Greetings guys, gals, and non-binary pals and welcome back to another video!
I have just rolled out of bed but had a weird amount of motivation.
I don't know when that's gonna hit me again, so I sat down and decided to film my video for you today.
As you can see behind me here in place of the Skzoos, I have a bowl of coffee.
Which is normal in New Zealand, but it is not normal here apparently.
At home, you buy lattes in three sizes. Regular, large, or bowl.
And so sometimes... I just- I make a bowl of coffee.
If you need to know two things about me, it's that I am gay and that I cannot exist without coffee.
I need coffee to be a person in the morning.
And if you can see, I have not yet finished my coffee, so this is gonna be really interesting.
Let's see...
How this goes.
Now today, I believe is the first video of the month.
And we all know what that means.
It means it is time for another checkup on our good friends, the Heterosexuals.
This is the text conversation between a gay man and his sister's boyfriend.
And the boyfriend asked him what his sister's body count was, and this is the conversation.
Uuuum. Yeah. This is so odd.
What possesses you to go ask your girlfriend's sibling their body count?
Also, why do you care so much?
I don't- I will never understand the fascination people have with people's body counts. Like, it literally doesn't matter.
It means nothing. It means f_ck all.
What goes through your head to make you think that that's a good idea?
Oh, and the F slur too?
I really hope you got dumped like seconds after this conversation.
I hope screenshots were sent and breaking ups occurred.
And I hope that you are still alone.
Two things.
One.
Surely you should want to help out with the chores, right?
Surely you should want to like...
Help make your wife's life a little bit easier. You should want to contribute.
And also...
You should be wanting to like have sex and do like sexual things with one another.
You should- Like that should not be something you're forced to do.
That should be something that you want to do.
And not everyone likes giving blowj_bs and that's totally fine.
You don't have to like that and if you don't like it, then you don't have to do it.
Right?
But like, if you're doing it, you should like it.
And I don't understand people who are like totally okay with like accepting like any form of sexual activity at all while one person's not enjoying it or one person feels forced to do it.
Like... that just doesn't sound enjoyable at all.
If the person I'm with isn't having a good time and isn't enjoying it, then I am not enjoying it either.
I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable.
The whole thing about sex is that it's like...
A thing you do together. It's something you enjoy together.
You should all want to be participating in it, and if you're not then it's not a good time.
And would you not feel uncomfortable and like gross?
It makes no sense to me. I don't quite understand.
Um...
Guys. You need to sort that out.
Maybe get a divorce.
I feel like a divorce is probably good.
If you don't want to help out around your house and like...
Your wife doesn't want to have sex with you but you want to have sex,
Maybe you should have a conversation. Maybe- Maybe- You should do something about that.
I think- I think something needs to happen there.
But you shouldn't- you shouldn't be using sex as like a way to get people to do things.
Communicate. Get divorced. Get therapy.
I don't know. Whatever's gonna work for you.
But this doesn't feel like a situation that's working very well.
But, you know what?
This leads me perfectly into today's video sponsor, Beducated.
Something we all know, something I talk about a lot, is that sex education in schools is really, really lacking.
And it leaves people with a lot of unanswered questions about sex, about relationships, and about just sexual well-being in general.
I, myself, have made a few sex-ed videos in hopes to help bring a little extra education to those of you who need it.
Um, but obviously I haven't answered everything. I don't know everything.
And there's a lot of questions that you will still have about sex, and relationships, and tips, and advice, and... all of that.
And that is where Beducated comes in.
Beducated is like an online library for sexual well-being, and relationships, and tips and advice.
And there's a whole range of different courses that you can take,
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And a whole range of those courses are directed towards couples!
Which is really, really cool, because, you know, I always say you need to communicate with one another,
To ask for what you like and to have that conversation.
But, sometimes, you don't really know what you like.
Especially if you're sort of new to the whole sexual experience thing.
And sometimes it can be hard to communicate and figure those things out together.
So having a resource such as Beducated, where you can take courses together on things like,
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They even have a whole section for vanilla sex.
And there's something about learning these things together and figuring out together that is really, really cool and really special.
And can help form a better bond in the relationship because it does open up the door to more communication and figuring things out together.
And that's just a lot of fun as well.
I, myself, have a lot of sexual trauma and as much as I like to talk about it like a normal thing and something that's really easy for me,
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And I find courses like this really helped me in feeling more comfortable in having discussion and feeling more comfortable and normal in my own body.
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It's a really incredible resource and I'm really glad that something like this exists.
Because we really need it.
On to the next one!
Sluts don't want to date you.
Like, this is the thing. They're like- "Say no to sluts! Don't date sluts!"
Okay, fine. I don't want to date you anyway.
Like, I'm not missing out. You seem like a trash person.
Like, what do you want? What are you trying to accomplish?
You standing out here and slut-shaming me doesn't make me want to stop being a slut, it just makes you look like a dick.
I'm gonna- I'm gonna have sex with whatever consenting people I want to and you can't stop me.
And I don't care about your opinion.
If you don't want to have sex with me, that's fine. I don't to have sex with you either.
So are you just upset because no one wants to have sex with you? Like, what's the problem here?
What- What is your problem with sluts? What's your problem with people sleeping around? I don't understand.
"Used women." What?! Use- What? How?
What are you on? Get your head out of the f_ckin like, 1920s.
I don't f_ckin know. Just calm down, sir.
No one asked.
Your opinion means nothing to me. Your opinion means nothing to me.
I'll just go have sex with your sister, it's fine.
So this is a post in "Crochet for Beginners and Beyond".
What?! It's a rainbow. It's literally all the colours.
What's not appropriate about a rainbow? Like, especially like-
Not- Not to stereotype colours or whatever, but like if you're gonna go off of like stereotypes,
Don't people get rainbows for girls? Is that not a thing that people do? Have rainbows just-
Is everyone just like, "rainbows are gay now"
Like, yes. But also they're just rainbows, you know?
Like they're still just rainbows.
Like, it's like gay but also just rainbows.
You can have rainbow things without being gay.
And even if it is gay...
Who cares, man?
This was not made to be gay. This was made to be rainbow, because rainbows are pretty.
Like, what is wrong with you?
It's a rainbow. Get the f_ck over it.
So rude, oh my god.
It's a blanket. Someone made a blanket for your baby.
And you're like "No, this is inappropriate."
What the f_ck, ma'am?
Listen.
The conservatives seem to just like not pay attention to anything. They just make so much sh_t up.
Like this is straight out of their f_ckin ass.
I remember all through Pride Month, everyone's just talking about how rainbow capitalism is bad when it comes from companies that are like, not usually queer-friendly.
Like there are like companies that donate to like anti-queer groups or like support anti-queer organizations.
And then they're like "Ahaha, Pride!"
Like that pisses everyone off.
Everyone's pissed off about that
Every gay person I know was like making fun of rainbow capitalism and laughing at it and talking about how stupid companies are.
Like, where have you been?
What are you on?
We criticize rainbow capitalism so much. We make fun of it more than anyone else does.
Like, sometimes, yeah, I will buy some rainbow things.
Listen. I bought Pride edition Converse because they're cute.
They're rainbow. I like rainbow.
But like, I would have bought the not rainbow ones too.
The rainbow ones are just prettier.
Like, you still have to buy things.
We still live under capitalism. If I'm gonna buy something, I may as well buy the rainbow version.
I just like rainbows, man.
F_ckin sue me, I don't know.
Capitalism is still bad, rainbow capitalism is especially bad.
People trying to like get money off of queer people just for their own gain? That's gross.
We all hate that.
Stop acting like-
So I'm not going to enforce heterosexuality or cisnormativity on you.
I will let you make your own choices.
I will let you wear whatever you want, I will let you express yourself however you want.
If I had a child I will let them express themselves if they want.
That's what my parents did for me. They let me dress myself, do what I want.
I chose to wear fairy dresses and do makeup and wear jewellery and things because that's something that I love to do.
And that was fine!
I also really liked playing with trains and watching Bob the Builder.
Like, you can do both. Just do whatever you want.
Let your child do what they want. As long as they're not like hurting anyone.
And your son wearing a dress? Not hurting anyone.
He chose that.
He chose that. Like this says right here, right?
"How about you let me enjoy being a child and leave me alone."
Exactly. Let them wear what they want and do what they want and leave them alone.
Just- Just let them live, man.
Don't control how they express themselves. Let them do what they want.
You might end up with some really cool outfits. Like, when I was eight I went through a thing of wearing my pyjamas everywhere.
Like, there are photos of me in like a redwood forest in like boxer shorts and a Blue's Clues t-shirt.
Like I want- I just wore what I want because my parents were like-
"Just- It- You can dress yourself."
Turned out terribly half the time.
I sometimes wore just like seven skirts.
My sister went through a thing when she was six where she wore eight hair bands at a time.
And they were all glittery.
And then we went to get passport photos done and they told her she had to take them off because they had sparkles
And so she was crying in her passport photo because she wasn't allowed to wear her glittery hairband.
I also used to decorate with like plasters.
I thought plasters were really cool. So I just like put plaster- like-
Like the Wiggles plasters all over my body because I thought they looked cool.
And I would say "Look at me now! I turned out great. I have great self-expression."
But I don't think this is what the Right want for their children.
And then these men ask like, "Why do women want to date feminine men now? Why don't they want to date masculine men? Like, real men."
Because you smell like sh_t.
If hygiene is feminine...
Then that's why I'm gay.
I don't know what else to tell you, man.
Listen, it's so funny because they have two narratives.
It's either "Women only want to date femme men now. Men are becoming more feminine to appeal to women."
And also, "Women want a real man."
Which one is it? Why are you changing your mind every five seconds?
You're like "Women want a real man. Why do they only want femme women and not dating me, a real man?"
Like, maybe if you stopped having so much toxic masculinity we would like you more.
You literally, like, was so close to the point.
If being a real man means you don't change your boxes every day and you hate women, then no, I don't want to date a "real man".
So maybe like-
No.
Look at anything, ever.
Look at just every movie released in the past like...
Ever.
Look at every like, political party.
Just look at literally everything.
Straight white men are still predominant everywhere.
Except in like not white countries, but then straight cis men are very predominant there.
There's like three less than there were before.
It's gone from like 99% to like 92%.
I'm sorry that you losing like a fraction- a fraction of representation means you feel attacked.
But how do you think we feel having had like none for literally ever?
You're feeling a fraction of what we feel.
And you're complaining so much.
You're being louder than us for like? What?
F_ckin suck it up, man.
Get over it. Get over it. Get over it. Sit down.
That is all. I talked for way longer than I was meant to.
This was not meant to be as long as it was. I hope that you enjoyed this video.
I hope that you enjoyed watching me turn into a person as I drunk my coffee.
I'm gonna watch this back and be like, what the f_ck was I doing at the start of this video.
But like, I'm a person now. I've had my coffee.
I forgot to say remember to subscribe to my second channel that I've created!
I have a Q&A up there now with a bunch of questions that you guys ask me all the time.
I'm just gonna be posting like, whenever I get motivation or whenever I have a video idea that I want to post that I don't think will fit here.
It will go up on the second channel.
I am working on doing some like tier list videos, like playlist videos, just talking about stuff.
I think it'll be really fun.
So, if you want to see more of me- more of me being me-
Go subscribe there.
Also subscribe here if you enjoyed this video and you want to see more like this.
I upload like one to two, sometimes three times a week, so...
Subscribe! I love having you here! It's been real.
I've never said that before in my entire life.
I- Maybe I'm not a person yet.
It's been fun.
I've enjoyed this checkup on the Straights. I think we can decide once again they are still not okay and will need to be checked on again next month.
A massive thank you to Beducated for sponsoring this video.
I really loved working with you.
Don't forget to use my code KIWI and the link in the description to check it out for yourself.
A massive thank you to my kiwifruit and kiwibird channel members whose names are up on the screen right now.
I love and appreciate you so, so much. Thank you so much for joining.
If you would like to become a channel, you can click the top link in the description or a little blue join button.
You get my videos a day early and when I have merch again, you'll get 10% off of that.
And as a kiwi bird member you sometimes get little extra videos that don't make it into the main video.
And you also get my second channel videos a day early.
Don't forget to follow me on Instagram @TheQueerKiwi and Twitter @ThatQueerKiwi.
I hope that you enjoy the rest of your day.
Stay safe. Keep fighting. I love you
*Monsters and Fairies by Savannah is playing*