I can't. I can't. They -- They --
They didn't want me to operate.
They told me not to, and I pushed them.
I bullied them.
I told them I was the best.
You are.
Alex, I-I can't -- I can't tell them.
-Come on. -[ Breathing shakily ]
You lost your patient.
You tried to do all the right things,
but you lost your patient.
And you're blaming yourself, and --
and I can't make you not feel that.
But you have to tell them.
So just stand here, get it all out of your system,
and then pull yourself back together again.
Get it out.
[ Crying ]
[ Sobbing ]
Meredith: Grace under pressure.
One clumsy word, one careless gesture
can cause irreparable harm.
♪
H-How is she?
Is she okay?
Can I see her? [ Door closes ]
I'm Alex Karev. I'm the Chief.
Would you, uh, like to sit down?
I'm fine standing.
So, focus on facts.
What happened?
What was the problem, and what did you do?
Don't make it personal.
During surgery, we discovered
that Sabrina has a resistance to heparin,
so her blood -- W-What's that?
W-What's heparin?
Uh, it's a drug to prevent clotting.
Which didn't work for her.
So during surgery, her blood began to clot,
and that clogged the bypass machine,
which meant we had to change machines mid-surgery.
I-I don't understand.
So you had to stop?
Is she okay?
Answer questions directly.
This is not your loss.
This is not your pain.
Never make it about you.
Sabrina's condition was critical
before we ever got to the operating room.
I did everything that I could,
but, unfortunately,
I couldn't save her.
-[ Exhales sharply ] -She died.
Oh, Maggie...
Chris: No.
No, no, no, no. no.
[ Jeffrey Amor's "Too Much" plays ]
Sabi?
♪ Underneath it all ♪
No.
And if there's no silver lining, don't make one up.
Your job isn't to make the bad news sound better.
Chris, let's get you out of here. Get your hands off me!
Okay, now.
I didn't even want her to operate! ♪ Tell me it's not real ♪
Sabrina didn't!
♪ I know it is, but... ♪
You didn't listen!
♪ ...I'd rather just pretend ♪
Even though you're in pain, too...
♪ And feel your heartbeat next to mine ♪
[ Door slams ] ...even though you don't feel like a doctor...
Maggie, is -- is she cleaned up?
Can we see her? ♪ One last time ♪
Come on, Richard. Richard, come on. Get your brother.
We got to go help him call the rest of the family.
You're just another person, alone,
falling into the dark. 00:03:34.923,00:00:00.000 ♪