what we about to do Mary?
we gon dye his hair
we gon dye my hair
whoooo
oooooo
the uh
purple in my hair has gone away
The purple in the beard is still in there
Up here... not so much
Ehh its kinda nice over here on the sides, but ya know
The front, the back
Look at this shirt, this a like a shirt, i just picked up to throw away
This is my brother's shirt, this isn't mine, I promise.
Geez
But like i picked a shirt, that I can get dye on
And um Mary and the baby are gonna help me
(Ken)Yeah
(Mary) Hey
(Ken)You got like a wet spot on her ear here, what is that?
(Mary)It was, when I put her in she spit a little bit
(Ken) Oh ok
Before, you can say anything, I know that someone out there in the world is like (typing noises)
(Mockingly) "Isn't the dye bad for the baby?"
Oh my god, this stuff's like freakin... tell em
(Mary) This is Arctic Fox, semi-permanent hair color, it's vegan, its got like no bleach or ammonia.
or anything crazy in it. It's just color
(Ken) You could eat it
(Mary) well I would not recommend eating it
You can eat it!
(Mary) but.. (Ken) but don't
Cause you can eat it
but don't
(Mary) *laughs*
Yeah on the back its got like the
(Mary) Ingredients list (Ken) All the
No peroxide, no ammonia, no ethanol, no PPD, no... (trails off)
and so
(Mary) theres no horrible fumes.
Calm their boobs (Mary) but we appreciate the concern.
No we don't
We don't appreciate it. (Mary) We appreciate it.
*both laugh*
I gotta get a chair to bring in here
Got a chair!
yeah!
Now I'm gonna get a towel thats got junk on it already
Look at all this... stuff
I can do my nails
I got a pair... and I could scrape my teeth and some stuff
in here.. yeah
Could do some dentistry work
Vaseline?
ohh Mary, about to lube me up?
(Mary) I sure is! (Ken) Oh my goodness...
(Mary) so first off..
(Mary) gonna put vaseline along your hairline
(Mary) so that we don't dye
(Mary) your skin (Ken) So I don't die.... ok!
sounds good! I'm ready
Kay do you need me to hold my
hold my 5-head back?
*Ken makes swooshing noise* (Mary) No, I'm gonna clip it back.
Oh yeah. Oh I'm gonna get clipped?
(Mary) Yeah. (Ken) Yeah!
Perfect
(Mary) You're so beautiful
Thank you
(Mary) So beautiful!
What if I just go bald, Mary. What do you think?
(Mary) I think bald men are hot
(Mary) I'm trying not to get it in the hairs
Don't get it in my hurrrs!
(Mary) I'm trying to get it on the skin (Ken) Mary...
Man look how big my forehead is in this camera
jesus christ!
(Mary) *laughs* It looks huge on that camera (Ken) It looks huge!
It looks ok in the mirror?!
(Mary) Its its not that big in real life
(Mary) don't worry. (Ken) I'm going bald!
*Ken makes outraged sounds* No!!.. look no!
look away camera!
You got.. you got worse hair than I've got!
Hahahaha.. cause you got no hair.
(Mary) She's does have hair, its more like fuzz though, It doesn't really feel like hair.
You don't feel like hair...
(Mary) Thank you....
(Mary) you got new little.. little baby hairs.
Yeah they always grow and then they die
*both laugh* I have. I got so many baby hairs, they grow right there in that corner
And they just die
Its like they come out and they're like UGH!
Finally we've made it!
and then the sun hits them and they're like *Agonising death sounds*
pffff... and they just blow away in the wind
you gonna get some ear?
get some ear action?
put it on the backside of that ear too. Just... just rub
just rub.. just lube that ear up real good
you know how I like it
(Mary) *makes funny face* oh god
Yeah we're looking good today!
(Mary) That was a nice angle. (Ken) Yeah we're looking
good today!
How ya'll doing down there?
I'm all lubed up, and she's putting the gloves on
(Mary) Hmmm boy! (Ken) My goodness!
What 'chu gonna do with that, Mary?
those gloves are pretty big....
(Mary) Pretty big for my little hands (Ken) *laughs*
(Mary) they are extra large
yeah!
(Mary) *Snaps gloves* Pew!
(Mary) this is the colour 'Purple Rain'.
(Mary) for anyone thats... wondering (Ken) Purple rain!
(Mary) We're just gonna straight up..
(Mary) pump and dump
(Mary) Alright, we're gonna do this front bit first
(Mary) Cause I feel like thats the bit where the....
(Mary) dye came out of it the most
Slap it on in there
May need some more, I don't know
(Mary) we may need (Ken) Aw perfect! my hair looks perfectly fine again
Thats all we needed, was a little bit in the front
Yeah!
We're gonna be here a long time, if this's how long it takes you to put that stuff in there...
(Mary) It will take a while, yes.
OMG!
I feel beautiful!
*Mary squirts the hair colour out and it sounds like a sloppy fart... potentially a shart*
(Ken) 'Scuse you.. (Mary) ooohh.
'Scuse you over there...
Just like a cat, just stick it on there and start rubbing.
(Mary) *singing* Getting it all purple
(Mary) Purp.... *laughs* I couldn't do it, it was too high
it was too much?
(Mary) Purple! (Ken) Purple
(Mary) *still singing* dyeing all the hurrr
(Mary) god damn boy... (Ken) Oh yeah dig it in there gurl
(Mary) you like that?
dig.. dig it in there real... ow.. good
(Mary) aw yeah... that feels good don't it...
yeahhhh... no it don't
(Mary) put your head back a little bit
(Mary) I can't lean forward cause I got a baby on me
Got a baby on board?
(Mary) It smells like grape lollies
(Mary) like they've scented it with grape because its purple
(Mary) maybe they haven't. Maybe thats just my brain telling me its purple, so it smells like grape
(Mary) but... (Ken) Maybe.
(Mary) I think... does it smell like grape to you?
Yep. Smells pretty grape
(Mary) Grape? ha ha ha
Ha HAAAA
*Both laugh semi manically*
Getting around them ears, Mary?
(Mary) I'm getting around them ears, boy
(Mary) Why am I putting on, like an old prospector accent?
Is that a prospector?
(Mary) Yeah its like.... (Ken) Oh god damn boy
(Mary) I'm gonna get your gold!
You're gonna get your gold! ahahahahaha
(Mary) I don't know why I keep doing that...
(Mary) Its just... its funny though, so I'm gonna keep it up
(Mary) It..Its just whats....
(Mary) whats going on in my head right now, is...
(Mary) Old prospector
(Mary) runnin' the town!
Prospectors runnin' the town too?
(Mary) I don't know
Prospector does everything.
(Mary) Well sonny, depends what you want today
Now you're like getting 'Witchy' over there like WEUGH
I've been smokin' for 84 years!
Do some more of that voice
(Mary) Hmmmm Sonny! (Ken) *Laughs* yeah?
(Mary) Heck yeah!
*Ken laughs* You got any other voices?
(Mary) Aw I don't know about that
Thats the.. the 'Ben' voice
(Mary) I don't know about that!
Whats the LunchBox voice? I don't remember
(Mary) I can't remember. What voice did we give her?
Did you give her the prospector voice too?
(Mary) Everyone's a prospector
(Mary) Or there's the.....
(Mary) super sexy, I just ran on a
(Mary) a hundred mile hike
(Mary) oh for some reason, breathing
(Mary) heavily is supposed to be sexy
Yeah!
Its pretty hot!
*dramatic heavy breathing*
Poiple
(Mary) Poiple! (Ken) Poiple!
(Mary) Poiple hurrr
It looks blue in the camera.. almost. The viewfinder anyway..
(Mary) definitely. Yeah It looks super blue
(Mary) hmmm
But its super purple
Weird!
(Mary) that seems to be an ongoing thing...
(Mary) We keep saying that things are purple, but then people are like 'Its Blue!'
Like even the stuff on your gloves is really purple, but it looks so blue in the camera
(Mary) Yeah its like really dark purple in real life
Hmm
(Mary) Weird! (Ken) Maybe I should fix that
I changed the camera to Sunset, it looks purple on your gloves
Yeah!
(Mary) All of us (Ken) And now we're super
(Mary) Looks like simpsons characters (Ken) Ah now you can
Aw now we're old timey. You can give it the.. give it the
(Mary) oooohhh yeaaaah boiiii!
Thats real old timey
(Mary) Aw yeahhhh! (Ken) Oh yeah boi!
(Mary) Aww howdy!
If I look down, I look even older
Back in my day
We.. we didn't have
purple hair
We didn't have the colour purple
we had
just the three you need
red
blue
and white
Red, white and blue, Baby! For life! Whiew! Amurica
(Mary) Still got to do the very back, you need to look all the way forward
All the way forward, aw yeah we can get even more...
(Mary) You've got long thick hair
Aw yeah gurl its thiccc
(Mary) thiccc
Hmmmm!
Oh Mary, is this
Is this the face you have to look at when we're in the bed?
(Mary) *Laughs* Thats my view everyone
Aw yeah you like that gurl?
(Mary) You're welcome
I'm sorry. Oh look thats so curly on the sides
I need to trim it up
I wish this stupid spot in my unibrow would stop growing and go away forever.
but it won't
I can make it look even bigger
Oh my god
Oh its receding as we speak
Are you about done there Mary? Can I look up yet?
(Mary) You can look up, yup
OW!
You pulled my hair when I said that... WHY?
(Mary) Sorry! (Ken) You're so mean!
(Mary) I'm just trying to get it in there real deep boi
Aw yeah guurl
(Mary) I just want it in there deep
I feel... I feel it all over my scalp, I think its in there pretty good
(Mary) Poiple! (Ken) Give me a cool hairdo
(Mary) Poiple hurrrr
Thats the best you got? the Alfalfa? thats it?
(Mary) Just wait! Yeaaaah!
Yeah yeah!
(Mary) heh heh heh
Two of them? good job we did it!
(Mary) You got one at the very back...
oh
(Mary) its just this middle one won't....
Somewhere back there...
well how long does this gotta stay in?
(Mary) Half an hour, but you could leave it on for forever...
Forever????
(Mary) if you wanted
I never have to wash it out?
(Mary) ever
Just leave it on forever? (Mary) You're never washing..
(Mary) your hair
Its VEGAN so that means...
I'll grow vegetables out of my hair
(Mary) That it can't hurt you...
Is that what it means? There've been some vegans that've hurt my feelings out there Mary.
I think vegans can hurt you.
(Mary) Well thats true
(Mary) Alright, are we gonna do the buuurd (Beard)
The buurd?
(Mary) Buurd
(Mary) or are you gonna leave the buurd, Black Buurd?
I'll just leave the buurd.
(Mary) ok. (Ken) For now, its ok.
The buurd.. you could never really tell the purple in the beard anyway
cause its so dark
(Mary) there, there she is! (Ken) Baby
(Ken) baby! Baby! (Mary) there she is!
I'm just waiting for her to puke all down your.. your bossoms
(Mary) Thats why I got a cloth there
Yeah?
he he you're prepared
What are you.. what'chu washin'?
(Mary) I'm washing off the bottle, because I've just been grabbing it with my gloves
(Mary) and all this writing was white
(Mary) and now its all purple
You dyed the bottle, Mary!
(Mary) I dyed the bottle!
Thats how well it works
Can you wash it off?
(Mary) What? (Ken) If you can't wash it off, that means its good
(Mary) Ah I don't think I can
Alright!!! Me and Mary have been talking about how
when I was younger
I wanted to grow my hair out
I wanted to grow it out long
my parents would've let me grow it out
they wouldn't have cared, as long as it
as long as I didn't colour it
any colours, cause that was bad back then
back in the 90's.. you know
Coloured hair... meh... frosted tips
they were ok, but coloured hair.. no
then all those kids who didn't get to colour their hair grew up
and now everyone colours their hair
Ain't that right, Mary?
(Mary) Damn right, boy (Ken) What you got the saran wrap for
What, you about to wrap my head?
(Mary) I am! (Ken) Yeah?
good job
*ken laughs* *mary shushes him*
You gonna wrap the baby up in there
(Mary) quiet baby!
(Mary) No... *Laughs*
Shushhshshshsh
Alright, good job
*Ken laughs*
(Mary) Don't make fun of me
You did it
(Mary) I did a great job
Yep! Nice. *Mary laughs*
very nice
this is.. this is my.. my tattoo wrappin'
stuff
(Ken) gonna wrap some (Mary) its also just
(Mary) for food
heh pssh food
please
There's no left overs in this house
*Mary laughs* look at me
(Mary) There you go!
I'm looking splendid
Duur da hurrr (there's the hair)
(Mary) look at that baby
(Mary) look at that
(Mary) Baby!
(Mary) not you!
I'm the baby!
(Mary) You're not the baby!
Yup, alright. I'll just sit here, I guess
Where's my.. you didn't bring me my iPhone
(Ken) I'm bored! (Mary) Awwww
Aw I can't survive without my window to the world
*blowdrying the hair* Aw yeah
(Mary) look who's waking up!
(Mary) hello!
(Mary) You hiding your face?
(Mary) Aww
(Mary) Awww *baby fusses*
*baby squeals*
(Mary) Awwww. Patting that baby!
Pat that baby
(Mary) She had some milk
(Mary) and she's all awake
(Mary) now she's gotta do a big burp for us
No burps! Just eat my arm
om nom nom nom
And its time, for me to unleash this beast
(Mary) whoo whoo!
Aw just.. whoooo
My hair... I've been throwing my hair to the side
(Mary) I can't wait to see! I hope it sticks super well and looks all purple, yeah! Whoooooo!
(Mary) aw I got makeup on there (Ken) Aw you smudged it aw yeah
gross!
gotta get it off
(Mary) its just plastic wrap (Ken) how do I get it off, Mary??
UUUUUUUGHGHGHGHG! Ok
Now its time to jump in the shower. but how do I, How do I get this shirt off, I didn't think about that... oh no!
It looks like it took
nicely
Lets blowdry this junt
Look at that big Poiple curl!
Aw yeah! Pretty purple
Its like super dark purple but it doesn't look that
crazy dark. if only I could get it to do anything
other than just be big.
that'd be great
but yeah
purple!
Play with it some more. Alright Mary
What'cha think?
(Mary) It looks good!
Yeah? (Mary) Yeah
(Mary) I did a really good job
(Mary) I haven't inspected it yet
Inspected it?
(Mary) It looks pretty good. (Ken) Yeah is it ok?
(Mary) It looks like its a pretty solid colour
(Mary) all over, let me see the back, turn around. (Ken) Oh yeah?
(Mary) It looks pretty even
I got this big huge curl on the top that won't do anything
(Mary) yeah? you're superman?
pcha!
sha cha!
thats just what it does
I should probably get a hair style one day, you know
(Mary) you look like a..
rarity, from my little pony (Ken) OOOO!
My little pony!! Oh hahahaha
I'm a real brony now!
yeah!
look at that baby!
that baby!... is just like
whoooaa
what?.. those grapes?...
whoooooaaaa! whooooaaa gimme a grape!
om nom.... boop
boop boop boop
(Mary) no cuurs (cares)
booped your snoot!
(Mary) do not curr
Well my hairs purple now, yay!
Aw the light from the ceiling's so majestic!
but I guess that's it!
I guess we did everything for the day
right Mary?
(Mary) Yeah yeah!
(Ken)Yeah? (Mary) So we're gonna play some 'Dungeons and Dragons
Yeah we're gonna play some 'Dungeons and Dragons' now!
with my purple hurr!
Thank you guys very much for watching, we'll see you guys next time.. and until then.......
Stay toasty........
my friend... prospector say it!
Stay toasty my friends! WHAAAAA!!!!!