- Hey everybody.
Today we're going to talk about physical abuse
and the long term effects of it.
But before we jump into that, did you know
that I wrote a book?
It's called Are U Ok?
and it's available for pre-order now.
In it I describe the difference
between mental health and mental illness.
How to get the right help and even
how to deal with toxic relationships.
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Just know that if you like my channel
you're going to love this book.
But now let's jump into today's topic.
Now physical abuse is defined as
the use of physical force that may result
in bodily injury, physical pain or impairment.
This could be anything, like pushing, pinching, biting,
throwing things at you, choking you, pining you down,
the list honestly goes on and on.
Overall just know that if anyone ever does something
that puts you in physical danger,
that is abuse and it's not okay.
And before I go any further I want to mention
that anyone can be physically abused,
doesn't matter if we're big and strong or small and weak.
Anyone can be a victim, if you are
in a physically abusive relationship,
please reach out for help.
There are professionals there to support you
and places you can live so that you are kept safe.
So please reach out and speak up.
You are important and you deserve to feel safe
at home and in your relationships.
But what I want to talk about today
is how being abused can effect us later in life.
And of course, what we can do to overcome these effects.
Now being abused at any stage of in our life
can lead to mental health issues.
But much of research being conducted
is focused on children who grew up
with physically abusive parents or caretakers.
And I just assume that this is because
they can give adults an assessment
to find out if they experienced abuse growing up
and they don't have to track them throughout
their entire lives to find out what happens.
So it ends up saving time and money when conducting
their studies and if you didn't know this a lot
of studies are very limited in budget.
So that's my guess to why they do
it mainly on adults who were abused as children.
Now obviously the most common diagnosis
for those who are physically abused growing up
is post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD.
Because when someone harms us physically
it can cause us to fear for our life.
And if you remember that's all it really takes
for use to be and feel traumatized.
They also find that if the abuse continued for many years,
as it usually does, this can lead to complex PTSD.
Which as we know comes with regular PTSD symptoms
like flashbacks, avoiding anything that reminds us
of the trauma, dissociation, et cetera.
But it also includes, emotion regulation problems,
forgetting traumatic events completely,
kind of like repressed memories or just blocking it out,
feeling very ashamed and guilty for struggling with this
and not feeling you know, okay like everyone else.
We can even have distorted perceptions of our perpetrators.
For example, a lot of my clients will tell me
that the people who harmed them, you know,
really did love them they just didn't know how to show it
or by harming us that's the way that they showed it.
And we can also struggle to relate
with others and isolate as a result.
Or even have trouble trusting people, which makes sense,
if someone hurt us, it's going to be hard to trust others.
And finally we can lose our own sense of meaning
and feel really hopeless.
And if you want more information
about PTSD and CPTSD I'll link my videos specially
about those diagnoses down in the description.
But along with those, those who are physically abused
as children can also struggle with depression
and anxiety disorders.
And I personally believe this occurs because if someone
who's supposed to take care of us, and love us
is hurting us, it can make us think something's wrong
with us, and something we did.
This low self-esteem only feeds the hopeless feeling
that can come along with depression and intense worry
that we know is associated with anxiety.
They also found that physical abuse is connected
to alcohol and drug use as well as eating disorders.
And like I've talked about over and over again,
substance abuse and eating disorders
are both just unhealthy coping skills.
Meaning that we're doing those things as a way to numb out
or distract from what's really going on in our life.
Because it can be hard to face the fact
that someone supposed to love us is hurting us.
And so we'll do anything to not have to think about that.
And finally their research shows
that we can also suffer from medical issues.
Not just when the abuse is going on.
But they find when they get older we're more likely
to have ulcers, high blood-pressure, asthma, and allergies.
The researchers believe, as do I to be honest,
that this has to do with living
in a very stressful environment for many years.
And that kind of stress, you know,
can just overwhelm our system and
cause medical complications for us later in life.
But enough about all that bad icky stuff.
Let's get in to what we can do to help ourselves heal
and hopefully prevent some of those long-term effects.
Because it can and will get better.
Now the first treatment option is talk therapy.
Talking through our trauma in detail,
yes I know it totally sucks, but it's important to try
because it gives your brain another chance
to process all that you went through.
So that it no longer effects us in our day-to-day life.
Meaning, once we process through we won't
have flashbacks, or body memories
like we may be experiencing as a result of our trauma.
And the next option is CBT, they have
a trauma focus, it's TF-CBT is how it looks,
but it's CBT trauma focus treatment.
And what they do in this type of therapy
is work with you on relaxation training,
this could be deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation,
or other relaxation skills, they also help us
with emotion regulation, which is like identifying
our feelings and then having tools
to manage all that we may feel.
They also work with us on creating a trauma narrative,
and processing it, which really means discussing
the overwhelming events in the form
of a story, that's why it says narrative.
So we're turning it into a story
and by turning it into that story we're processing
all that comes up, all the feelings, all the body memories,
all the flashbacks that we associate with that trauma.
And finally they work with you
on learning cognitive coping strategies,
which is really just a fancy way of saying
identifying negative thoughts and replacing
them with positive ones.
I talk all the time about the importance
of positive self-talk and that's why.
Positive self-talk is a huge component of CBT.
And then there is also medication.
Many people who have PTSD also find themselves
struggling with anxiety, and depression.
Therefore medication has been found
to be very helpful for those who are struggling.
Obviously, it's not necessary for everyone,
that's not what I'm saying.
But if you are just drowning in the symptoms,
as always, medication can help get our head above water
so we can use some of the tools
that we're learning in therapy.
And if you're interested in medication
or looking into that at all, please contact your doctor
and make sure to ask questions so you understand,
all the side-effects and what you should look out for
so you're fully informed.
And finally there's EMDR treatment.
This stands for eye movement desensitization
and reprocessing.
In this type of treatment you follow someone's finger,
light, or even a buzzer in each hand,
and it helps our brain reprocess the traumatic information.
And helps us heal more quickly from it.
It's kind of like a REM sleep, you know your eyes
are supposed to go back and forth, from left to right.
This type of treatment mimics that sensation
to give our brain yet another opportunity
to process the trauma.
And I always talk about Inside Out, because I just love it
as an analogy, but when we're putting memories together
like those marbles, it might have just shattered
on the floor because we didn't get all the time we needed
to process it or it was just too much
for our brain at that time.
And so doing all this treatment,
whether it's trauma focused CBT or EMDR or talk therapy.
We're just giving our brain some time to pick up
all those splinters, form them into a marble
and roll it away, so we're not, you know,
dancing around all the splinters
and stepping on them sometimes.
That's where I think flashbacks and body memories come from.
Now there are many types of therapy and treatment out there.
So if one of these doesn't work, don't give up hope,
just make sure you like your therapist,
that you connect with them and you feel comfortable enough
to begin sharing, that's the most important thing.
So bottom line, please reach out for help
if you have experienced any type of abuse
or think that you may be suffering from PTSD
because like research shows and like I've talked about,
it only gets worse over time, and
there are amazing treatment options out there
to help us heal, and live the life we want and deserve.
But as always what's been your experience?
Did I leave out a treatment option that helped you?
Let me know in those comments down below
and I will see you next time, bye.