He's online, but he's not answering your messages. He's read your text, but he hasn't responded.
He says he wants a date, but he hasn't clarified plans. These are situations, questions that
women come to me with all the fricking time. "What to do when a guy ignores me?" is their
question. And you know, I actually did another video on this. It was one of my first videos
and I outlined in it the practical steps what you practically need to do when a guy ignores
you. So I'll pop the link to that up here and in the description.
Today, I want to talk about those something even more important. It's what to be thinking when a guy ignores
you. What should your emotional mental response be? See a lot of women who come to me when
the guy's ignoring them, they're asking themselves questions like, "Does he still like me?
How do I get him to respond and why is he doing this to me?" This is the common internal
dialogue that most women, when a guy's ignoring them, not responding to their texts, whatever,
come to me with. And so I tell them, here's one simple thought, one simple thought to
replace all of these. This guy is fricking rude! That's what it is! When you ignore someone,
it's rude behavior and keeping this simple thought in your mind keeps everything else
in perspective. Instead of asking, "Does this mean he's lost interest?" You're going to be
asking yourself, "He's rude and I'm losing interest." Instead of saying to yourself, "How
do I get him to respond?" You're going to be saying, "He's rude and now I'm not even sure
I want him to respond." Instead of saying, "Why does he do this to me?" You're going to
be saying, "This guy's an idiot, and he's being rude. Why is he losing me and doing this to himself?"
Now, I recently posted a video on when a dating coach gets ghosted, where I talk about a story
where in my own life, I was ghosted, and I had to apply this exact mindset because this woman
was amazing in person, beautiful, warm, and then just frankly rude over text - didn't get
back to me, didn't tell me what was going on. It was just poor behavior. And you know,
I'm going to be honest with you, there's part of the attachment system that wants those
people. There was part of my attachment system that made her weird avoidance want her more.
However, it's a fallacy and I knew that. And I knew more importantly, I didn't want that
rudeness in my life. You've got to be thinking this way. Your dating becomes your relationships.
If you accept rudeness in your dating, you're giving the green light to rudeness in your relationships.
Now, I'm not saying you're always going to be able to expect an instant response and
anything short of that is rude. I have a huge amount of respect for people who can put their
phones away, whether it's with friends, at the gym, at work. If you can put your phone
away and be in the moment, I think that's really fricking cool. Here's the bottom line
though, if a guy hasn't got back to you in 12 to 24 hours and your text indicated a response
that is rude. Now, there will be exceptions, and he'll apologize and explain those exceptions
and you'll figure out that he wasn't actually being rude, but remember, what you accept in
your dating, you're inviting into your relationships. If you give the green light to rudeness there,
you give the green light to rudeness in your relationships. Before I go, there's a quick
truth bomb that may or may not apply to you. Be honest with me right now. Are you one of
the women who actually enjoys this? I don't mean that you enjoy rudeness and I don't even
mean that it feels good. What I mean is that this part of your brain that actually enjoys
the drama. If you're not sure, ask yourself this question. When a man acts like this,
when a man is distant, rude, non-responsive, do you become more interested in him or less?
If you do find yourself becoming more interested in these rude types of men, that's fine. Own it.
In the future, you've got to look to switch that pattern and become less interested in
these guys. It's going to be weird for you at first, and it might even be uncomfortable
to have a guy that is emotionally available in there, but in the end, that's the quality
guy who's going to respond to you and perhaps, unlike people in your past, give you the fulfilling
relationship, love relationship that you've been looking for. Well, that's the video. Ignoring
is rude bottom line. Thank you for watching! Let me know your thoughts, comments, questions,
everything in the space below. Hit the like button as well as the big red subscribe button
with the little bell and leave your thoughts, comments, questions as you always do in the
area below. Thanks again for watching and I'll see you soon.
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