Hello! Seiiti Arata.
We have seen in previous videos that there are some limits on positive thinking and self-help
literature.
Today we take it a step further: we accept the negative side of life in order to have
more tranquility and fulfillment. The idea seems paradoxical, so let's start with something
strong and inevitable - death.
1. Memento mori
We can contemplate death as something that reminds us of the value of life. And we can
not miss this precious opportunity to live. The Latin phrase "memento mori" is a way to
remember that we will die one day and to use our lives to cultivate values such as detachment
and the search for improvement of our character.
In no way does this mean we'll be eagerly awaiting the death. That's not the idea. But
let's stop pretending that death does not exist or will never reach us. We fail to deny
death and to accept it as part of life.
Happiness is not to run away from negative emotions, but how to deal with them. We should
use our intelligence to choose the best ways to deal with difficult events and turbulent
emotions.
2. Stoicism
The Stoics could embrace negativity to achieve positivity. With the negative view, they imagined
the worse that could happen and when they were faced with some frustration, they realized
it was not so bad.
As we've already talked about stress here on our YouTube channel, stress is not caused
by external events of our environment or things that people around us do or do not do. Stress
comes from within. It is our interpretation of what happens.
See, for example, the case of an employee who is fired thinks that the greatest injustice
in the world has happened to him. They are afraid about how they will make ends meet
and even look on the faces of neighbors. But after a few years, they have a new job, sometimes
even better, you look back and say that getting fired from that place which was stagnant was
the best thing that happened. Many events rely mainly on our perspective.
3. Detachment
Another famous Stoic idea comes from Epictetus, who reminded us that it is not a very smart
idea to be attached to people or objects. Every object may break or get lost. And everyone
dies one day, or will change.
The proposed approach is to accept what we have now, in this moment. Without attachment
or expectation to continue in the future. I invite you to watch the video, Be in the
moment ( arata.se/hello05)
That said, it is normal to cling on to what we like. We suffer when things change. We
cry with the death of those we love. We have anxiety about the future.
Clinging to any situation, look, object or person leads to suffering, for nothing is
permanent. So it is that Buddhists are also not avoiding negativity or forcing a positive
thought. It is accepting life as it is that we can let go of the feelings and turbulent
emotions. We become observers, with serenity, tranquility. We gain consciousness.
4. Reframing and accept negative thinking
Just as we saw in the previous video about positive thinking (link arata.se/hello23),
we understand that there is no need to stifle negative thoughts. The more we focus our efforts
on negativity, the more we end up feeling it. Instead, let's reframe and learn to use
our thoughts wisely.
When we remember of Stoicism and Buddhism, this does not mean that you need to follow
a certain ancient philosophy or specific religion to be quiet. Just remember that we can only
use our intellect to go further in our projects in the face of difficulties. We live today
knowing that things can be different tomorrow. We can leave the search for motivation techniques
and self-help and get your hands dirty, making the best possible and also accepting the possibility
of failure.
In some cases, this confrontation of our fears can be better achieved through cognitive behavioral
therapy with qualified professionals. In others, it is a path of social activities, volunteering.
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