing up for you
I'm gunna help you, I'm gunna teach you, i'm gunna teach you 100% effective techniques (I don't know if they're good or bad yet) But they're 100% effective
That will get you any girl you want!
(Funky music)
The first thing you have to master in order to get girls are the 3 C's
Cool, Courage, Confidence
When I see a pretty girl, I turn into a complete loser
Well I don't turn into a loser, my inner loser comes out
(Dance music)
(gasp)
(awkward stutter)
that's where the first C comes in; cool
You have to play it cool don't freak out
Second C, courage. One of the hardest steps when you see a
pretty girl is to go over and approach her, and I'm not gonna lie, I used to
chicken out a lot.
(deep breath)
(stammers)
This is when courage comes in. Don't make her wait.
You just need to instantly build up the courage and just walk right up to her.
And once you got those two down, all you need is the third C, confidence. Don't
ever show that you're nervous. Never show weakness.
You're the-- you're the-- (mumbling) face
is nice. I thought I'd come over here and say that-- you're-- I--
Just be confident. When you're
confident, anything you say will work.
'Sup, bitch?
Oh!
Alright, so maybe you can't say
anything. In fact, here's a list of things that you should probably never say
because they don't work, trust me.
Whoa, you got some big feet!
Oh!
What's up,
girl? I like your stubble.
Oh!
Hey, we got the
same Adam's apple.
Oh!
Hi, I'm Ryan Higa.
Oh!
Wow, this is amazing.
I could not ask for a better situation. Do you think you would like to maybe
introduce me to your friend?
Oh!
I don't know. I thought they'd think it was funny.
So now you guys got the three C's down, all that's left is what you have to say.
I don't know what that was.
There are a lot of different girls in this one, and that's why I
created pick-up lines for every single type of girl, such as...
For hot girls, guys are always trying to come up with newer, smarter
pickup lines, so it's actually more original to a hot girl to give her a
lame and obvious one. Key point, just be different. If other guys are trying too
hard, do the opposite. Hey, could I have your number? Cuz I seem to have lost mine.
Sure.
What is this?
My phone number.
Well, how's this supposed to help me find mine?
(sniffs) Oh my god,
did you fart?
What? No...
Cuz you just blew me away.
I haven't heard that one since the third grade.
For a second there... (Ryan farting)
Nevermind, it was me.
Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my
number, so... what?
Aren't you gonna finish the song?
That's a song? Hmm. There's my
number. Here, you can have this one.
A lot of the coolest
girls are nerds, girls that are smart and into technology and video games. Well, all you
have to do here is just play on their level.
Um, excuse me, do you happen to have
an iOS 6 or later iPhone that I could borrow? I just really need Google Maps,
being that I'm completely lost in your eyes right now.
Hey, are you busy tonight?
Cuz I think you should come over to my place. Yeah, you know, we can have a LAN
party, play some Counter-Strike, where I'll obviously be the Counter Terrorist
because you're obviously the terror story.
Wait, what?
You're looking bomb tonight, girl.
You know the difference between you and me? About 12 inches. That's almost the
size of my feet, which are about nine, and you know the difference between your
feet and my feet? I said it earlier, twelve inches, which we all know is the length
of a foot, and if I were to take my foot and take a one-foot step towards you, you
know what the difference between you and me would be then?
Uhm, zero?
No, you didn't
count the length of my foot. It's like something like negative nine. My foot
would be on your foot because I'm coming on to you.
Some girls don't like to play games. Just get straight to the point.
Hey, what's up, girl? Let me put my P in your V real quick.
Your P?
Yeah, my P, you know,
my-- my D.
Oh, okay.
Thanks for letting me put my pet deer in
your van. How can I ever repay you?
Kiss me.
Straight to the point.
Just make it seem like
you're insulting her at first when you really aren't. That way, the next line will
sound amazing.
Wow, you must have a lot of Big Mac meals from McDonald's, huh?
Excuse me?
Yeah, cuz out of all the girls here, you're number one.
Sometimes there's gonna be a language barrier. You just have to adapt.
(slowly) Do you like the anime One Piece?
You don't have to speak like that.
I speak English.
You, anime, One Piece. Hai?
If you find out she's a hardcore Belieber...
Hey, do you like Justin Bieber?
Oh my god.
I love him!
Bye.
...chances are she's underage. Walk away.
These are specifically meant for girls who think that pickup lines are cheesy.
Let them know they don't even know what cheesy means yet.
Look, I know this might
seem a little out of the blue, and I know you're probably feta with a bunch of
guys coming up to you, so I'll keep this brie-f. I think it would be a gouda idea if
we were to prowl around together, unless, of course, you prefer to provolone.
Oh my
gosh, you're the cutest. May I have a picture with you?
You have my Parmesan.
One, two, three, say "cheese."
That's not a good one.
Last but not least, some girls just hate pickup lines in general, because they hate when guys are
predictable and give them the same old thing. These pickup lines are a little
less predictable, and they kind of do the opposite.
Um, did it hurt?
What, when I fell
from heaven? Yeah, I heard that one before.
What? No, when your ex-boyfriend broke up
with you a month ago.
What? Who-- who told you that?
Yeah, and your new boyfriend broke up with you tonight, huh?
I don't have a boyfriend.
We're through.
Hey, are you from Tennessee?
Why? Cuz I'm the only ten you see?
No, you're like a six, still above average.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put--
What? U and I together?
No, I mean, I would use those letters, but it would be
U R A B-I-T-C and H.
So overall, in conclusion, now that you know how to pick
up girls, the last thing you have to do is simple. Just go for it. Oh, that's
why. And before you know it, you'll go from this...
You're the-- (mumbles) face is nice.
I thought I'd come over here and say that- hi.
...to this.
Hey, you like Justin Bieber?
Uh, he's alright, I guess.
In that case, did it hurt, you know, when your ex-boyfriend
broke up with you?
No, it was a mutual breakup.
Oh, well, um, well, are you from
Tennessee? Because you're--
No, I'm a five, maybe six tops.
Um, well, if I could
rearrange the alphabet--
But really, you can't, so...
Look, I'm doing my best, all right? I'm trying my hardest.
Just stop trying. Just be yourself.
(sighs) Look, I just-- I just like you a lot. I saw
you from across the club earlier, and you're so pretty and I just-- I
didn't know what to do or say and I just froze, you know? Once I got the
courage to come over here, I just-- I started saying all these pick-up lines
from this dumbass video I watched earlier, and--
Look, just take it easy. If you
have to watch your video to be something you're not,
girls are gonna see right through that. Just be yourself.
You're right. You think
we could start over?
Sure.
Hi, I'm Ryan Higa.
Oh!
How could this night get any worse?
Hey, you.
(chorus of L's)
(screaming chipmunk)
Just... just felt left out.
So...
See you guys later.
I don't know where the--
why the DJ stopped, but...