Hello there, this is Ajit Nawalkha and in today's video,
we are talking about powerful self-reflective questions
that will help you and your clients,
to unlock your future potential.
And before we get into this video,
I want you to consistently,
unlock your future potential which is why,
if you haven't yet hit the red subscribe button,
you wanna go hit that red subscribe button,
so we can send you videos every single week,
like we do here on Evercoach.
Now today's video is very important.
The reason why it's so important is the questions
I'm gonna share with you, are slightly uncomfortable.
They are not normally used in a first-time coaching setting,
but can be insanely powerful,
if you use them repeatedly as a self reflective exercise
for yourself or for your clients.
The reason why these questions are so very powerful
is because, when you ask these questions,
it gets your clients or yourself
to reflect really on where you are in your journey
and where would you like to go.
It helps you get really real with yourself
and get into the uncomfortable unsure place,
so you can find the comfortable, certain place
about really knowing yourself and finding your true purpose,
your true calling and finding real alignment in your life
as you go further after you've answered
these questions for yourself.
Now let's get into the first question.
The first question I heard at a conference.
I was attending this event where there are
other transformative leaders, other coaches that were coming
in a closed setting to really discuss ideas
on how to further humanity, better how
to make better contributions,
to be able to help humanity more.
And this was one of the icebreaking societies
but the question was so powerful,
I had to share with you.
The question is,
"What is it that I don't want you to know about me?"
The reason why this, the question is so powerful
is because it gets you to really inquire
as to what is it that you're hiding?
What is it that you're hiding from the world outside?
What is it that you're hiding probably from your colleagues,
from your friends, even your life partners.
You see, what is it that I don't want you to know about me,
reveals that part of you that is scared.
That is uncertain.
That is unsure.
That is trying to fit the norms
and not to really share what's really happening for you.
When you are willing to share
what is it that you don't want to share
about yourself with the rest of the world,
when you get comfortable with finding those out first
and then being able to share it,
you'll find that you unlocked,
a certain level of courage in your life.
You will find that now you're getting
more and more comfortable
with things that otherwise were unknown, unseen,
maybe uncomfortable to you.
Sharing something that otherwise may feel a little scary
to share with someone allows you
to be able to get more honest with yourself.
And get more honest,
with how you show up in the world.
So i really invite you to reflect today,
on what is it, that you don't want me to know about you.
Because when you really share that,
when you really share that with yourself
and then you share it with our community here,
you will find that you have found a new power
and comfort with who you are as a person.
You can also ask this question in a business setting
or a life coaching setting,
where you are discussing ideas
of what is it that your clients need courage around?
What is it that they maybe are unwilling to share?
This could be a great opening question,
when you're in the third or fourth coaching session
with your client.
Where you can openly ask them,
what is it that you don't want me as your coach
to not know about you?
This will help your client really unravel or reflect on
what is it that they're still hiding.
Why is it that they're still hiding that?
The second question leans a little bit
on the first question to find even more truths
about you and your client.
The second question is,
"What are the 5 uncomfortable,
"but honest truth about yourself?"
The reason why I asked for five uncomfortable
but honest truths is because very often there are areas
in life that we struggle with.
But because we have to put a game face on,
because we are expected to be a certain way,
we don't share them, not even with ourselves.
We don't even recognize that it is happening for us.
And because we don't recognize that it is happening for us,
very often they pile up as subconscious challenges,
that we struggle with
and we can never really face with.
Which is why, I invite you to write down
what are the five honest truths,
honest truths that you may be struggling with,
maybe challenge with, maybe truths that you're fighting
to get past.
Right now as I'm speaking with you,
I am struggling with trying
to figure out this new house that we just got.
We got this new house
and this contractor solvers at the house
which is why you see my video production quality
has gone a little bit down and I struggled with it.
And I honestly want to find a way how
to not struggle with it.
I have not been able to manage my thinking around it,
my emotions around it
and that is why I got an office
and now I got to work in a office.
But I know I'm escaping a truth
and I need to work on that truth.
I wanted to share this honest truth
with you because it's liberating for me.
And I think it is liberating for you,
if you shared your own truth
of what you may be challenged with right now.
Very often we are told as coaches and trainers
and educators, that we can't really share our struggles
that if we are vulnerable, if you're honest,
they will not respect us.
What I have found more and more of,
is the more honest I am with you,
it gives you permission to be honest with me.
And at the end of it, what we are doing here as coaches,
is build a more honest society so we can tackle
the challenges that we need to tackle,
overcome the situations that we wanna overcome
with creative and better society around us
than we have today.
And that is why I am coming out to you right now
being honest, I invite you to be honest with yourself.
I invite you to write down your five honest truths
that you're struggling with.
Even if you don't wish to share it here today,
I invite you to at least do the exercise.
I invite you to invite your clients to do the exercise,
so they can identify what are they struggling with really.
And then we can come up with a plan with that awareness,
we can come up with an ideas and strategies
and thinking behind how we can really get
past those challenges and create an even better version
more honest version of ourselves.
The third question brings attention towards your need
for acceptance from others.
You see very often,
we want others to accept us.
Others to recognize us, recognize our work,
recognize our talent, recognize our contribution to society.
But very often we don't actually write down.
What is it that you want people to really recognize you for?
What is it that you really want people
to appreciate you for?
What is it that you want people to know you for?
The invitation to this question is
so we can direct our energy towards what really matters.
Seeking acceptance is a human thing.
There is nothing wrong with that.
The challenge becomes when we compare our recognition
to somebody else's,
when we are undirected in what is the recognition
that we even seek?
Is it that we want those likes?
Or do we want to feel that we contributed to a person.
Does one person's testimony at a time,
gives us tremendous amount of joy or satisfaction
or we listen to somebody's testimony and immediately look
at somebody else to hope that they also accept us.
What is it that you as a coach,
really want to be recognized for?
What is it that your clients really want
to be recognized for?
Just saying, I want to be recognized,
mixes undirected and makes it harder for us
to see the recognition, when it does come through.
But when we invite ourselves to really ask,
what is it that I want to be known for?
What is it that I want to be recognized for?
It directs our energy and now we can see better.
We can see better when we are truly recognized for it,
when we are appreciated for it.
You know you are recognized
and appreciated for your talents,
once you start to realize what is it that you
really wanted to be recognized for?
So I invite you to write down,
what is it that you want to be recognized for?
What are the talents you want to be appreciated for?
What's the contribution you wanna make in the society.
And then I want you to ask
the same question to your clients.
So they don't fall for the trap of,
"I wanna be recognized"
and never feel satisfied with the recognition
that they may already be getting.
Once we direct their focus and energy
you will find that your clients will be able
to also feel the recognition with lot more power
because they are focusing attention towards the recognition
that they truly seek.
The acceptance that they truly want.
They won't chase the social media likes,
they might chase what is truly important to them.
And that is powerful.
The next question is something that comes from movie.
Yes, I know.
I fell for a movie question.
This question was asked by George Clooney's character,
in "Up in the air."
This movie is about two employees
that go around firing people.
And George Clooney,
in one of the firing activities asked this question
that I think is powerful and reflective,
even if you're not really getting fired.
So here's the question for you?
"How much did they pay you the first time
"to trade in your dreams?"
Ooh, that's a powerful question.
How much did they pay you the first time,
to trade in your dreams?
The reason why this question is so very important is
because very often we don't live our dreams.
We don't live our purpose.
We don't live in alignment with who we truly are.
We don't live in the larger context
of what we really want to live as human beings,
because we have a sense of security with that job
that pays us really beautifully.
And because of that security, that safety,
that comfort, that job and that income gives us,
we tend to push away our dreams.
We tend to push away our true purpose,
we tend to push away what we really want
to do with our lives.
And that can be dangerous in the long term.
Now, I in no way, I'm suggesting
that you should quit your job right now
because that's what you gotta do,
I think that is a decision you need to make
intellectually for yourself, spiritually for yourself.
But what I do want to ask you,
is how much did they pay you first time
to give up on your dreams?
And ask that question to your clients?
Of course not in a business
and an executive coaching setting,
but in a life coaching setting.
If your clients feel like they're not pursuing
their purpose, if they're not pursuing their alignment,
maybe you wanna ask them that question.
Maybe you wanna ask them,
"How much does that security really mean to you?"
The security of that comfortable paycheck.
And is the purpose, your alignment, your passion,
your future, more important to you
and how much do you really need to manage yourself,
before you can give the comfort of that job, that paycheck
and really invite yourself into your future
and your career that you always wanted to do,
your purpose that you always wanted to live.
The reason why these four questions are so very important
and I think invite courage in your life is because
they help you reflect on what truly is.
Get comfortable with things
that you may not be comfortable with.
Get comfortable with some of the honest truth
that you may have been hiding.
And presented to yourself or to your coach or to your client
in a way where they can finally be honest and vulnerable
and present to what's the truth about their life.
You see one of the greatest things that I've found
for somebody is to help them find their true purpose,
to help them find their true alignment.
If a client of mine can find purpose in their life
if they can be aligned to what
they really wanna create in the world,
usually it creates an unstoppable force in them.
They are spiritually aligned,
they are psychologically aligned,
they move their body and become biologically aligned,
just because they're so passionate
and so driven to create what they always wanted to create
to be aligned with the purpose and the greater calling
that they always want it to be aligned with.
And that is why these questions are so very important.
Once your client finds their purpose,
once your client finds their meaning,
once your client really starts to believe
that they can create whatever they want to
because they've gotten to that level
of honesty with themselves,
you'll find that your client becomes a force
that is unstoppable.
Your client will become a source
of energy for the rest of the world.
And that is what we are here to do as coaches.
At least that's what I believe
that we are here to do as coaches.
And that is why I invite you to firstly, ask these questions
to yourself, reflect on them, see what comes up for you.
And once that has happened invite your clients
into these questions and see what happens for them.
You will see true change happen for yourself first
and for your clients.
Now I know you must have enjoyed these questions
and you're ready to go reflect on them.
But before you do that, hit that like button,
share it with somebody
that you think can use these questions
in their coaching practice, or generally as people.
Go ahead and leave me a comment
and tell me which question really stuck out for you?
And which one got you really uncomfortable?
And how did you resolve by being honest?
I'd love to hear your stories with these questions.
Thank you so much for watching,
this is Ajit Nawalkha,
and you're watching this on Evercoach.