- Have you ever looked at a dog and thought, what do you even do?
- Let's talk about that.
♪ (theme music) ♪
- Good Mythical Morning! - Before we get started we wanna let you
know that we have pre-released our FOURTH sketch in Sketchtober over on vessel.com/rhettandlink
It's called: The Puzzle and it's live right now. - Mythical Beasts, over the course of
20,000 years of artificial selection, humans have produced upwards of 400
different breeds of dogs. That's pretty amazing. And, some of those dogs were
bred for amazingly specific tasks. Now that I have a dog that obviously means
that you are in the market... - Oh! Oh, really?
- ...so today I want to introduce to you and to you, some dogs who were bred to do
interesting stuff to help you make a decision, Rhett.
- Alright. - You are gonna get a dog...
- I am. - ...now that I've got Jade, right?
- I was planning on it before but I wanna, well, leave it to the people.
- It's time to play:
This Dog Does WHAT?
Okay, Rhett. I'm going to show you a picture of a dog breed and I'm gonna
give you some... - Do I have to pick one of these dogs
as my dog breed? Or is this just to help me?
- This is just to help you. - I don't want to be committed to anything right now.
- Also to help you I'm giving you four multiple choice answers and I'm giving
you three lifelines. One of them is Bury Them Answer Bones, where I remove
two wrong answers. The other one is called Old Dog New Hints where I give you a hint
in a dog voice... - Oh.
- And then the last one is What is it Boy? What is it Boy? Where an actual dog is
going to give you what he thinks is the right answer.
- An actual dog? - First up, we have...
- Where is he? - A big and wrinkly Neapolitan Mastiff
was historically bred to fight alongside the Romans and do what? A. Flank advancing
armies and take down enemy archers by biting them in the legs and groin, B. Act as
guard dogs while the Romans slept to warn them of impending attacks in the dead of
night, C. Wear body armor and blades to run under enemy horses and disembowel
them, or D. be so dosh garn... (laughter)
...dosh garn, be so gosh darn cute that the enemy stopped to give him some belly rubs because
(baby voice) isn't he such a good boy? Yes he is such a good boy!
- You don't talk to your dog like that, do ya?
- Of course not. No baby talk. - Well I wanna say that it has something
to do with all the extra skin. Like, it was for skin grafts for wounded soldiers.
What is that patch of dog hair on your knee? I was in an accident.
(laughter) - Hmm. But it doesn't have anything to do with all
the extra skin. Why is the extra skin, why the extra skin, boy? Huh?
- It's a picture. He can't talk to you. - Uh, I think that they are pretty intimidating
and they probably have a very loud bark just based on what they look like. So I
would just say B. Guard dogs while they slept to warn of impending attacks.
- No, Rhett. The answer is C. They wear body armor and disembowel the undersides of
horses. Can you believe that? - Really? I don't believe that ever happened.
That was just a theory. - Now, you missed that one and I didn't
tell you what's at stake. So now, you're already behind but I'm saying if you
get four out of the next six right, you won't have to go to the doghouse and be
shocked with this dog shock collar. Instead I will be.
- I don't want to be, why would I want to be shocked with a dog collar?
- Well, if you lose. - But, then you do it. Okay, alright.
- So you gotta get four out of the next six right.
- Oh, I don't know. I don't wanna get shocked. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it so much.
- The Vernepator Cur...I'm sure I'm saying that right, was an essential part of every
large kitchen in Britain in the 16th Century and exclusively performed what task?
A. Testing the food for poison before it was served to an important guest
B. Running in a wheel that turned a roasting spit in kitchen fireplaces
- What? - C. Keeping the kitchen free of rodents
and cleaning up discarded food scraps, or D. Hiding under the chef's hat and telling
him how to cook in some weird dog version of the movie Ratatouille.
- Hmm. Probably not D. Ugh, okay, uh... I don't wanna use a lifeline yet. Because
I feel like the roasting thing makes no sense, they're not gonna test a dog for
poisoned food because it may not kill a human, it has to be C. that this is a
rodent and cleaning up dog. C. - No, it is B.
- No! But it can't be true! - They ran in a wheel that turned a
roasting spit, and before they used the dogs... - Get a child to do that!
- ...they got children to do it behind wet bales of hay where they wouldn't get too hot.
- Oh. - This dog is sadly extinct now, because
they have like electric rotisseries, I guess they won't care.
(crew laughter) - They can't just be a pet now?
- I know, it's sad. - He has to be used as a rotisserie dog?
- Should I just say you need to get three out of the next five right? I don't wanna
shock you. But, then I'm gonna get shocked. - You said it! Three out of the next five, Link!
- If you get three then we'll have to both be shocked. But if you get four, only I
have to be shocked. - Okay. Alright.
- Hailing from Africa and sporting a distinguishing ridge running down its spine
as you can see, the Rhodesian Ridgeback was originally bred for what purpose? In Africa.
A. To hunt lions on the open plain B. To flush out hippos lurking below the
water's surface, C. To herd elephants as hyena lookalikes, or D. To relay messages
to other dogs, letting them know when Cruella D'evil is on her way to
steal some puppies for a luxurious spotted fur coat. It happened.
It was in a movie. It could happen again. - Hmm. This is an ideal dog. It's like,
this is a dog. If I had to get a dog tattooed on my body, this would be the one.
- And they'd be like, what's up with that dog's back?
- No, this is the ideal dog. - That ridge is just hair by the way,
that's not his spine. That's not a hint. - Ooh gosh. This is so tough. Uh, I feel
like I've got to get some help at this point. I would like Old Dog, New Hints.
- Alright, so that's me in dog version giving you a hint. Here it is.
(in dog voice) Rifff Rarf Rarrr! (crew laughter)
That's how dogs talk. - Riff Raff Ruff?
- (in dog voice) Riff Raff Rahhhh (crew laughter)
That's your hint. - Did you say Mustafa? A! Hunting lions
on the open plain! - Mufasa is what I said but that is correct.
That's a lion hunting dog, pretty awesome. With a mohawk on its back.
- I just don't think that dog has ever successfully hunted a lion.
I just can't believe they have. - Oh they, all the time brother.
- Find 'em and kill 'em? - All the time.
The Norwegian Lundehund is a six-toed dog and was bred to do what for their masters?
A. Locate marble and limestone deposits to be used in construction projects
- Hmm. That's cute. - B. Track foxes by speedily traversing
across mud bogs and swampy areas, C. Hunt for Puffins in their inaccessible
nesting locations on cliffs and in caves, or D. Leave a trail of six-toed pawprints
to their owners' house so the Baha Men would know where to go when it's time to
let the dogs out. - Saw the dogs out.
- Who? Who? Who? - First of all, not to be mean but I don't like
dogs with this whole tail that goes up thing. (crew laughter)
I don't like to see, I don't like to see the dog butthole. I, in life, I try not to
look at dog buttholes. And every time.. - That one it's like beggin' to be seen.
- ...it's like
I don't wanna see the butthole. (laughter)
But, why would an exposed butthole be helpful? Let's see here.
- And six toes. - Mhmm. Uh, how does? It might help with
limestone deposits, I don't know. Uh, that's such a crazy, I think this guy would
chase foxes. - I made that one up. Nope.
- Gosh! - They hunt for Puffins in inaccessible
nesting locations, dude. - I suck at this dog stuff.
- 'Cause they got all that stability. You've only gotten one right. You gotta
get the next three right in order to out and out not be shocked.
- Okay. Gosh. - This shaggy breed, Lagotto Romagnolo,
was originally bred as water retrievers but have also been used to search for what?
A. Beavers for their anal glands, which are used in perfumes, medicines and food
as we all know, B. Potable water sources on remote hunting trips, C. Buried truffles
for exquisite dining, or D. Rock bottom prices (laughs) at the local Wal-Mart
- I mean, get rid of two of these answers. Bury some answer bones.
- Alright. I'm burying B and D. - B and D.
- So they either search for beaver glands or truffles. I thought you knew this one.
That's a hint. - Well, I know that pigs search for truffles
but I have heard that dogs are now being used for truffles. So, I'm gonna assume
that this looks like a truffle dog. Looks like he's got some truffle sauce
there on his back. Uh, C. Truffles. - That's it, man.
- Yay! - That's a truffle finding dog! Alright, let's
blaze through these. The Portuguese Water Dog was bred originally by fishermen
to dive off boats and do what? A. Swim to the next boat delivering fishermen letters
B. Chew and remove barnacles off the side of the ships to reduce drag, C. Attract
large fishing game by acting as living bait Or D. Do some wicked sweet canine
canin-balls (laughs) canine-balls. - Gosh.
(laughter) - That would impress the ladies. I didn't
even try to re-say that one correct. - Wow.
- Because (enunciating) Canine Balls... (crew laughter)
- ...is an awesome thing. I do it at the pool all the time!
- Well, he's got a, he's got a haircut designed to show off his canine balls.
- Yeah, okay. (crew laughter)
- Okay. Okay. Okay. - What is up with that haircut? Does that
make you live bait? - It's top heavy. He's front heavy.
- Chewing barnacles off the sides of ships? I mean, it's such a crazy thing I'm gonna
say that's what it is. It's so stupid and every answer has been so stupid.
- (laughing) No, they deliver fishermen letters from boat to boat. You're gonna
get shocked. If you want me to get shocked with you...
- I gotta get it right. - ...you gotta get this last one right.
- Okay. - The Xoloitzcuintli, better known as
a Mexican Hairless Dog, is sacred to the Aztecs because A. They would guide the
soul of their dead masters safely through the underworld, B. They were originally
bred in the fabled golden city of El Dorado C. They do not carry fleas and associated
furborne disease, or D. They make their masters more comfortable about their
male pattern baldness. - (fake laughter)
- 'Cause they're bald. - Well I'd like to Ask a Dog.
- Let's ask a dog! It's never too late to ask a dog.
- This is the dog? - This is John Lennon dressed as a dog I think.
(crew laughter) - Just imagine.
- Alright, what is it, dog? - Um, I think...
- How's it smell in there by the way?
- (sniffs) Rubbery, very rubbery. - What do you know about dogs, Chase?
- Well, I am also a Mexican dog, I'm a Chase-hua-hua, so...
- Okay. - ...I think I would know this stuff pretty well.
- Alright. - I think it's the uh, A. The soul to the
underworld. That sounds cool. - Okay.
- It sounds cool. That's his rationale. - Well, I'm gonna agree with him because
this is the kind of dog that you feel like it's painted in, you know, pyramids.
- Crypts? - Maybe like all its hair burned off.
- Like, with the ears and the stuff? - Aztec pyramids?
- Aztec pyramids. Yes. Thank you, dog! - Final answer?
- Final answer. - Final answer?
- Yes. I'm not gonna let you mind game me. - (laughing) Ha, that is correct!
- Thanks Chase-hua-hua! - Alright! So you're gonna have to be shocked but
you're not gonna be shocked alone. Let us know in the comments what is your favorite
dog breed. And don't say Chase-hua-hua. I don't even know how to spell that. Let's
not try to figure it out. - Thanks for liking, commenting and subscribing!
- You know what time it is.
- "Hello. I'm Paco from Spain. And this is Zach. And it's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality."
- Remember to check out the pre-released Puzzle sketch over at vessel.com/rhettandlink
- And click through to Good Mythical More where we're both gonna be shocked with
this dog collar shocking device. - Rhett tries to rob Link, but in a
very polite way. - Hey, bud.
- Yo. - I like that shirt.
- Who, who're you? - Got anything...got anything in that pocket?
- No. No, no. Don't. - What about back here?
- What? No. There's no pocket back there. - Hey, hey, hey...just, just give, hey,
give me a little lean forward. - Why are you, why are you touching me?
- How's that massage feel? - That's okay. That's good.
- How's that? - That's good.
- I'll just take... - Okay, a little lower?
- Nice wallet. - What did you say? Nice wallet?
- Nice...wallet.