- Oh.
(laughter)
I tripped.
Welcome to The Personality Kitchen.
Today we are talking about how does your personality type,
your Myers-Briggs personality, type change over time.
Like a stew simmering on the stove.
This, this connection is so tenuous.
Now look, let me make it clear from the get-go,
your type does not change to a different type over time.
It's not like you're an ENTJ and then over time you become
an INTJ.
That's not what I'm talking about.
But, each type will have a different way of developing,
based on their preferences,
based on their cognitive functions.
And we're going to get all into that today.
Talking about each type and what you can expect throughout
life.
- Hey, what about me?
- Oh, and, uh, today it looks like we're joined by Chip,
who today is literally a bowl of, uh, tortilla chips.
- Yeah, I mean, that's kind of weird.
(laughter)
- Yeah.
I don't know what I'm doing right now.
Now let us start shaking and baking.
Let's start type development over time.
Okay, so my opinion and the opinion of many people who are
into personality type, is that your Myers-Briggs type is
something that you were born with.
There are actually a lot of scientific studies that show
that personality is in large part genetic.
So it would make sense that in NBTI,
assuming it is true and valid could also be genetic.
So, you're born with your type.
You've got all four cognitive functions.
You've got thinking, feeling, intuition and sensing.
And even though your type prefers two have those,
when you're a kid, you're just kind of like using them all
indiscriminately, randomly.
So a little INTJ kid is also going to be using their feeling
and their sensing a lot.
At least until a point in life where the kid realizes
"Oh, dog, my dominant function is where it's at."
It's sort of like the kid discovers,
"Oh, this is my personality type."
Now I could go through a rundown of the dominant functions,
but I feel like I've done that a lot before.
So, I would suggest checking out this video in the card,
above my head to get a taste for all of that.
(explosion)
Whoa.
- Hey, you said taste and you're dressed like a chef.
That's that's pretty funny.
Right?
(scoffs)
- Yeah.
That's, that's true.
That at some point in childhood, we discover that we have a
second cognitive function that we can use,
that is a great compliment to our dominant one.
So, by some time in adolescence,
you have that pairing in the middle of your type.
If you're an NxxF type,
you've realized intuition and feeling together,
that's the way to go.
If you're an SxxT type you realize sensing and thinking,
that's the way to go.
Let me use just those two things.
Of course, the exception here is if for some reason you have
not developed properly and you are unhealthy.
I talked about that in my video last week,
you can check that out in the card above my head.
(explosion)
Whoa.
- where's that fire even coming from?
- I don't know.
It's just the thing I do.
Uh.
It doesn't make a lot of sense.
In the second part of the video, we're going to talk about
what happens after that.
Once you come out of adolescence into adulthood and you
start to confront and develop your non-preferred side.
Join me there.
Hey Chip, have you seen any guacamole around?
- Uh, I don't.
Why are you asking me a question like that?
- Oh, no reason.
Just, just wondering.
Oh, okay.
Welcome back to part two.
So up to this point, we've talked about healthy type
development to adulthood, basically.
Where you have realized what your type is all about.
And really the thing there is you trust and feel responsible
for those functions.
So for example, an ISFJ is like,
"Okay, the sensing and feeling I can do that.
I trust it.
I am responsible for that."
But the NxxT side of things,
the intuition and the thinking,
"Nah, let's not worry about that."
But once you get into early adulthood and it, you know,
it's different for everyone,
you start to discover your third function there,
is something that actually, this could be useful.
Maybe I should take some responsibility for this part of my
personality, even though my whole life I've gotten by just
doing my preferences, just doing those two things.
Maybe I can add in this third thing every once in a while.
So, you get the IxxP types
and they realize at some point early adulthood,
"Oh man, I keep going from thing to thing.
I like to keep my options open,
but maybe it would be good thing
if I kind of like narrowed things down,
got things settled."
For the INFP and INTP,
it will be like in the sensory world,
"How do I like just get my life physically in order?
How do I, you know, write a grocery list?"
And for the ISFP and ISTP it will be an
intuitive kind of organization.
"How can I start to project out into the future?
How can I start to find the connections and the meanings
within my life, and really start to narrow that down."
For the ExxJ types, they kind of do the opposite.
They have been organized up to this point in their life.
They've been able to keep things limited and they are always
looking for a conclusion and to have things settled and they
start to realize once they reach adulthood,
"Oh, actually, maybe it's good, sometimes to keep my options
a little bit more open, to go a bit more spontaneously and
not be so rigidly stuck with a plan."
So the ESTJ and ESFJ will realize,
"Oh man, it's actually good to look out at all the different
possibilities of the future."
And to like, be a little bit more open to new concepts,
new ways of doing things that I didn't think of before.
And the ENTJ and ENFJ are like,
"Okay, I actually should kind of like own what's happening
right now.
And how do I deal with things as they pop up?
And how do I take in new information and not just rely on
this big future plan I have?
The ExxP types, generally, around this time,
will start to discover,
"Oh man, I, I've been a little bit selfish up to this point
and maybe it will serve me and everyone else, if I start to
like consider what other people think is good,
what other people think is logical."
So the ENTP and ESTP will be like,
"Oh, extroverted feeling.
what everyone else thinks is good.
What's going to make everyone else happy?
Maybe I should, like, consider that."
(laughter)
And the ENFP at ESFP will realize,
"Oh, extroverted thinking.
what's going to work for everyone else?
How do I work with other people to get stuff done?
That's important.
Life is not all about just what I think is cool."
The IxxJs, on the other hand, of this time of life might be
discovering the opposite thing.
They'll be like,
"Actually, maybe I should just be a little more selfish and
do what I want to do.
And not always be seeking out the approval and validation of
others."
The ISTJ and INTJ are going to tap more into their
introverted feeling and be like,
"Okay, what do I value?
What do I think is important?
Let me go a little bit more in that direction."
The ISFJ and INFJ are going to be like,
"Okay, I gotta pick what I want to work on.
What I think is logical for me.
And I'm just going to have to go after that,
even if it makes other people unhappy."
In part three of this video,
we're going to look at what happens beyond that.
It's not something that everyone gets to,
but it's actually probably the most important part
of type development.
Stay tuned.
All right, welcome back.
How's it going over there, Chip?
- You know, I think I'm getting kind of stale sitting here.
- That, that is true on a couple of different levels, Chip.
Okay, so now the last ultimate step of type development.
This can happen almost at any point after the last one.
And honestly, for some people, it never happens.
They never developed their type this far.
And this is the point at which you take responsibility for
your inferior function.
And this is one of the hardest things to do.
And now I just want to clarify this doesn't mean you start
to use your inferior function,
because you have been using your inferior function
all along.
Like you, you couldn't really operate as a human being
unless you were able to use it every once in a while,
at least.
But just because you use it doesn't mean you feel
responsibility for it.
The ExxJ's, they're going to struggle with being themselves.
Standing up for themselves, doing what they want to do.
They are slaves and they've been slaves in their whole life
up to this point to everyone else.
What everyone else wants to do.
The ExxJ's feel like they need permission.
They can't do anything unless other people are like,
"Thumbs up, do it."
So that's the struggle for the ExxJ's.
"How do I make decisions for myself without validation and
also be okay with that and not blame everyone else that they
didn't give me the thumbs up?"
The ENTJ and ESTJ are going to struggle with,
"What do I think is good? What are my priorities?
And how do I make decisions based off of that?"
The ENFJ and ESFJ are going to struggle with,
"How do I do what I think is logical?"
For the ExxP types, this stage of development,
what they've got to do is take responsibility for limiting
things down, narrowing down all those possibilities.
The ExxP's love to just keep their options open
all the time, never get things settled down.
And it's so hard for them.
It feels so wrong to just be like,
"Okay, I got to pick one thing and that's it."
The ENTP and ENFP need to own the organization
of the sensory world.
"How do I get myself organized and like, make a checklist
for things and not just jump into it without any
preparation?
I can't leave it for someone else to do.
I can't just sort of grumble and complain about it.
I have to take it on."
The ESFP and ESTP,
they need to start realizing I am responsible for planning
out into the future for figuring out what my pathway in life
is, and perhaps one of the most existentially frightening
things is they are going to have to be like,
"What does my life mean? What does it all mean?
What, everything that's going on, how do I make sense of it?
I have to understand the "why" behind my life."
So for the IxxP types,
this last stage of development is going to be all about,
"How do I embrace others and their perspectives?
How do I realize that I am not the center of everything.
I'm not the final decision maker for everything?"
And it feels very wrong for IxxP types to,
to accept responsibility for,
"Okay, I've got to do what is going to be valued
by everyone else."
That would be for the INTP and ISTP.
Or "I've got to do what is going to work with everyone else.
What everyone else thinks needs to be done.
How can I work with them?"
That would be for the INFP and ISFP.
And then the IxxJ types,
the IxxJ's just have blinders on.
They have a limited way of seeing the world, and
it's tough for them to then open it up and realize,
"Okay, I've got to embrace all of the different options,
all of the possibilities,
all of the things that are happening.
I can't just ignore them and try to get around them.
Just because I have blinders on does not mean those things
go away.
It just means that they cause a ton of problems for everyone
else, while I'm ignoring them."
The IxxJ's also have to realize just because they've got
this specific, weird thing that they want things to be like,
life is not going to be like that.
Like, they can't just ignore how things are changing in the
moment.
The ISFJ at ISTJ they need to realize,
"Oh, there are more options.
There are more possibilities than what I have paid attention
to.
And they might be very different from everything I've been
doing all along, but I've got a look at them.
I've got to take them into consideration."
Meanwhile, the INFJ and INTJ have to embrace the same thing.
"But in the sensory world, there are all these things out
there that I need to pay attention to.
I can't just ignore them and try to get around them
intuitively."
Which is what they've been doing their whole lives.
Like, they've got to realize that there are a lot,
just a lot of different things and different experiences out
there, that can be good.
That can be useful.
They have to sort of realize the intuition,
like, the imagination and all the tricks
they're trying to do to jump ahead and not have to
deal with the real world.
That is all fake.
That is not real.
What is real is right here, right now.
That is like the big lesson
that the INTJ and INFJ will have to learn at some point.
And if they don't, they're going to keep having these issues
where the real world comes out of nowhere and, uh,
kicks them in the butt.
- Yeah, just like you've ignored me for most of the video.
- I kind of forgot you were there, Chip.
But you know what?
Uh.
Thanks for watching.
Check out this video here about healthy versus
unhealthy types if you haven't seen it already...
Or, uh, the playlist,
the whole playlist right here, dang.
Till next time, stay cool and attractive.
(upbeat music)