There are a lot of countries on earth—about 194 of them, assuming you really believe that
there’s some giant Pacific island full of muscular rats called “Australia.”
Most people would add one more—the partially-recognized Kosovo—to make it an even 195.
And if you’re a soyboy lib country like the Vatican, you can also add Palestine and
Taiwan to your list of recognized countries for a total of 197.
But, regardless of what number you pick, the number doesn’t change much anymore—there
are no new continents to genocide or Soviet Unions to break off from, so the founding
of a new country is pretty rare these days.
In the 21st century, we’ve only seen five new countries: East Timor split from Indonesia
in 2002, The State of Serbia and Montenegro became, well, Serbia and Montenegro in 2006,
Kosovo then turned around and declared independence from Serbia in 2008, and finally, the newest
country was founded about a decade ago: South Sudan in 2011.
Since then, the globe’s country count hasn’t budged an inch, and any map made after 2011
should be pretty much up to date… that is, until 2027, when we’ll get our new newest
country: Bougainville.
Now, before we get into the nitty-gritty of how Bougainville is going to become a country,
I should probably give you a rundown of what Bougainville actually is—that way, when
you’re hanging with your bros in 2027, chatting about what sick new countries just dropped,
you’ll already have all the deets.
Basically, Bougainville is a collection of islands that are technically part of Papua
New Guinea, and would’ve formerly been part of Australia if Australia wasn’t just a
giant patch of open ocean where England is building a Gundam in order to take back America.
Having lived under various colonial governments for the last 150 years, the 300,000 people
living in Bougainville have been trying to gain independence for quite a while—and
they’ve found some success.
After fighting a quick little ten-year civil war in the 1990s, Bougainville became autonomous,
allowing them to set up an independent government and make their own laws, but… that’s different
from being a country.
The best way to explain this arrangement is by looking at it through the lens of—you
guessed it—Boss Baby.
You see, Boss Baby makes his own rules and possesses the capacity for total self-governance,
but at the end of the day, his progress is ultimately obstructed by being subject to
the whims of a secondary, redundant governing body: his parents.
Yes, that’s right, the Boss Baby franchise is a complex analogy for the plight of semi-autonomous
governments.
In the case of Bougainville—the real-life Boss Baby—one of the driving reasons behind
their push to become a full-fledged country is this place: the Panguna mine, one of the
largest copper reserves in the world.
Despite the fact that this mine is within the autonomous territory of Bougainville,
Papua New Guinea still has claims over its valuable resources until Bougainville becomes
fully independent.
So, obviously, it’s in their best interest to become a country—but how does a not-country
become a country?
Well, it’s a little complicated.
There are a few different ways that countries can be defined, but, for the most part, there
are three general methods for deciding what counts: the first is the Declarative Theory,
which essentially states that to qualify as a full-fledged country, all you need is a
permanent population, a defined territory, a government, and the ability to enter into
relations with other countries.
The second is the Constitutive Theory, which states that anything can be a country as long
as it’s recognized as legitimate by at least one other country.
The last theory is the Half as Interesting Theory Of What Gets to Be a Country, which
states that Australia isn’t a country.
In practice, it’s kind of a mix of the first two, because for some reason the third never
caught on—a country is usually only thought of as legitimate if it fulfils both theories,
and is recognized by lots and lots of other countries.
But since there are no clear-cut rules, it can be a little messy, and some countries
can be more “real” than others.
France, for example, is recognized by every country on Earth, but Kosovo is only recognized
by about half of them—does that mean that Kosovo is real or not?
Well, it depends who you ask: Canada would say yes, Mexico would say no, and according
to my theory, I have no opinion.
So what about Bougainville?
Well, they already have a permanent population, a defined territory, a government, and the
ability to enter into relations with other countries.
On top of that, Papua New Guinea allowed them to hold a nearly-unanimous independence referendum
in 2019, meaning they’ll at least be recognized by the country they’re breaking off from
when they become independent.
Because of the lack of controversy here, they’ll almost certainly be recognized by many other
countries, too—China is already preparing to incorporate them into their global economic
strategy, and the US tweeted in support of the referendum, which has been our preferred
method of diplomacy since 2016.
Partial recognition is possible, but that really only tends to happen when there’s
a territorial dispute, like with Kosovo, Palestine, or Taiwan—with Bougainville, you’re not
really stepping on anyone’s toes by recognizing them.
Whether they’ll get into the UN is a whole other question, but the UN doesn’t technically
have the authority to recognize a country’s independence.
Now, if Bougainville has everything it takes to become a country, why won’t that happen
until 2027?
Well, the short answer is it’s kind of a long answer.
You see, the referendum was non-binding, meaning that Papua New Guinea still needs to sign
off on it—obviously it’s not in their best interest to lose 300,000 taxpayers and
60 billion dollars worth of copper, but it’s also not in their best interest to maybe-definitely
trigger another decade-long civil war.
So, in the end, they agreed to recognize Bougainville’s independence as long as they could kick the
can down the road for eight years, because, I don’t know, maybe Bougainville would change
their mind or someone would give Papua New Guinea nukes by then.
But even if independence were entirely on Bougainville’s terms, they couldn’t become
independent immediately—it took South Sudan, for example, about five months between their
referendum and actual independence.
That’s because there’s a lot that needs to happen ahead of time to make sure they
succeed; they’ll need to prepare a self-sustaining economy, they’ll need to begin establishing
relationships with other countries, and they’ll need to transition their government to national
model, probably with the assistance of so-called Australia and New Zealand.
But, assuming all of those things can happen, now’s the best time to start saving for
that new map you’ll need to buy in six years.
Starting a new country is hard, but you know what’s also hard?
Planning and shopping for meals––at least, I think it is.
I’m not super sure because for the past year and a half, I’ve been using Hello Fresh.
Each week, I select the meals I want from a few dozen options on their app, then the
next week, a box arrives at my door with the recipes and pre-proportioned ingredients for
each meal.
That way, there’s very little prep time and you get straight to cooking––it's
basically a faster, easier way to make healthy, home-cooked meals, rather than relying on
expensive takeout or unhealthy frozen food.
For example, this week I made the Cherry Balsamic Pork Chops which were absolutely delicious
and apparently quite healthy––just 620 calories per serving, even though they were
plenty filling.
If you’re in the same situation as I was when I started HelloFresh––too busy to
shop, plan, and cook every night, but recognizing how bad takeout is for your wallet and waistline––I’d
highly recommend you try HelloFresh.
Go to HelloFresh.com and use code HAI14 for up to 14 free meals and 3 free gifts, plus,
by signing up there, you’ll be helping support HAI while you’re at it.