what's the best way to deal with feedback you don't agree with my manager
give my manager gives me feedback on my personality that I don't agree with I'm
only in the company five months and he doesn't know enough about me to make the
comments he's making I find myself wanting a con want to contest with what
he's saying but I believe this will ultimately end poorly for me it's
frustrating for me to listen to feedback from him about my personality when my
friends and family would disagree with him okay again this is one of those
questions that I think people that listen the podcast know what the answer
is what you do when someone's giving you feedback did you listen to it and you
try and make adjustments get in their head and figure out where this is coming
from they're obviously saying this for some reason and maybe the reason is
because they have a big ego or they don't understand people very well and
that's fine and if you know that then you just learned something about them
but also you might not know yourself as well as you think you do and and
obviously if you can test what someone's saying you're gonna look like you can't
take critiques oh you're right that's not a good approach to take furthermore
what you're saying is that your friends and family wouldn't agree with this guy
well guess what they're your friends and family right it's like the dude's mom
that you know the dude's mom always thinks the dudes handsome dudes not
handsome but his mom thinks he's handsome and he you know your friends
and family think oh I can't believe they'd say that about you
well that's your friends and family there's a reason why you have friends
because they like you yeah they whatever part of your personality
is is not cool they're over it yeah well this this boss the manager can't deal
with it he has know how to deal with it yet so like I said when someone gives
you a critique you should actually listen to so what people have such a
hard time with and you should actually listen and say okay well maybe I'm too
aggressive maybe I'm you know too close-minded or whatever or whatever
critique point you're getting listen to him maybe someone's like hey I don't
think you take very well in yulik were you talking
about of course I take critique well you don't know that's my point
so and the other thing like I said is in doing this the managers actually telling
you something about their personality and and their views and their judgment
so learn from that learn what they're pretty they're teaching you about their
personality which is gonna help you better influence and manipulate and work
with work with that person in the future and perhaps help make them into a better
leader and a better supporter of what it is that you're trying to do mmm so calm
down relax one of the best things you can do when someone when someone says to
you hey I think you're screwing this up it's a call hold on let me let me let me
grab a notebook I just want to take notes to make sure I understand we were
coming from so I can I can make some adjustments I'm always looking to get
better yeah that might be a little extreme but you know hold on a second
let me get my notebook yeah so I can take notes because I want to get better
yeah but no some people somebody they'll take notes you know however you really
like taking notes I killed the llamas when I was running the West Coast SEAL
training the the good officers like there would be some officers when would
I'd be putting out word to him they'd be taking notes
yeah that's gain and I was even when I first saw it it was kind of like mmm
surprise me yeah okay this guy's just straight-up taking notes on what I'm
telling he's a one-on-one conversation because he's sitting there like taking
notes yeah yeah so that get some but if you said it with your tone like hold on
all jock was gonna say something let me get out my notebook yeah that's
sarcastic yeah yeah but there's also not just being sarcastic I was leaning
towards more like the brown noser oh that guy okay oh oh I go you're gonna
give me some feedback hold on one second I want to get my notes out so I can make
sure I do exactly what you're telling me to do thanks buddy
yeah again with the tone yeah I think you know there's a little way middle
ground I think yeah who is it Sarah Armstrong I think put it out on Twitter
something about tone and body language in some psychological survey makes
more than half what is actually being said yeah and I heard that too
and I was like hey that sounds cool but I mean you know maybe maybe not because
if someone says something it's pretty clear but then I it's kind of stuck with
me and it's true but I could literally say the same like I don't know ten words
to you in all these different tones and they would mean ten different things oh
for sure like you can like it's actually baffling in surprising how much we can
actually communicate like if I if I make a joke to you like something you don't
know my level of sarcasm you don't know necessarily you have to know the person
you know like so there's all these things that that have to be in place for
you to effectively be communicated to yeah so like let's say you overhear a
conversation in the next room like you could easily miss the whole point of the
conversation even though you heard every word because you don't know if they're
joking you don't know if they're serious you don't know if one guy's mad you know
if one is getting older and they can take the same exact or they can say the
same exact words but they're just saying different things coming from differently
that's where you would end up a lot of communication problems with the email
yeah where someone emails a joke yeah joking about something and if someone
takes it seriously and next thing you know people are flying off the handle
yeah I always had that rule in my seal platoon isn't asking if you weren't
allowed to joke on the radio yeah the main reason for that rules cuz you you
don't want other people outside your organization to hear it and take it the
wrong way same thing but it's the same thing with email unless you know someone
really really well that's really really well you better it's better to keep the
sarcastic comments and just be straightforward and speak plainly you're
an email when you're communicating with people it's a lot it's a lot easier and
then even with that the prophet has no escape from this even with that you
could easily come off as like too rigid or me or that dang is this guy this guy
not like yeah you know like that's your second email and it's like that's why
communication is important that's why learning how to to write well is
important that's why little words that you put in matter into phrases into
sentences they matter yeah a difference thus the invention of emojis
memo's yeah no you're very into emojis I am now yeah I sometimes I I i must say
that i think you communicate very well with emojis because even though you
don't sometimes use any words in a text to me i fully understand what you mean
mm-hmm bye lightning bolt lightning bolt
lightning bolt rainbow rainbow lightning bolt thumbs up sucka fire shaaka fire
yeah very clear right yeah no I uh yeah yeah I agree yeah I agree with that
shaaka fire I forgot about fire you do quite a bit of fire yeah the lightning
bolt and fire I use in them the chakra for sure and the rain with you I use a
rainbow a lot seems like a child thing don't you know like emoticons
I don't like emojis yeah but you're kind of like that in real life you know I
know but it's it seems like to me it's see yeah it's like a kid maybe your
little daughter would do it or something it's what my daughter will send me 875
emojis from my wife's phone yeah yeah all of them see if she can yeah and I
send back okay yeah yeah see buddy you're like that in real life too though
that's the thing like if you like if you you know that you're running the risk of
sounding too like you know like stoic or whatever you know like if you if you
have to answer a question with yes when in whatever the question is it's a
yes-or-no question and you answer yes affirmative ly right it you'll put yes
period and that'll come off as like a joke was like I don't know whatever this
guy is serious or something you know instead of yes exclamation point yes -
exclamation points lightning bolt fire info or something like that that gives
away a little bit more like you know you're just like yes is as if you're
just looking someone in their eye you're going yes that's that's it
I know that's what I'm saying you really like that in real life right on
lightning bolt fire yeah man let's emojis know I'm in there don't over do a
double Shaka double shock yeah what's the highest level of a mood emoji
approval you can send me three lightning bolts three fires three chakras 3
rainbows sure like you shouldn't do 4 4 is dumber
you know Oh depends on what I say though so like if there is if it's a word or
the vowel in the word will they'll be like that's that can be infinite like if
I put it I don't know you know like you'll tell me something exciting and
I'll put it not and all but dang instead of D ing I'll put D lowercase a
depending the level of excitement a that can go infinitely by the way that can
spend 20 text messages even over 20 days and that's how infinite it can be then
the first half of that is in lowercase the second half of the A's are uppercase
the N maybe 10 ends 3 G's all capital then you know then so because it just
depends yes well like I said I think you
communicate well on a serious note in regards to communication that is
effective you know what I mean you sense my level of excitement as opposed to
cool period yeah yeah no no your mother you were anyway next question
I guess the rainbow of I