- I had to feed 22 horses every morning
before I earned the right to have breakfast.
Imagine an 8.5-year-old kid getting up in the dark in Canada
and going outside and opening the barn door,
and I remember, there would be like 30 rats
every time I opened the barn door,
and they would scurry around,
and I would hope that none of them would stay around.
And, one time I went back to the house and I said,
"Dad, can you come with me?"
And he locked the door and he says,
"Go out and do your chores.
And don't come back until they're done."
It was kinda the beginning of me realizing that
I wasn't in a supportive environment.
And I learned one thing, and one thing only,
is that if I was willing to work hard,
then I could get my dad's attention.
I remember waking up, I was about 13 or 14 years old,
and this was the day my dad had promised me
it was gonna be yes.
This was the day we were gonna play together.
We were gonna throw the football back and forth,
and I was super excited.
I popped out of my bed and I ran down the stairs,
and I saw my father where he always is.
His ankle is chained to the desk.
But as I got closer, I knew something was wrong.
It was like I could feel there was a heaviness in the air
and I started to get nervous.
And I went, "Dad?"
And went, "Yes?"
I went, "Uh, you ready to go play?"
And the weirdest thing happened is he turned,
he looked at me, and I felt myself shrinking down.
And he stood up, and this shadow cast over me, and he goes,
"Do you have any idea what it takes
to put food on the table?"
Do you think that this roof just puts itself there?
Money doesn't grow on trees, you know?
One day you're gonna have to work hard for money.
Now, get out and play on your own before I put you to work."
And I turned around and I walked out,
and I never asked him again to play, ever.
I don't have one memory of playing with my dad, not one.
The only way I connected with him
was when he was working around the house doing chore,
I'd say, "Dad, can I help you?"
I'd hand him the nails, or I'd hold the measuring tape.
It was the only way.
He never once, he never came to my hockey games.
He dropped me off in the car and stayed in the car.
All the other parents were tying the skates,
I was there alone.
I would try to score as many goals as I could
so I could go and then tell him I scored the winning goals
so he'd want and come look, but he never did.
I remember winning honors in school
for academic achievement, looking out in the crowd
hoping to see my dad, but he was never there.
So the only solace I had was to work hard.
So, I doubled down on that.
And I worked hard.
And, I'd call him out to look at the task being done
and invariably, it was never good enough.
So, I doubled down again and work harder.
It didn't feel good at the time.
But, in life if you do what is easy,
life will be difficult.
But, if you do what is difficult, life will be easy.
I got the difficult part out front.
And I got really good at it.
By the time I was 14,
I saved up enough money to get a scooter.
By the time I was 16 I had my first car.
By the time I was 17, I thought; you know what?
I'm outta here, this sucks.
I mean, I could go out and make four times the amount
of money living on my own
even if I have to pay rent, I don't care.
So, I moved out, I drove a taxi.
I did carpentry, I cut lawns, I washed windows,
I did anything that was hard work.
Because that's all I knew.
Then, my life changed.
I got a call from my stepmom and she said,
"You're dad has cancer."
So, I jumped on a plane and I did everything I could.
I took care of the house.
He said to me he had some back taxes
from Canada that were unpaid.
I said, "Yes, I'll pay them for you".
I did everything I possibly could.
I remember the day I had to leave to back
to take care of my family, I had a young son at the time.
And they had nothing left.
And I asked my dad, he was probably about 98 pounds,
Laying in the bed, and I said,
"Dad, can you think of a time when I made you proud?"
and I'm thinking to myself, my god, there was a whole bunch.
I was almost a millionaire by that time.
I had done so many things, I had risen up,
I'd opened a restaurant, I'd learned a new language,
I'd done so many things.
This was gonna be the time that was gonna go,
"Of course son, let me read from a list."
But instead, he said,
"Nothing that I can think of."
And I don't know if it broke my spirit,
or if I thought I'd hit rock bottom I hit another layer,
but when I got back home actually, I was fired from my job,
my marriage had fallen apart,
I had no money left, that I'd paid to support him,
so got evicted from my apartment, and I moved back in
with my mom at the age of 30.
So, there I am, 30 years old working 16 hours a day
for 20 years and I have absolutely nothing to show for it,
except maybe a skill set on how to work hard.
But, I'll tell you what,
when you're down there and think there's nothing left,
it's the foundation to grow from.
I thought, what am I gonna do now?
And some little bird, mentioned real estate.
So, I thought I'd get into real estate.
And I got into real estate and that's when I met my first
mentor that transformed my life.
I was in my office one night really late
and I was having a conversation with my mentor.
And he walks in and he leans against the door, and he goes,
"You're still here?"
and I said, "Yeah."
And he goes, "you really have a great work ethic."
And I went, "You talkin' to me?"
He said, "Yeah, I'm talkin' to you."
He goes, "You're awesome."
I'm like, "Are you still talking to me?"
I guess I never had anybody tell me
that they believed in me.
My father certainly was always,
"You could do better.
You could do better.
You could do better."
Ya, it drove me, but it didn't make me feel confident.
And I doubted it at first.
And we started to talk, and he goes,
"Oh, so you've labeled yourself stupid, as a loser,
and a skinny little kid."
He goes, "How do you feel about that?"
and I said, "I still feel that way."
He says, "You're 30 years old."
I go, "Yeah, I know."
But, I still felt that way inside.
He says, "Okay, well, we're gonna change that.
Who's an idol that you have?"
I said, "Well, one of my favorite is Clint Eastwood.
He's like, rugged.
I'm kind of rugged, I feel rugged."
He goes, "Perfect, how does that feel when you say that?"
I said, "It feels pretty good."
He goes, "That's it!
I want you to say that a 1000 times.
A 1000 times everyday, or more if you want.
Loser out, ruggedly handsome in.
So, now what we're gonna do,
is we're gonna reprogram your brain.
Your brain is like software, we're just gonna reprogram it."
I said, "How do I do that?"
He goes, "Just every time you have a chance,
just say, I'm ruggedly handsome, I'm ruggedly handsome."
He said, "The words that follow I am, follow you,
you just didn't know it.
You had shitty programming.
But, now we're gonna change that and change that forever."
And I remember driving home, I was so excited.
I was so excited because I could change my programming.
I didn't know it.
I thought I was stuck that way my whole life.
And all I had to do was have the energy
to put into changing the way I see myself.
And it was so..
I just said it over and over, I was screaming in the car,
"I'm ruggedly handsome, I'm ruggedly handsome,
I'm ruggedly handsome."
I'd get up in the morning, I'd say it over and over
and over again.
I'd say it as much as I possibly could.
And then spontaneously, one morning, I was in the shower
and I said, "I'm the greatest real estate agent in my area.
I'm the greatest real estate agent in my area."
I went from one sale in my first year
to, in a few years, a 100 sales.
I broke every record there was
and then I bought the fricken company.
I went from farm boy to financially free.
I became resourceful, I became capable of doing things
I didn't know I was gonna do.
The most powerful force in the human psyche
is how we describe ourselves to ourself.
Who's giving you labels?
You're too short, you're too tall,
you're quite, you're introverted.
You take on those labels,
and you wear them like they're your persona.
Then, you live into them.
Like a role that you were given in life.
You can rewrite that.
You can make it whatever you want.
Insert it and then program it.
I am, I am, you are what?
Gifted, guided, grateful, powerful, passionate, playful,
sexy, sensual, sensitive, blessed, what are you?
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
You get to redefine yourself, so who are you?
And who do you wanna be?
The words that follow I am, follow you.
(intense music)