- In the dead of night!
That's so dramatic. (laughs) (beeps into next screen)
When Iʼm alone in my room alone in my room
sometimes I stare at the wall,
and wonder to myself.
I say, "Self."
And myself be like, "Oh, what you wonder?"
And I wonder when my time will come.
You know?
When will I be called out?
Or worse, canceled.
Hey YouTube World, itʼs me, Evelyn.
Last year, I made a video about my biggest fear.
(static cutting to older video)
My biggest fear is getting dragged by Black Twitter.
And I mean, y'all tell me,
it seems like things have only picked up since then,
in public-facing news as a whole.
More controversies, more scandals,
things that are well deserved and a long time coming,
and then some things that are just a reach
like Kevin Durant arm span, ol' Gumby arm.
The term Call-out Culture has been coined
by who I dunno, iʼm not finna' look it up.
Every day weʼre made aware of the ways big
and small that our faves are flaming garbage!
And it all makes me a little nervous to be honest,
because I dunno know if y'all noticed but,
Iʼm not perfect.
(static cutting to older video)
Iʼm not perfect, I never said I was perfect!
(static cutting to current video)
So in an effort to preempt what feels
like the inevitable, in this video,
I'm gonna call myself out!
Okay, I'ma beat you to it, boop!
Number one, yes, I was Pocahontas for Halloween one year.
Yes, there are photos.
Yes, that's me trying to paint
with all the colors of the wind.
At the time, I felt like I was fulfilling a childhood dream.
And I knew the concept of my culture is not a costume,
but I thought that applied to generic things
like being a Mexican.
I thought it was okay if I was like a very specific
character, like Disneyʼs Pocahontas.
(tisking)
Isn't that cosplay?
Number two, mm-mm,
I do not immediately,
if ever to be honest, boycott corporations
even when their policies
or the actions of their employees,
or even CEO directly conflict with my existence
or my personal values and beliefs, or even casual opinions.
Okay, and yes, so yes, I am a part of the problem
and I am the reason why we can't band together
to overthrow and eventually eat the rich.
But, Chick Fil A is just gonna have to satiate
me for now 'cause it's delicious and I'm not there yet.
Iʼm not there--
Number three, and this one was brought to my attention
by a very disturbed and creepy person who,
in the Spring/Summer of 2018, scrolled through Instagram
to find a photo of me from the Summer of 2013.
That is five years worth of photos!
It is a photo of me wearing a shirt.
On it, is the flag of the United States of America.
And, I am also doing a hand gesture one could call a salute,
(clicking tongue) which would lead you to believe
that not only am I proud to be an American,
but that I personally condone
the atrocities this countryʼs government has committed
against people domestically and internationally
from pre-colonial times until present day.
This person scrolled through five years of photos
and commented something like, "Ew,"
they said "Ew" which I thought was interesting.
"Ew, I can't believe you would support the flag of
"the colonizer, the emblem of the oppressor,"
or something like that.
I dunno, I deleted the comment because I was being immature.
Alright, I deleted the comment because not only was
I creeped out by someone who scrolled through FIVE--
But also, I was just annoyed, alright.
It was an annoying comment.
And the immaturity in me wanted to be like "Okay,
"but you probably throw down for Thanksgiving dinner!"
"Don't you, AKA a day of mourning, don't you?"
"You probably vote in elections, don't you!"
"You probably use the master's tools to dismantle"
"the master's house, don't you!"
"And you've probably participated in an Old Navy Fourth
"of July sale at least one time, once, leave me alone!"
I love a good flip flop.
Number four, for the purpose of this video,
I tried to look back through my Twitter
to find problematic tweets.
Now, apparently your girl got 41,000 Tweets
spanning a decade.
I couldn't even stomach it, to be honest.
I almost deleted my Twitter on site.
All that trash is in the library of congress!
In my mind, sitting next to a digital copy,
of I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings is a Tweet by me
about how pizza is delicious.
And it really made me wonder, how some of y'all
be finding the problematic Tweets.
Who got the time, who got the patience, who is paying y'all?
Low key I'm still thinking about deleting
all my Tweets and I gave up tryna comb through
and find the problematic Tweets in there; although,
I know it exists.
I know it exists, because Iʼm not perfect!
(static cutting to older video)
I'm not perfect, I never said I was perfect.
(static cutting to current video)
Okay, so whatʼs the point of all of this?
I donʼt want to revel in being problematic,
or be satisfied in my ignorance and I don't wanna be happy
with not learning or not growing.
Quite the opposite, actually.
This was a good exercise for me to serve as a reminder
to practice patience and grace with other people
because I am going to really want that same mercy
extended to me when the time comes.
(static cutting to old video)
If I ever say something to offend you,
if I ever say something hurtful,
you don't have to associate with me.
I understand the concept of impact versus intent.
I understand, really I do.
Really, I do understand.
I get. I'm just saying remember me. (static cutting to current video)
I donʼt wanna be canceled.
Held accountable, sure, if I must.
Yes. Yes.
And I'm not talking about crimes, that's another thing.
That's... if you-- find a restorative justice activist,
I'm not the one. But--
Oh my gosh, she used to fat shame on Instagram
and now sheʼs like all body posi. (laughs)
And I'm like "Girl, isn't that, isn't that a good thing?"
"Isn't that what we want?"
When you know better, you do,
ideally, you do better.
If you donʼt think peopleʼs opinions and mind sets
can change overtime as they grow and as they learn,
and instead you would just prefer to toss them
like the flaming garbage, that they are
then go ahead, Oscar, save me a seat!
More and more we have the ability
to share opinions that nobody asked for.
Matter of fact, you didnʼt ask for this, for this video.
Alright, but you click on it,
so I'ma put that one on you.
The things that I thought versus the things that I think
versus the things I will think in the future
about race or religion or sexuality or Azelia Banks
or government, politics, capitalism, Kanye West,
all those things are shifting.
And get this, everything I think
doesn't need to be a public statement.
Instead they can become personal conversations
that I have with people that I care about
or people in my immediate environment.
And maybe, I'm showing a little bit of my bias here
because I have access to people
and maybe if you live in a homogeneous community
maybe you don't have access to different types of people
and I understand that
like, Twitter can be helpful
if you're tryna reach out and learn.
But I still believe that as far as progress goes,
that if you're in the arguing mood, argue with your uncle
at the family reunion this Summer.
Don't argue on a Facebook status
with a Ralph Wilkerson from West Virginia.
I think what makes me the most nervous
about call out culture is it creates
this immense amount of pressure to be perfect.
And instead of trying to go out into the world
and connect with people and find truth, we bottle it up
and stew in our own ignorant juices.
'Cause weʼre scared of being wrong.
Ah, Iʼm so sorry.
Isnʼt that cosplay though?
Okay, okay!
All these thoughts came about because Iʼm about
to dig into Franchesca Ramseyʼs new book,
Well That Escalated Quickly.
And I feel like she feels me on this topic.
That makes me double interested in the book
because, to be honest, I viewed Franchesca
as a knuck if you bucker on the internet
and I think it's cool that it seems
like sheʼs realized that you canʼt spend
your time slamming people.
Her book is available on (clicks tongue) Audible
and she narrated it.
So I'm really excited to listen.
Shout out to Audible for sponsoring today's video.
They have a massive selection of audio books, podcasts
and other types of programing you can listen to.
Books to get yo' mind right, you know what I'm sayin'?
So you can be a better human being.
You can press play on an audiobook and listen during
that hike, that road trip, that summer vacation.
To start your free 30-day trial membership,
visit audible.com/evelyn.
E-V-E-L-Y-N, or text EVELYN, to 500-500.
You get a free audiobook, you can download my recommendation
which I'm about to start reading.
Franchesca Ramseyʼs book Well That Escalated Quickly,
or you can choose which ever book you can find on Audible.
The book is yours to keep,
even if you donʼt continue your membership
because Audible ain't triflin'.
Alright, so visit Audible.com/evelyn.
Or, text EVELYN to 500-500.
In the comments below, be honest.
Tell me about a time where you learned better,
so you did better.
If this whole video wasn't enough,
I'll go first in the comments, right now.
See you there, then I will see you
on the internet somewhere, bye!