this idea that people have to hit rock bottom to get better from addiction is probably the
most destructive myth out there about addiction and in this video i'm going to explain to you
why that is and give you a little bit more realistic view on what actually helps people
to get better so if this is something that you've been struggling with for yourself or even thinking
about it for a loved one this video is going to help you clarify what's really going on here and
how addiction really truly works and and even more importantly than that how recovery really works
for those of you who are new here i'm amber hollingsworth master addiction counselor and this
channel is all about helping you understand the science and psychology of addiction so you can get
your life and your loved ones back on track get back to living the life that you want to live so
we've all heard it there's this notion out there that in order for someone to really and truly
want recovery for themselves or decide to get better and beat their addiction
they have to hit this rock bottom or they have to hit bottom we've all heard it and for some
reason we just accept it without a whole lot of real rational analytical thought so let's take
a little bit deeper look at that you know one of the most basic definitions of addiction is
something that someone does despite the fact that it's causing negative consequences in their life
so this idea of rock bottom being this major consequence that's going to make someone stop
and this other idea over here that we have about what addiction really means means people keep
doing it despite the consequences it's like we believe both of these thoughts at the same time
but they don't go together they're kind of opposites because in reality we know that when you
have an addiction you keep using even though the negative consequences keep coming i really really
really want you to understand that consequences do not cure addiction in fact most of the time
consequences make addiction worse definitely not better now behind most myths there's a little
tiny grain of truth so i'm going to tell you what that grain of truth is but it's really not enough
to make this a valid point the grain of truth there is that after something really bad happens
to someone that's related to their addiction they may have this wake-up call moment i call it like
this little moment of clarity where they stop and they think i'm sick of this i don't want to
do this anymore i just want this to be all over and even though the person has that thought it
usually doesn't stay around very long which is why this whole idea of hitting rock bottom
is just such a false notion it doesn't make people get better a long time ago when i
worked in a detox facility i would ask my group in the detox unit of the hospital i would say
i want everyone in here to think of the worst thing the worst thing that's ever happened to
you because of your addiction and then i say now i want you to raise your hand if you used after that
worst thing happened to you guess what happened every hand in the group would go up so think about
the things that happen to people people lose their kids people lose their lives people lose their
loved ones their jobs their freedom their homes the most severe things that can happen to you can
and will happen to people because of their addiction and yet they keep using you know
so many times we have it in our head that well if the person's homeless or if they lose everything
they'll finally realize what they're giving up and they'll get it together and they'll get their
extra sometimes those big bad things that happen will make us think for just a moment hey maybe
i don't want to do this but that in and of itself is just not enough to get someone to actually get
better from addiction which is why i think it's so important for you to stop telling yourself this
stop telling other people this stop waiting for it to happen and for god's sake please stop punishing
yourself when you're stuck in addiction you're really stuck in this dilemma of instant relief or
ultimate relief because when it comes down to it you're in a constant state of uncomfortability
based on the biological effects of the addiction based on the social ramifications your family's
mad at you all these consequences that you've racked up and so you're in this constant state
of uncomfortableness and it's so easy to stay in that addiction because you're just looking for
some kind of immediate relief to that the problem is the longer you search out the immediate relief
to that the more uncomfortable your situation is going to get and so essentially you get stuck
in the trap and it feels like you just can't get out now there will be points along the way where
something bad enough will happen the consequences or the uncomfortableness of that thing will for
a short time outweigh the uncomfortableness of the addiction in those moments you'll be
in this readiness or this willingness state to overcome the addiction to deal with that like for
example if you just got put in jail if you just lost your kids if some really bad consequence
that uncomfortableness begins to outweigh the uncomfortableness of not having the drug that's
when people really say it's like this hitting bottom thing but it's really a matter of seeking
relief and it's in those moments where a lot of times people will be willing to do something
different however whatever that uncomfortableness is will eventually stabilize even if you're thrown
in prison or in jail you know you kind of eventually get used to that even though it's
really bad i'm not saying that in a good way i'm just saying that that stabilizes out and then the
addiction then comes back to take the forefront and you're looking for that immediate relief
of that uncomfortableness the decision you have to make here is can i get out of this immediate need
for relief in order to get the ultimate relief in order to get out of this trap this cycle
once and for all and that doesn't come because something really horrible happens to you that
comes because you finally get into this place of i don't want to be stuck here any more you start
to envision something better for your life you start to believe that things can get better that's
why people really get and stay sober because they come to believe that things can get better
and they can get into their rational thinking mind and for a minute or two they can get out of this
trap of i just need to feel better right now right now and in order to do that it's really a will
power issue and in the beginning of getting out of the addiction trap it's really all about managing
your willpower and that's another saying you've heard right addiction isn't a willpower issue
wrong again addiction is a willpower issue not that you don't have willpower it's just that the
addiction is eating through your willpower at a million miles an hour causing you to constantly
be low and running out of willpower therefore another one of those reasons keeping you
in the trap of addiction tell my clients all the time you don't have to hit bottom you just have to
be convinced and you have to know in your heart that you will if you don't stop you just have
to know that's where you're headed and you know the craziest thing about this i've seen people
get clean and sober be clean and sober for months weeks years and then all of a sudden they have a
craving or they want to use or something bad happens and then they start sort of moving
back into that addictive thinking and they will literally tell themselves well i didn't really
hit rock bottom or well i think i was just getting sober for this other false reason they start to
tell themselves this lie which then allows them to go back to the addiction that's one of the
reasons why this thought is such a destructive counterproductive thought so for goodness sakes
please stop waiting for rock bottom because as we say in recovery you hit your bottom when you put
your shovel down wherever that is that's your bottom and you're done and you can walk away