- A porchetta is usually a whole loin
and belly section of a pig.
We thought "Why the heck has
"nobody ever done that with beef?"
So, we're gonna give it a shot today; see how it goes.
- We've never seen this done, ever.
So, we have no idea really what we're doing,
other than we're done a porchetta a bunch.
I tried to find videos of this online; couldn't find any.
We're really trying something new.
- Our rib-eye steaks are this section,
right here is our New York strip steaks,
underneath this fat is our tenderloin, two skirt steaks,
under that, a bavette and a flank steak.
This whole section is the rest of the ribs.
- So what we're gonna try and do by doing with beef,
is take that same fatty outer layer of beef,
wrap it around the rib-eye and the New York strip,
and what we think we're gonna get is a really nice,
tender outer fatty layer of short ribs,
and a really nice medium-rare beautiful rib-eye
and New York strip.
- Also worth mentioning is that a porchetta,
with pork, because pigs ae so much smaller,
is about half the size of this.
So that's why it's something that you can do.
Beef usually isn't cut this way,
so this is not the easiest thing to do.
- It's just gonna be getting the bones off
and getting this thing rolled up.
First thing to come off is gonna be all this fat.
If you listen closely, you can hear it.
We would also not normally cut like this,
this is just so you can see everything.
It is harder to do this way.
This is for all those YouTube commenters saying
that we don't know what we're doing.
- Yeah. Turns out, we don't.
(energetic music)
- We have rib-eye, short ribs,
two skirts, flank, bavette,
New York Strips, tenderloin, sirloin,
picanha, tri-tip,
entrana; there are 11 steaks going into this one roast.
- Woo-hoo!
- A lot of these steaks cook at different temperatures,
so how are we going to manage to cook them all properly?
We're gonna cook this kind of low and slow for a little bit,
because the main thing
is getting the short ribs to get tender.
The outer steaks, I think, like the flank,
the skirt, are gonna be more well-done, but that's okay.
Brent, would you like to address
the bith commenters out there?
The bith commenters of the world?
- Why don't you make like a tree,
and get the hell outta here?
Bones are out. Tidy this up.
Figure out how the hell we're gonna roll this.
(energetic music)
- [Ben] In an ideal world, you would want this
to just sit and salt for like a day.
- [Brent] We ain't go that kinda time.
- The best part about the salting process
is you will find every cut on your hands really quickly.
(energetic music)
- [Brent] The purpose of tying a roast is just that it
actually cooks evenly, so that everything is the same size.
- How long you think we're gonna need
timing-wise for this guy?
- I think we can do this in six hours.
- We're playing by Price is Right rules, right?
- Yep.
- And I like to make mine seven and a half.
- [Brent] Let's season the outside.
(Brent laughs excitedly)
- We're putting this in the smoker, but we ain't smoking it.
Just wanna keep it at a nice, low temperature.
I've never had a roast that
actually took two people to lift it up.
- I'm really curious what this actually weighs.
- I'm gonna say...
45 pounds.
60 pounds. 61 pounds.
- I'm really freaking stoked about this whole thing.
I think it's gonna be awesome.
- Let's do it.
(energetic music)
This is (bleep) ridiculous.
- Yep.
- Now we wait.
To the computers! To solitaire!
I really gotta get more sleep.
(whistling)
It's seven o'clock, so it's been seven hours in the smoker.
It's 130 degrees, so it's gonna be pretty much medium-rare.
It'll probably shoot up another five to ten degrees.
We have with us our good friend John Perry.
- Hey John Perry!
- Because someone had to carry the very cumbersome,
awkward, heavy board that we're gonna put this on,
and I didn't wanna do it.
Ready?
Oh, that's a heavy (bleep) roast.
(energetic music)
- Hansean!
- [Brent] We've definitely roasted it.
- [Ben] It cooked.
(Brent laughs)
- It should probably rest for about an hour.
- It tipped at 130.
- Which is little more than medium-rare,
but I think with the carry-over, I think medium
is actually a good place to be with this,
so that the short ribs actually got a little extra time,
so that they're a little bit more tender.
We're not worried about the steaks being tender.
They're gonna be amazing either way.
- A good marriage is about compromise, and I think the loin,
the short ribs, meeting in the middle...
- What else is a good marriage about?
- Okay, now I'm really excited about that.
I'm really excited about that.
- We're exercising a stupid amount of patience right now.
- Eat me Brent, eat me!
- I wanna eat you, I do!
Just do it!
- I do, buddy!
- Where do you think your favorite part's gonna be on this?
Call your shot, call your shot.
- I think the best part is gonna be
this part of the rib-eye, but I'm most excited
about all of the streaks from the drop loin
being wrapped around the New York strip,
because I've never eaten that before.
- I'm really curious how the short rib exterior
has been cooked, and how far along it got
compared to the rib-eye right in the middle.
- What if it sucks?
- I don't think it will.
- Great, so let's give it an hour?
- Let's give it an hour.
(energetic music)
We're ready to cut into this thing.
Brent, would you like to have the honors?
- Ben...
I would.
- [Ben] Oh (bleep) yeah, okay.
- [Brent] It worked. - [Ben] That worked.
That was the most expensive experiment that paid off
that we've ever done, congratulations.
- Thank God!
The short rib is all mid-well;
we wanted that to cook all the way through
so that all the fat would actually render,
and we wanted the rib-eye to stay medium-rare.
I think it looks (bleep) awesome.
- [Ben] Let's cut a slice.
- [Brent] This is super exciting, because at a steakhouse,
you get the prime rib.
The prime rib is the whole rib loin,
which is usually just this cut.
This is so much more; this actually shows the whole animal,
so I'm so excited to eat it.
- [Ben] Which do you want first? Do you want the--
- [Brent] I want the short rib.
- [Ben] The short rib?
- [Brent] Yeah.
- That's great.
- You usually have braised short rib,
which is tender and juicy and falls apart,
but tastes like red wine or rosemary.
This actually tastes like roast beef,
but well-done roast beef that's super-duper fatty.
It's amazing.
We should try the rib-eye now?
- Yeah, let's do that.
That was a (bleep) perfect prime rib.
That's a really perfect prime rib.
- Then it's just simple, perfect prime rib.
- What do you want from us?
We just make it perfect.
- [Brent] This is amazing. This is an amazing experience.
- Turns out it was a good idea.
- You can make a beef porchetta,
you just need a bigger name for it.
- Beefchetta?
Thank God it's not just the two of us eating this.
We invited a bunch of friends;
they're gonna start helping us.
- Let's do some damage.
(energetic music)
- For more episodes like this, click here.
- This is fun as hell.
- [Brent] So it looks pretty good...