♪
Hi, and welcome to
streaming live across campus.
I'm your pal with the paws, Stanley Badger.
And that was the first ever spin of "Yng Luv"
by a band new brand-- brand new band,
The Plateaus.
I'm telling you, these guys are going to be huge!
And I'll tell you what else, these guys are here
for an exclusive first-time interview.
Recorded voice:
[boiinnng!]
[arrooooga!]
'Ello, 'ello, radio land!
Thanks for havin' us, Roger.
Oh, um, it's Badger.
Animated voice:
Slap these on.
So, Somerset, how long have you officially been a band?
Well, these t'ree grew up playin' together.
But when Morgan met me travelling overseas,
that's when the real band was born.
Uh huh, overseas, exotic.
And we just--sorry-- we just finished
recording "Yng Luv."
Oh, wow!
And--and what's it like being in a band?
I don't know, it's like anyt'ing.
[phone in background]
It's actually not-- it can't be like "anything."
It's not actually like--
We jam for hours and then Somerset usually shows up
with a finished song.
Whole wheat toast!
Look at the switchboard.
It's like the red-light district in here.
I'm getting flush. Let's go to a call.
Caller one. Oh, shoot!
Caller one--caller one, you're on the air.
Caller One:
and have a million sexy Irish babies.
Me first, bitch.
Caller two.
Caller Two:
That was amazing!
Will do, Caller Two. "Yng Luv" is in the air,
and on the air! Cripes!
We're setting records today.
♪
It's the moment you've been waiting for.
You guys ready for
[screaming]
Ladies and gentlemen,
[applause and cheers]
So the Plateaus have climbed to number one,
surpassing "Kiss Me, I'm Stylish."
Huge!
How huge is that for you?
Well, people on the streets stop me
and yell the lyrics.
It's humbling, they're such powerful lyrics.
Somerset, well, I'll go through this:
fashion shows, runway shows, gallery shows,
all kinds of shows, why get into music?
Well I wanted to change the landscape
of Top 40 Pop, you know?
Yeah, but to do that you need access.
I heard that you categorically denied all the record companies.
I've always controlled all aspects of me production.
These idiots in the so-called establishment--
Mm hmm.
Can have me art over me dead body.
You know, it's like anyt'ing.
Have anymore hits in you?
I've got a massive vault of unreleased material,
so, yeah, I "have any more hits in me."
Ladies and gentlemen,
I think we've just found a new heartthrob.
[chuckles] Watch out, Morgan!
Well actually, a fan proposed to me at one point,
so that was really humbling.
You'd have to be really, really brave
to be in power couple, is what I'm saying.
[laughs]
I've seen the way women and a bunch of men react to you.
Being in a relationship with him
and watching people just really hold on--
how does that make you feel though
when you see it, like?
Tremendous.
Well it's like anyt'ing. You know, it's like anyt'ing.
She--she--you know, she likes it.
You are--Trick, rhythm guitar,
the self-proclaimed religious one?
Can I have the mic?
Tryke, lead rhythm.
I was raised in a nunnery, never knew no parents.
No sex, no drugs, rock 'n' roll.
[applause]
Yay, welcome back to
Davian, do you have any eggs-perience?
Morgan and I shared the same egg in the womb.
We were womb-mates.
I'm part egg.
Well, it sounds like she got the majority of the egg there.
[laughter]
Do you rely on each other as twins to--
Davian and I do come from great stock.
Our grandmother's from Britain, uh, Westerchire--Westechire.
-The sauce. -Westchild.
Morgan told me I also have an accent.
You don't have an accent.
Yes I do, Morgan said.
Have you tried ketchup chips before?
No, I can't say that I have, but then again,
I don't do the chips things, really you know, it just flows.
-Liz, I've tried chips. -It just flows from there.
I'd say they're pretty salty.
That's the favour profile.
It's like--
When you look at me in the eyes it makes my heart go crazy.
How do you feel about the fact
that you've been catapulted into fame, not--
Oh, we're cat friendly, Mr. Strangleoctopus.
Oh, catapulted, Davian, catapulted.
Yeah, more like launched.
Are you okay?
No, just--
Don't hurt the kitty.
Thanks for coming by.
Hopefully, you can come back.
It was nice to meet you too, Liz.
Down at this end of the couch--no mic.
[egg smashing]
[audience laughs]
Amazing!
It's, you know, I don't cook much.
Can anyone at home hear me?
It's just like I'm a mime.
Yeah, we're live--
Help me, I'm trapped in the TV.
We're live.
♪
[thud of dart]
Man, are you hearing the way Somerset says,
"it's like anything" all the time?
He says it in every interview.
He's the biggest idiot on God's green earth!
[thud of dart]
Can't even write a much-needed second hit song.
Oh, hi, Fred.
Hi.
I'll be out of your hairs in a second.
Don't forget the rent is due.
Yeah, sorry. We've just been really busy.
Mr. Penners goes through so much laundry.
So much laundry.
Hey, you remember our elementary school bands?
We just reuse those hits.
Yeah, those were grade-A solid.
Grade six solids.
Yeah, I know they were.
Let's play, "Big Chooch."
Yeah.
♪ ♪
♪ Big Chooch coming down the tracks ♪
♪ Tracks are like Life is like a train ♪
♪ Big Chooch woman ♪
♪ ♪
(laughs) That's awesome!
Next up we got, oh--
♪ ♪
♪ Sleep baby sleep sleep Baby sleep! ♪
♪ thy mama started packing sheets ♪
♪ Thy papa was the murderer ♪
♪ White devil ran away from her ♪
♪ And you were left a burden here ♪
♪ So do not make a peep ♪
♪ Sleep baby sleep sleep Baby sleep! ♪
♪ ♪
Can't believe I wrote that in grade six.
That was good.
Next up, let's do--
"Davi, Davi."
♪ ♪
♪ Davi, your sis is the cutest miss ♪
♪ At your birthday party ♪
♪ Gimme your sis or you do not get your present from me! ♪
That's better than anything Somerset wrote
at that age. I bet, I'm sure.
I like that you always write songs about my sister.
No. What? No, I don't.
Look, riff on "More Gain" with me, dude.
♪ ♪
Yeah, yeah.
Do you need help, sis?
Oh my God, tune your guitar, Tryke.
Tune your accent, and please don't take
the Lord's name in vain.
Morgan:
God's your mom?
[laughs]
Oh, wow! Fashionable pants, Somerset.
Somerset: Yeah, t'anks. Hand-me-downs from yer man here.
That's right.
How do you like my old man's pants? A little snug?
No, not at all. They're great.
You should have buried him in these.
I'll show you what to bury if you know what I mean.
I don't know what you mean.
I mean you can bury your corpse in my coffin
any day you want.
Morgan, that's gross.
Ah, it's witty banter, Davian.
That's not witty banter.
I'll bet you it is witty banter,
or I have to do seven minutes in heaven with you.
I'm not going to do your bet.
Oh, I'll bet you I'll do your bets, in bed.
Uh, it's actually a bet between me and my brother, so--
Hey, better yet, no more bets.
Children, please!
First t'ings first, new songs to release to the world.
I know you guys have been waiting.
I have a riff and we need to use it.
These are my actual feelings in a major key.
Whoa, whoa!
Put the brakes on it there Tricycle.
Look, I just finished writing a bunch of new songs
for the big show on Friday.
Now this one, it's a little wild,
but you can bet your arse it'll be bigger than "Yng Luv."
And we'll listen to it right after this.
This one goes out to you-know-who.
Thank you.
Tryke, you ride that D major power cord.
D major? I know, I got it.
You, it's a G to a D.
G to a D.
Yeah, that's the--
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now, Davian, you follow me and come in hard, lad.
Yeah.
♪ ♪
I like this song a lot.
Oh, Heavenly Jesus, this rules!
♪ ♪
Hey cool song, Somerset, but I'd hold off a little
on the smell of burning flesh.
(laughs)
Babe?
Somerset? Somerset?
[sparking]
His face is coming out of his face!
Oh my God!
Ooh, this is so disgusting!
What do we do? Don't look at him!
Someone call an ambulance!
What do we do? What do we do? What do we do?
[screams]
All my pee is rushing to my brain!
[gurgle]
♪ ♪
Kids, maybe it's just my dad's pants,
but Somerset looks very dead.
♪ [eerie music]