I started tonight saying, We get lost in a trance and we don't have an
easy way to remember. And so this is a tool of remembering, of remembrance...
To move from the space of a separate, unworthy, victimized,
not-good self, back to that natural tenderness and
love and presence. And as a way of entering it...
...I'd like to say that the gift of RAIN
as I've been describing is it frees us from trance... And, like that beautiful
line from Shakespeare, that it's like, droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven...
It really washes away the kind of self-centeredness and
fear and grasping that keeps us from being close with each other.
Frees up to be more who we really are... There's an inner freedom that's possible,
when we begin to shift from the place that's confined in the egoic self
to that openness and presence. So as you sit here now,
you might let your attention come to the breath. And extend the breath a bit,
just taking a more full in-breath... And a slow out-breath...
Then again, extended in-breath, slow out-breath...
Letting the senses be awake... So
you're feeling quality of hereness, the sounds, sensations...
And then letting come to mind, some situation in your life
that you'd like to bring more attention to. And I'd like to
encourage you not to pick something that's a traumatic kind of reactivity. But
rather something where you just get annoyed, or you get caught and
feeling down on yourself... You get anxious about a performance,
upset with somebody, kind of a habitual pattern with a partner, child...
So bringing a situation to mind, you might run it like a movie in your mind, just to
bring yourself right to the frame, where you're feeling stuck.
And if it's something that... hasn't happened yet
in a real live way, you might imagine it...
So you see yourself in this situation, see where you are...
If you're involved with another person, see that person's face... Hear the sound
of their voice... If it's something that's going on that's triggering you...
If you're alone, just bring the circumstances up that really,
if you're comparing to somebody else, or it's an addictive behavior on your own...
Just really let it be vivid... What triggers you?
So that you freeze the frame right where you're feeling most triggered...
And just begin by recognizing,
kind of, the gestalt of what's going on. And just saying what's happening
right now, and just name whatever you're aware of, the most obvious parts of it...
And let your intention be to allow the experience that
you're having just to be there... to not interfere...
It's like in watching the gorillas, just letting nature unfold itself as it is...
So you're pausing, recognized, allowed... And
then beginning to investigate the experience... And
just notice first what it brings up, what you're feeling in your body...
If you're...there's anger and it feels natural to clench your fists or
in some way, let your body take the posture that most expresses what you're
feeling, go ahead... So you really can get in touch with, Well, what's this like?
When I'm really caught in this, you might feel your face and
let the expression of your face, again, reflect what's going on.
Try not to be shy... It really helps to let your body and
your face contact the experience. And you might notice
that there's a belief about yourself or the world that's real obvious. Again,
the 'what am I believing' question just to see if there's something there that,
maybe you're believing that you're failing... or that you'll never be
good enough, or that you'll never be lovable... that you can't trust others...
And then let yourself, if you notice a belief like that, feel,
felt sense in your body, like your throat, your chest, belly... So
you're investigating and contacting what's here. And as you do it,
let the intention be to offer a kindness or gentleness
to what you're aware of. And for tonight or for this time, I'd encourage you to
experiment with bringing your hand to your heart as a kind of gesture.
You might vary the pressure so that you really feel that sense
of... there is kindness and gentleness accompanying your experience. So
you might feel anger or hurt inside... You might feel it's shame...
And there's that hand and that touch saying, in some way, I'm here. I care.
So you're investigating with an intimate attention.
And you might sense what that part of
you that's most vulnerable and upset, most wants or needs.
And sense the possibility of bringing a great compassion and presence...
You might even sense some words,
that are naturally offered as part of this intimate presence...
One healer says, I'm sorry, and I love you...
Thich Nhat Hanh says the words, Darling, I care about the suffering...
So there's an honest contact with the experience, investigating, contacting, and
an intimate presence... And you
might feel your breath as you sit here... And just sense that,
as you bring this presence to your experience, really who you are...
Sense if there's an inhabiting of a larger space of awareness...
That there is a sense of that ocean-ness that's holding the waves of yourself, but
not lost inside them... It's you saying yes to the life that's here,
making room, and resting in something larger...
Close with a poem, White Dove... Yoga teacher Dana Falls,
she says: In the shared quiet, an invitation arises like a white dove,
lifting from a limb and taking flight. Come and live in truth.
Take your place in the flow of grace. Draw aside the veil you thought
would always separate your heart from love. All you ever long for
is before you in this moment, if you dare draw in a breath and whisper, yes.
Sensing that 'yes' right now...
So that if there's any judgment as to how you practice RAIN,
if RAIN felt incomplete or confusing, that there's a tender yes to that...
It's okay, forgiven, forgiven...
If there's a sense of peace,
yes to that... This ultimate
gift of honoring the life that's here, just as it is...
Namaste and blessings...
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