[YMS] -So we're back to this white room, it's a thing that you should remember from the first movie...
Except the way they filmed this one, everything's way too overexposed.
Some of the things in the room you can barely make, out it's very difficult to see...
This never happened in the original film, the way they filmed this it was kind of surreal.
It can't POSSIBLY be because they used a different cinematographer than the first three films,
no this is the result of people with MORE talent than the first cinematographer, but their talent is in making it look mediocre,
because it's supposed to look worse because you're stupid.
Hi, I'm Lana Wazowski and this is a metaphor. It's bad, 'cause the Warner Brothers told me to do it again...
The editing in the movie is really, really BAAAAAD!
There's so many instances of this shitty low frame rate effect; is this supposed to be an homage to 90s movies that are not The Matrix?
Is this some sort of love letter tribute to Uva Bowl or something?
Hey, it's time for a fight scene! I just love when none of the punches have any impact, that's fun! Wow such entertainment, it's a good thing that all this is a metaphor!
Otherwise this might just be a BAD movie... 😒
Did they ever explain why Neo isn't dead?? Didn't he fuckin' die?!
What are we doing here?!
Why is her name Bugs Bunny!?
IT'S CAUSE IT'S WARNER BROTHERS, I GUESS?!
IS "SHE" WARNER BROTHERS?!
Like, she goes to tell Neo, like "Yo let's get it started!" and that's like how Warner Brother told the Wozzowski to get it started!
That... makes... movie... good... now...
Then Neo is told that there's machines that like him and their names are Sha Bay Bay and Octoclease...
[Clip] -That's Shabebe, that's Octoclese...
[YMS] -Sha Bay Bay, and Octoclese...
WHAAAAAT
THE FUUUUUUCK!
Uh, apparently this movie is set 60 years after the third Matrix one...
So we see Niobe and the makeup looks AWFUL! There are films with lower budgets than this, that have much more amazing makeup, what the fuck?!
So why did everybody age 60 years? But Neo and Trinity only age 20 years?
Did they explain this? Did I just not listen? Maybe I didn't listen, it's very difficult...
Does this have to do with their digital self-image? Because they're not in the matrix right now...
This is the not matrix, so that shouldn't happen here, right?
If you didn't want to age the main characters by 60 years, then why did you create the story, so that it was 60 years after the other movies?!
Why isn't it just set 20 years later?! You wouldn't have to put anybody in shitty old age makeup! You would just have them their normal faces!!
Why did she do this?!
If someone understands "why" then please post a comment, because I'm very curious, even though I don't expect it to make any sense, thank you.
All right so this is- we're coming up to like 70 minutes through the movie and nothing's happened...
We've had some bad acting, some bad cinematography, some bad music, some bad fight choreography, some bad exposition...
But it's okay because it's a metaphor for how movies are bad... don't watch them...
Uh, we learned that you can't... use a phone... anymore... for- to get out of the matrix, you use a mirror instead......
Which... I mean, yeah okay, nobody uses landlines anymore, but you can have whatever set inside of the matrix, to whatever "time period" you want...
As evidenced by you ALREADY DOING that...
Because "outside" of the matrix you're saying that things have aged 60 years; but when we saw Neo as the game dev, they were like, "Wow that was a cool game you made 20 years ago."
So clearly it can be whatever time period you want to tell the story in da matrix...
You chose to do a story where nobody uses landlines. Then you spent time in your movie addressing the issue that you created...
Very cool! Thank you! 😒
So much of this movie feels like it was made for "straight to DVD."
If you don't love the sequels from the original trilogy, then just watch this movie, because it might give you some newfound appreciation for those...
The first three Matrix movies are particularly groundbreaking, because they're not even movies, they're actually just clips from a video game.
That's way more impressive than I thought, thank you Da Matrix: Let's Get it Started,
for giving, making it better...
Okay I thought I was done complaining about the whole video game thing, but uh seriously,
if we're being told that the clips from the movies, that we remember, are actually just clips from a video game;
but also that these same things happened within the universe of this film,
does that mean that canonically the first three Matrix movies were not actually what happened, but were just clips from the video game?
Like, the same events happened, but we didn't actually see the "real" version?
If the "Neo story" still happened independently from the video game and you're telling us that these clips are the video game,
then that means that what we saw, was the video game and not the real story that happened...
So you retconned the first three movies in a way, so that we're not watching the story anymore; we're just watching clips from the video game,
we're just watching this old homeless Neo's "interpretation" of the events that took place...
Awesome very cool what a great addition to your story, I'm glad you made the universe work better, thanks...😒
Uh, Neil Patrick Harris can slow down time and threaten uh, the Neo and Trinities...
The entire sequence looks very cringe and dated: the effects look very bad.
Is there any reason why there's two villains in this movie, anyway?
Like, Neil Patrick Harris could have just played Cringe Smith also, right?
It could have just been combined into one and I mean, Neil Patrick Harris is the better actor, anyway... so...
And then out of nowhere, the only visually cool and impressive looking thing happens in the entire movie:
I don't know, the apple shot, it's pretty interesting it looks well done.
It's like they used real slow motion footage of an apple being shot, as- for reference, you know?
It's like they thought about what they wanted to do and they put effort into making it look the way they wanted it to.
So, if your argument is that things in this movie look bad because they're supposed to look bad, then this moment right here kind of doesn't fit the argument...
It's like they were trying throughout, but were mostly incompetent... hmmm suspicious...
So, Trinity gets a premonition: she's like, "Yo I'm havin- I had a dream and the bad thing happened to you..."
'Cause you know, there were premonitions about one of them dying in the other movies, but in this film the editing is so janky.
The way this film is cut, feels like they were asked to make the run time shorter, but didn't want to cut any dialogue or scenes from the film,
so they just cut all the breathing room from the shots and made the pacing and flow so much worse...
[Clip] -In the dream you were surrounded by police, then they started chasing us. -Us...
-You were on my bike with me.
[YMS] You're not giving us any time to absorb anything!
It's so clunky and awkward...
Oh wow! What a surprise, the editor that was consistently working on the first three films didn't work on this one...
Just like the cinematographer and the composer. Wow crazy! You can't even tell, these things just don't even matter, a baby can do it...
Hi I'm Lana Wazowski and for Da Matrix: Let's Get it Started, we hired only babies.
This is a metaphor, for everybody being a baby. I'm baby we are all babies...
Oh no, they're trying to stop Neo and Trinity from holding hands, because true love or something...
Thank you for playing clips of every time they kissed and hugged in the other movie- I mean vid- the video games...
I really needed that, it's... I wouldn't have known that they were in love before, if that didn't happen it makes it more significant, thank you...😒
[Clip] -And suppose you can still fly?
[Neo] -Yeah, that's not happening...
[YMS] -Why not, though?
Then Trinity saves the day, because she found a motorcycle when she was off screen for, like half a second and shows up out of nowhere instantly....
And now Neo uses his "Jesus powers" on the back of the motorcycle its's ve- it's very cool and not very lame, excuse me...
[Clip] -Turning bots into bombs!
[YMS] -That's not what a bomb is, that's just a falling body, but okay... is it a metaphor for them not to know what a BOMB is?
Like this movie being a box office bomb or something? I don't know...
There's a bunch of times where Neo stops bullets with his Jesus powers...
Uh, it happens many times in the movie... it happens way too many times in the movie, actually...
It doesn't have any appeal or impact like the first films, he's just doing it every 30 seconds basically, very cool, Lana...
Oh now Trinity can fly, very cool... Was she the one the whole time? I don't know...
Maybe in the real version of events that wasn't the video game, she was actually the Neo and Neo wasn't, and then he just rewrote things because he's a sexist piece of shit.
But yeah, it's girl power time, uh... that's the time of the movie, it's girl power time.
And we've decided that even though the movie is almost over, this is what the whole rest of the movie is going to be,
it's as if it was a last minute decision or something, because it didn't really give off these vibes throughout the whole first 90% of the movie, but okay...
So she kills Neil Patrick Harris a bunch of times and he keeps getting back up and he's like, "I'm gonna say something sexist" and then she's like, "No you're not, I'm gonna kill you again."
[Clip] -If you hated the name so much why did you heal like a good little bitch so long?
can't you control her
[YMS] -Smash that patriarchy, SMASH that patriarchy, SMASH that patriarchy...
She did it, she smashed the patriarchy and this is what the whole movie was about the whole time,
I- maybe... I don't know...
REALLY JUST SEEMS LIKE IT CAME OUT OF NO WHERE AND WAS THROWN IN AT THE END OF THE MOVIE! BUT WHATEVER! OKAY!
Then they both fly away but she's the main character and she wins.
Hi, I'm Lana Wazowski and for the end credits of this film, we're going to play the same song as the end credits from the first film? But it's a girl cover, because we smashed the patriarchy this time...
Perhaps this is a metaphor for a trans thing... like, psych! I was a girl the whole time...
What's up doc, I would like to transition now, let's get it started...
So when the movie is over and the credits are playing, you'd think that the cringe would be over, but it keeps going!
They have a post-credits scene, which is obviously just unused footage from the part where they're brainstorming about ideas for the next Matrix game.
[Clip] -What we need is a series of videos that we call the "cat tricks."
[YMS] -So in the end, what did we learn?
We are all babies...
I'm baby, you're a baby...
I was expecting this movie to be bad, but at the same time, I was still expecting some of the basics to be covered for making a Matrix film...
You know, the bare minimum, maybe?
But wow, did they ever impress me by doing, NOT... THAT...
They really subverted my expectations...
If you come across someone who asks "Is there a new Matrix movie?"
Your answer should be "no."
Apparently, Warner Brothers were going to make this movie whether the Wazowskis were a part of it or not,
So uh... Lana, next time just fuckin' let somebody else do it, Jesus!
You sure prevented a real blunder here, heuk!
This is a bunch of clunky, boring, bad, nostalgia bait, that some people are giving a free pass, because it's meta I guess...
Legit, I am trying to understand here...
Please leave a comment to help me understand. Give me both pills, thank you!
I gotta go... bye bye!
Oh wait, I almost forgot, uh, two out of ten!
That's it! Thank you. Buh Bye.
[Adum] -What, did you want a food in the kit-
WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT SO LATE?!
WE WERE ASKING YOU THE ENTIRE TIME!!
[Scoot] -Ooooooooooooooo [Adum] -WE WERE ASKING YOU THAT THE ENTIRE TIME!
[Scoot] -Oooooooooooooooooo [Adum] -WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT AS SOON AS I'M LEAVING?!
[Scoot] -What a world! What a world! [Adum] -HOLY SHIT
[Adum] -I'm gonna... quit the game, sorry [Scoot] -Oh, I'm melting...
so
you