hi hi barbara i was looking for your ipad yep and i saw this picture yep what what is this
well uh it's pretty much what i'm doing now i have the same pants on these are pants that's
part of my leg that's part of my shoe so that's me sitting in a chair kind of like i'm doing now
wait so i think what happened here the camera went off accidentally
oh so this isn't really a saved photo well i saved it because you know it's me for god's sakes huh
all right let's see if there's anything else all right all right let's see what we got here
this i don't mind that no what about that now look at that
uh if you look closely it's two or three different varieties of popcorn see here the popcorn is nubby
there's little nubs on it then there it's smooth those are two different varieties
of popcorn and these knobby ones i didn't care for the way they looked but i ate them anyway so
i'm not i don't know is this just you making popcorn and then photograph no i got a guy in
kansas city who typically will send me popcorn no that of course that's me popping corn
yeah okay this is good
yeah that's a scene from uh the lady eve with henry fonda and barbara stanwick so what made you
you you i sent it to my friend jeff altman because it's uh indicates behavior that i would expect
from my friend jeff he enjoyed it i bet he did yeah yeah this is um i still have this i purchased
this wait you still have this burger yeah that very one i still have it i purchased it now maybe
six weeks to two months ago and i keep it in the refrigerator and it it it has not changed from
the minute i purchased it it looks exactly like this yes and it looks delicious so ready to go
ready to go and i i am confident were one to bite into that you would be dead
but i like the picture it looks delicious
oh i know there's one that i i noticed before that i looked delicious oh how about the yeah
let's do that yeah that looks like the perfect egg no this is a trompe lloyd but because that's
well it looks like the perfect egg in fact is glass is it really glossy yes it really
is glass i'm delighted by that because it i just think it's lovely it isn't it's gorgeous thank
you i mean i i all i did was buy it wait so was this sort of like a little joke around the house
it was uh until my son walked in and said well what's this glass thing doing in the skillet
right after that it had been hilarious yeah i would have i would have thought that that
would have been hilarious so did i oh what are you doing here well as you can see that's me
that's gas city and this is uh one of the few kidnappings that has a happy ending i was just uh
shoved out of the car my hands were untied and there i was in gas city
you look kind of happy for a kidney well to be free and also
how can you not be happy in a town called gas city sure yeah you rarely hear about the happy
ending of kidnappings that's true yeah that is completely true i'm looking for oh yeah here we go
a lot of food pictures on here yeah look at that that's a really good looking potato it
sure is but again it's actually a rock and i i couldn't decide whether the utensils enhanced
the gag or the slab of butter enhanced the gag or in fact was it you only had to be there
and have it put down in front of you and then you try to cut into it and then the laughter begins
now did you find this rock and think oh wait that looks like a potato i know what i'm going
to do no i got a guy in cincinnati a rock guy who is always on the lookout
for rocks that resemble food and when he comes across one shoots it right off to me
wow that's a lot in postage sarcasm the wit of a dull man
i should have pre-thought a closer here i don't mind these i kind of like those i i just like the
it's it's not perfectly polar but
it is uh as symmetrical as i could have gotten it oh sorry brother
yeah just a cup of coffee yeah nice looking cup of coffee thank you
and as you know without the caffeine i'd have no personality i haven't heard that it's true
but you had many years of decaf oh here's another good-looking brownie nice looking brownie
thank you for playing along uh again it's a rock but uh i'd well here is interesting
interesting to me only uh when i had the rock and i put the butter on it and i thought
to indicate that this was fresh out of the oven i put the rock with the butter and the microwave
and the second attempt the rock exploded oh no did it really in
the microwave so say goodbye to the uh rock now when you do these rock gags
does your family enjoy them no no they're they're tired of almost everything i do i i do this for
company and typically people will look at it and say oh what is this a rock so i mean i'm
i'm glad uh that you're amused by it i i kind of enjoy it but oh i know what our closer is
oh it's that um well i like this photo because i didn't really take this photo this is an accident
yes this was taken in santa barbara and i had been persuaded by my friends peers and family
to get rid of my old cell phone right so i got a brand new cell phone and i thought i was taking a
picture of of dinner just it was like a day or two in my possession and uh i triggered
the camera obviously in the wrong direction and the flash that's
how this is what happens to an old man when he startled i really thought death was upon me
this picture that's right might be one of my favorites ever that in
terms of the family reaction that was also one of their favorites
yes dad doesn't know how to operate the cell phone i have to say i find this very enjoyable
that's right i mean you think about a way the infinite number of ways i could meet my demise
just there's the picture i mean seconds before
not that this hasn't happened to me but it's much more fun that it happened to you
yeah and it is authentic if you buy this i can have the paperwork to verify the authenticity
yeah well that's pretty good i i think uh i think we've got over let's leave it there yeah thank you
you