- I've noticed for myself that I am most magnetic
when I'm in my own frame,
which means I am most rooted in who I am in my own self,
and I am not swayed by other people's thoughts and opinions,
and it wasn't always that way.
Up until about six months ago,
I was a very codependent, needy person
that was very much looking for external validation
from other people.
Even just recently, I've noticed that
on even just Instagram, for example, like Instagram stories,
I used to share so many different aspects of my life.
I would make like 30 to 40 stories a day,
and I would make them with an energy,
like I hope people like what they see,
I live a cool lifestyle, there was like some level
of validation that my intention was
of getting from other people from making those stories.
And it's interesting because as I've done this work,
as I've had and gone through this process of transformation,
I don't post as many stories anymore.
And it's not because like you can't post stories
on Instagram and share your life and not be needy,
cause that can be the case for sure.
But I realized that now that I'm not motivated
by what used to motivate me, it's like, I just,
I don't engage with that energy nearly as much.
I'm not focused on gaining the validation of other people,
and it's allowed me to more freely be me,
to more freely explain and express who I am
when it's authentic.
The thing is, is just it's not as authentic
as it used to be for me to share every aspect of my life.
So it's an interesting energy dynamic that I've noticed.
But when you even think of a magnet,
I think this video is gonna be a game changer for you,
if you feel like you are looking for external validation,
or if you've been told, or feel like
you've been needy before, whether it's dating,
in a relationship, with your friends, when people text you,
you wanting them to text you back quickly,
this video is gonna be the key,
and I think it'll help you through that
in a very easy way.
It's not as hard as you think.
Now, when we talk about magnetic energy,
think of a magnet as something
that is drawing energy towards it.
It's almost like a magnet has gravity.
Now the problem is that when we are feeling needy,
or we are looking for validation,
we are willing to change our center of gravity
to make other people happy so that then they like us.
But because we are changing our sense of self,
they feel that.
And remember people feel what you feel.
There's like an energy field around us.
And if we're putting out an energy field
that says "I'm not confident,"
or "I need you to do something for me to feel validated,"
they feel that, and then they resist
giving that which you need,
or that which you want.
Now, the thing to realize about this
is that neediness and validation seeking for it
is externally focused, as we are looking for the outside
for something that you can only actually experience
on the inside.
So when we see people that are needy in relationship
and they want something, they want someone
to text them back, they want them to be a certain way,
you'll find is that what they're doing
is they're projecting their stuff onto somebody else,
and a lotta times this results in people
trying to fix someone else.
"If I could fix them, then I could get them
to treat me the way I want or to love me."
And this stems from a childhood wounding.
The childhood wounding that it comes from
is normally as kids we need or want something
from our parents, but if we didn't get it,
then we started to change our sense of self,
our sense of gravity for other.
And there's this book that I used to read growing up,
it's called, "Are you my mommy?"
It's like this little bird looking for his mommy,
and it's going over to like a turtle
saying, "Are you my mommy?"
And like a person saying, "Are you my mommy?
In a way, what I think has happened in a lot of times
is we are literally looking for mommy.
We are looking for mom or dad,
but we're looking for validation.
If we feel like we didn't get validation growing up,
then we will look for somebody to replay the same dynamics,
hoping that we can heal and finally get the validation,
and the love, or the presence that we craved growing up.
Now, the thing for me is this all came to a tailwind
once I became aware of the pattern that I had.
I was so motivated by getting external validation,
and I was so motivated and I didn't even,
I wasn't even really aware of it.
I just thought this is who I am. This is what I need.
And in a way, it served me.
In a way I think that growing a million YouTube subscribers,
and growing YouTube subscribers,
that kind of like putting the energy out for that,
a side effect of me having this wound
was that I tried really, really hard
to gain validation from other people.
And eventually that grew and it reached a lot of people,
but I realized it was motivated by something
that wasn't sustainable or authentic.
To be needy is like to be externally focused
on wanting something else.
Now, the key to this is realizing
that the cure to this is the self.
It is bringing energy back to the self.
When we look at neediness,
even think of it as self-neediness.
Self-neediness, that doesn't even really make sense
because neediness is so externally focused.
Now self-validation can make sense.
You can give yourself validation.
And what happens though is when we stop focusing
on other, projecting our stuff on the other,
and putting our energy over there,
what we do is we start putting the energy within ourselves.
Now this is also the key to this, and it's so simple,
but a part of that self-validation is understanding
that nobody can really give you that validation
that you're looking for anyways.
It can only come generated from within.
And it's true because I remember when I first wanted
to get 100,000 YouTube subs,
that was like a goal to get that plaque,
I was like, "Oh, once I get that,
then I'll feel happy that I got that."
And then it became more and more.
It just kept externalizing the goal more and more
and just was never enough.
And it's because it's coming from a place of feeling empty
because it's looking to the outside for something
that could only be given on the inside.
And the key to this is way simpler than you think.
But here is the key and here's what changed
everything for me.
I had a shadow work integration coach,
somebody that I've been working with
for about eight months now.
But he taught me this really simple technique.
It's right over here.
So imagine you have a candle flame,
and you have a candle with a flame,
and imagine that reality is mixed
between two different codes, zeros and ones.
Zeros represents other. Zeros represents other.
Everything that is not you is zero.
Now one, see that flame as a one in it,
one is the self.
Now, when you do this meditation, what you do is,
it's very simple, on the in-breath,
you focus awareness in the body,
and on the out-breath you focus on the space
between you and the room you're in,
you and everybody else.
So it's feeling connection,
and in the container of your body,
and then it's feeling outside of your body
on the out-breath.
So it's in-breath, self, out-breath, other.
And what this did is this allowed me
to bring more and more awareness inside of my body.
And as I did that, I started to gain
much more magnetic energy.
I became much more clear as to who I am
and what I stand for in my own values.
And it changes absolutely everything.
It's about becoming embodied.
The more in your body you are,
the more you will feel healed,
and the less needy you will feel.
A lot of times when we go through trauma when we're kids,
what happens is we energetically
leave the parts of our body, like our chakras,
and the energy just goes more towards the top.
And then we become very sensitive, intuitive
to feeling everyone else's energy,
because it's survival.
We've had to tune to their energy
to get them to give us our needs,
which are to feel validated and to feel worthy.
So the key to this is becoming aware of that
and starting to bring the awareness into the body.
It's real simple.
Bring the awareness into your body,
into your feet, into your legs, into your stomach.
As you do this, energy will be magnetized to you.
When you are in your own body,
you are also in your own frame of reality.
You start to then ask yourself, "Who am I?
What values do I live by?"
I now value authenticity over external validation.
Because of that, I can be more polarizing.
I can be more of myself and not care.
More authenticity is the focus,
vulnerability is the focus of my value.
And that's why in my videos,
I share parts of my life like this,
is to show you these different aspects.
So the cure to neediness is to get into the self,
into the body, and to feel gratitude for who you are,
and to realize that you are,
going a step deeper here, you are source energy.
We are all connected.
And when we forget that,
we start looking for the source outside of ourselves,
that's when things start getting very choppy.
But stop morphing. Stop morphing to other people.
Stop changing your sense of gravity,
because it's not magnetic,
especially if were masculine.
Like feminine energy wants to feel safe.
And feminine energy can't feel safe
if the person's always changing that energy,
depending on who it is so that they can gain the validation.
So this is the key, there is something
called the frame technique,
which is one of the most powerful techniques
that I was talking about there.
If you want to learn step-by-step how to do it,
there's a free YouTube video
that will show you exactly how to do it.
You can click the link below to learn the frame technique,
and that meditation, it'll help you to completely heal,
become more embodied, and have more magnetic energy
than ever before.
So if you guys liked this video,
you can click the like button below,
and I'll be doing more on things
like this energy embodiment work as well.
So with that being said, as always,
I'll see you guys on the next video.
Peace. Much love.