- Okay, what would you like a rap about?
- [Audience Member] Bolshevik Revolution.
- So I heard revolution, but what was the first word?
- [Audience Member] Bolshevik.
The Bolshevik Revolution, lovely stuff.
Going to be very exciting
especially for our lady in the back
whose wearing a Karl Marx t-shirt
and was very put on the spot
when I was talking about that crack, cool so.
So Bolshevik Revolution,
let's go to suggestion number two.
Usually, I like try and do
some like banter and stuff with you
but you have the voice of someone
who did a dissertation on it.
(audience laughing)
And that teaches postgraduate studies
about the Bolshevik (gibberish) Revolution,
can't even say it right.
The Bolshevik Revolution.
If you don't understand what that was
it was where the group of people called the Bolsheviks
just turned around.
(audience giggling)
Hey!
(audience laughing)
(foghorn sounds)
It's the revolution pun, right.
(audience laughing)
People over here what would you like rap about?
- [Audience Member] Tinky Winky as a queer icon.
- Tinky Winky as a queer icon.
(audience laughing)
Fantastic, cool.
Tinky Winky as a queer icon.
The purple teletubby with the coat hanger area
and the little red hand bag.
(scattered laughing)
So far guys,
I feel like you both teach postgraduate studies
in that definitely is a dissertation
Tinky Winky as a queer icon.
Fucking liberal (indistinct) pseudo flex
(audience laughing)
What's happening?
They've come for Telly Tubbies? What?
(audience laughing)
Can't even say Noo-noo anymore.
It's bullshit.
(audience laughing)
I might not even rap.
This crowd work is really fun.
This is good.
(audience laughing)
Bolshevik Revolution, Tinky Winky as a queer icon.
Middle of the room, Hey.
Maybe a suggestion not middle of the road.
What's it gonna be?
- [Audience Member] A choir?
- The choir?
- [Audience Member] Yeah.
- Wait. The TV show done by that Gareth guy?
- [ Audience Member] Sure (laughing).
- No, no, no, that's not what you meant. If you say sure.
That's like, if you ask someone, do you want to have sex?
And they go, sure.
That is not (audience laughing)
that is not firm and enthusiastic consent.
(audience laughing)
How we raise our sons here.
(scattered laughing)
No, so the choir.
So it's gonna be not what I said.
So what do you...you mean the concept of a choir?
- [Audience Member] I said a choir.
- Oh, you said a choir?
Sorry, I mixed up my articles.
Okay, a choir.
Are you yourself in a choir?
- [Audience Member] Yes. - Yes.
What position do you sing?
[Audience Member] She's the director.
- [Audience Member] I'm a conductor, I conduct.
- You conduct?
Fuckin' that's pretty fuckin' bold
isn't it right?
(scattered laughing)
- Yeah? - [Audience Member] Yeah.
- Yeah.
- [Audience Member] We're about to see some rap?
- I mean I'm- wait, was that you said
you wanted to do some rap?
- [Audience Member] Yeah, I'm here to learn.
- Cool, really that would be so fuckin' embarrassing.
(audience laughing)
That's most Christian thing ever.
Just like, how will we connect with the youth?
(audience laughing)
We're gonna just be like
♪ Sing Hosannah ♪
Oh yeah the walking down from the mountain.
(audience laughing)
I am available on Sunday mornings though
so if you want to- (audience laughing)
Put me in.
Bolshevik Revolution.
Tinky Winky as a queer icon.
And the choir sure is fun, isn't it?
Right, so let's move to suggestion number four.
What do you got over here?
- [Audience Member] Is that us?
- What'd you say?
- [Audience Member] I was saying, "Is that us?
(audience laughing)
- Is that us? Yeah, yeah, we can include you
Have you got one?
- [Audience Member] Fat dogs.
- Fat dogs?
(audience laughing)
Is that, you just mean dogs that are fat?
You're not referencing the "Community" episode
where they have to-
Do people here not watch,
I would figure that my demographic
would watch "Community" and that we'll be aware
of the episode where Samuel Chan
like has to disguise the fact that-
some, yeah someone got eaten by a bear.
It is so complicated but they do a dance
called the fact dog in this.
It's not made up. It's not made-
Has no one watched "Community?"
(audience laughing)
It's such a fucking good show. All right.
Fat dogs, great.
(audience laughing)
I won't mention "Community" in the rap, whatever.
And then I guess this section here
now the final section so far,
just so you know what we've got,
we've got the Bolshevik Revolution,
Tinky Winky as a queer icon, a choir, fat dogs.
And I love the matter of fact way you said it,
it was just lovely.
Fat, fat dogs.
(audience laughing)
So this suggestion over here, what's it gonna be?
- [Audience Member] Supportive dads that try and rap.
- Supportive dads that try and rap?
(audience laughing)
Oh, is that, do you have a child?
- [Audience Member] No, I just mean about your dad.
- You just mean about my dad. Oh yeah.
Okay, so I mean the fact
that no one here watches "Community" makes me think
that no one here actually knows who the fuck I am
(audience laughing)
because I just attract internet nerds and losers.
And it's actually, my dad puts raps up on YouTube
about me, which is real nice.
And they're quite good actually.
The best line he ever did was
Chris Turner is the greatest freestyle rapper
that makes me the freestyle papper.
(audience laughing)
It's sweet isn't it?
It's a moment of genuine affection.
(audience laughing)
Okay.
Supportive dads who freestyle rap,
fat dog, the choir, Tinky Winky as a queer icon,
the Bolshevik revolution, sick.
I'm excited about these suggestions actually.
And I would not lie if I wasn't.
I would tell you so they were good.
(audience giggling)
That was a genuine expression of feeling an emotion.
I dunno why you're giggling.
(audience giggles)
(hip hop instrumental music plays)
Let's do it.
Take it away.
Oh, gosh I've accidentally put a filter on.
There we go.
Don't want any special effects on that.
Ah, okay.
I like to have a laugh as a four year old
in the past that would spy on the green grass.
Oh four rotund friends.
That's the Tellytubbies like again and again.
And the baby in the sun, Noo-noo the vacuum,
Tina when they come to Tubbies
'cause they would never have been Tina.
They move right to the kitchen.
Then they had the pink, blue, eye was itching
and I pink you feeling kind of pinky.
See the purple one coat hanger
that Tinky Winky
is over there.
The big one, please
there as in the yellow, red, and green Dipsy,
fuck Laa-Laa and Po, we don't need you.
Tinky Winky, yeah he needs to
get down to Brighton
because he's gonna provide a whole flow over there.
Telly Tubby pride.
Its like.
Yeah, you see me on TV,
I'm the LGBTUBBIE.
Tubby, fun little pun.
Tinky Winky, you know he's always
on the run for a new handbag.
Mincing around.
He's got a little Gucci one that he's found.
This a first.
That's kind of weird sick in the head.
Usually it's just a little flat one that is red.
He's a nice one
gay icon for sure.
The red on the Soviet flag,
that they adore.
But you got move back before you pick
Fuck all of the emperors,
the Bolsheviks, they coming.
Yeah. They've got the swords and the malice.
They're gonna invade that winter palace.
Killer of the Czar.
Killer of his family.
We need to free the proletariat,
we need to set them free.
And out of the ashes of the revolution
Karl Marx have that solution
saying, We need to rise up.
Soviet to know we're going be the empire.
Soviet.
Is it okay for me to put the words in your brain
right now, with the war in Ukraine?
I don't know,
but your brain, your neck, you're like, okay
I'll be going to check.
One thing that I admire the singing in the choir,
the bass goin' low
and sopranos goin' higher?
Like woooooo.
It's a Sunday
And it's so fun
What a fun way
to celebrate our love for Jesus Christ.
You might not be secular it's my advice.
You can gather round.
Let's go.
I want the baritone and the next hoe
and the old hoe too,
but you're the conductor.
Wouldn't be in time.
It would be fucked for sure.
If you weren't there, moving them on,
just waggling around like you use the baton
like start singing.
Bring up the noise.
You over here, tiny little boys.
We like to cut the balls off,
then it's a party.
You'll feel hearty, sing high, like castrati.
They used to do that in Italy
but I'm sure you don't
do it in Edinburgh or Scotland anymore
like off your balls.
Go hit the high notes,
but still it sounds so nice.
You get my vote.
And over here I'm feeling so nasty.
I see God, Jesus, his supportive dad.
And if Jesus was there on the cross,
God is like I've sat for my loss,
but don't worry.
I'll pull the nails right back.
Bring you back.
Watch this.
Do a nice God rap.
Oh. Yes, the best of the rappers
over there to your left it's Barabbas.
He was the thief there upon Golgotha.
I've got so many bars on offer.
If it's blasphemy,
it's really kind of frightening.
I'm genuinely worried I'll get struck by lightning.
I'm just saying that you're
the fuckin' real rap God.
I don't believe in him
but I think it does the job.
Anyway, rap God like a fat dog.
I like that you've got the own rhyme there in your God.
I'm right there on the street.
Having such fun.
See a Corgi. I adore these.
They need to run.
I'm getting all the pound dogs
I'll be telling these
go and chase a fuckin' bum and lose some fuckin' calories.
(audience clapping and cheering)
(foghorn sounds)