The Simpsons at its core is a show about a dysfunctional family designed to disrupt the
typical family sitcom plots. So, this means that The Simpsons and their many friends
have committed an abundance of crimes during the long runtime of the show. But,
because of its status quo nature, punishments usually only last one episode.
But, what if these characters really had to answer for their crimes?
I’m Brad with WickedBinge and today,
we’re Sentencing The Simpsons Characters For Their Crimes. Court is in session.
Now, like our other series-based installments, we;re going to be tackling characters for their
crimes committed in specific episodes and situations, as that opens the door to a
more nuanced discussion of specific crimes and events. But occasionally,
we’ll be looking at a couple overarching crimes seen throughout the entire show.
So, with that said… Let’s bring our first defendant in and let justice begin.
We’ll be punishing the patriarch first, starting with Homer Simpson from the Season 20 episode
Mypods and Boomsticks. However, in the case of this episode, he goes into some really unique
plot points. Firstly, the entire plot of the episode is very distinctly about Homer
committing a variety of hate crimes towards a muslim family from Jordan. Amongst these crimes
are of course his stalking of Amid and Mina in attempts to prove that they’re terrorists.
He is sort of forced into a Conspiracy by Moe and Lenny to try and kill the family,
which later results in him actively attempting it. He bakes a poisoned cake and tries to force
the family to eat it… So either they cut into a cake that looks like the american
flag and he can call them terrorists or they don’t and he can call them terrorists. It’s
also heavily implied that he would have had them eat the cake and this would for all intents and
purposes be considered Attempted Murder. Homer’s intentions stem from propaganda,
which he easily buys into because of the fact that… he’s a man of Homer Simpson’s intelligence.
Then there’s the part where Homer takes the explosives, which were originally placed to
properly and safely destroy the old Springfield Mall and throws it onto the Springfield Bridge.
Homer’s punishment here would likely be very, very severe. For attempted murder
and harassment, as well as reckless endangerment and stealing explosives,
Homer would receive 25 years in prison with no parole.
CRIMES: Attempted Murder, Hate Crimes, Stealing Explosives, Reckless Endangerment
PUNISHMENT: 25 Years in prison without parole
Moving from husband to wife we have Marge Simpson in the episode The Strong Arms of
the Ma from Season 14. This episode depicts the events of Marge getting mugged and then
deciding to bulk up due to having developed Agoraphobia. After she starts working out
she starts to utilize her strength in a variety of ways, starting off with
Assault and Battery. First by confronting her original mugger and beating him silly. .
At the very end of the episode, she continues her reign of assault by starting a massive Bar
Fight that includes slamming a jukebox over Disco Stu’s head. In fact she assaults and nearly kills
over a dozen people during this fight. Plus this starts with a Death Threat, because she
threatens to kill Moe and then breaks a jar with intent to stab him in the throat.
There’s also the illegal steroid use.
And then… There’s the fact that Marge actually violates Homer and forces herself onto him.
That’s right, he very clearly and concisely tells her that he wasn’t
interested in “snuggling” with her but she tells him that she quote “wasn’t asking”.
Which was certainly a very darkside of Marge we’ve never seen before.
Due to the severity of her multiple crimes, Marge gets 18 years in prison without parole.
CRIMES: R*pe, Threats, Multiple Assaults, Illegal Steroids
Note To Editor/Assistant - Type the word “rape” as “r*pe” so we
avoid video being restricted on YouTube. PUNISHMENT: 18 Years in prison without parole
The last Simpson on our list is Bart Simpson in the Season 22 episode Homer the Father.
But before we get to the actual heinous crimes of Bart in this episode we need
to talk about El Barto and his consistent crimes throughout the series. The crimes he
commits throughout the series are actually quite light, usually just Disturbing the
Peace with his multiple pranks, targeted harassment with his prank calls to Moe and
of course his El Barto graffiti. None of these are the most notable crimes,
but considering how pervasive they are throughout the series it makes sense that
he would be criminally liable for these. Now most of these are because he’s acting out and some of
those episodes even tackle that because of the fact that he’s still young and wants attention.
However, that doesn’t justify what he does in this episode specifically. Because Homer has started
watching 80’s sitcoms he’s picked up on those parenting techniques, he convinces
Bart to study for a test under the assumption that he’ll get the dirt bike that he wants.
When he doesn’t get what he wants he decides the best way to get back at his
father is to attempt to commit treason against the country by selling nuclear
secrets to the country of China. Typically adolescent shenanigans.
This is not only extremely stupid but extremely destructive as this is a massive federal crime,
and the only reason it doesn’t work is because of Homer’s own stupidity. No matter how you slice it,
Bart has committed a massive crime here and his punishment may be lighter due to his age,
but it would likely still be at least 20 years in federal prison due to the
severity of these crimes. Considering in most treason cases, the punishment would be death,
this is actually a pretty light punishment all things considered.
CRIMES: Attempted Treason, Selling Nuclear Secrets PUNISHMENT: 20 Years in federal prison
Speaking of treason, up next we have Mr. Burns in The Computer Wore Menace Shoes
from Season 12. Mr. Burns doesn’t have a lot of screen time in this episode but considering the
depths of the crime commited, it’s worth pointing out at the very least. Now Burns
could be considered a career criminal by a lot of people, as most of the crimes he commits are
hard to pin on him on a good day. But, upon watching other episodes, a couple of crimes
shine through we do need to bring up. Firstly, without fail he consistently abuses his employees,
whether that be by forcing them to spin the wheel that turns the cupcakes or selling all their
clothes while they shower. Then of course is the Pollution that we talkied about in the previous
video, it’s a major part of most Mr. Burns episodes except strangely this one, and due to it
being so prevalent it needs to be mentioned here. However, in this episode specifically, he
commits the heinous crime of treason and is even arrested for it by the FBI. This is because he
starts selling Plutonium to terrorists, which obviously is used to create nuclear arms and
he seems to do it just because he can. Because there are no other reasons we can possibly find
for him to do these things, of course beyond the money he would obviously get. Because of
his treasonous actions, it becomes obvious that his punishment would likely be an execution,
although it’s hard to say what would kill this man. This is the usual punishment for treason and
considering everything else he’s done, it makes sense for this to be the end of Montgomery Burns.
Now, before we get to the last two characters on today’s docket… If you’re digging these
sentencing videos for animated characters here on WickedBinge - consider subscribing to our
new CinemaSentencing channel, where we sentence characters from live action movies and TV shows.
CRIMES: Pollution, Attempted Treason,
Employee Abuse PUNISHMENT: Execution
Up next on our list is Moe Syzlak in the classic Season 7 episode Radioactive Man. Now Moe doesn’t
appear for very long in this episode, but he’s on the list not only for the heinous
crime he commits here but also because he is one of the few characters with a consistent
crime to talk about. That of course being his very detailed and intense Death Threats,
both to Bart whenever he is prank called but also to random bar patrons when he brandishes
his shotgun for little to no reason. However in this episode specifically we learn of his past
and his most gruesome crime, the murder of the original Alfalfa. Due to this orphan owned by the
studio supposedly stealing his joke he results in assaulting and then murdering this child.
Moe does this simply because he is angry with no real reasoning behind it. Though,
he would get some leeway from the fact that he too was a child when
it occurred. So Moe receives 20 years in prison with a potential chance at parole.
CRIMES: Death Threats, Assault, Child Murder PUNISHMENT: Thirty Years in prison with parole
Moving on to the usual suspects, we have Sideshow Bob in Season 3’s classic Black Widower. Bob is
one of those characters that pops up on these lists time and time again for the multitude
of crimes he’s committed, but unlike others he doesn’t have a consistent crime to talk about,
because even his most famous criminal action, which is threatening Bart Simpson,
doesn’t consistently happen until after this episode. In this iconic episode,
Bob intends to marry Selma and murder her for her money. So of course he’d be on the
line for Conspiracy to commit murder, which is of course a crime in it’s own respect,
but considering he gets quite close, that’s also attempted murder on it’s own. It gets to
the point that he assaults the employee who gave them their room considering he wanted
a room with a fireplace, this includes hitting him multiple times with a rolled up newspaper.
His Attempted Murder was quite well planned but considering that Bart was capable of deducing it,
it luckily never grows to the point of full murder, but it does get to the point of Arson
and Destruction of Property when he blows up the room. This lands Bob a sentence of
30 years in prison without the possibility of parole because it’s a pretty cut and dry case.
But let us know in the comment section if you agree with our sentences. And tell us
who we should cover next. Remember to hit that notification bell and
check out our CinemaSentencing channel as well. But most importantly, stay wicked.