- What up, everyone? It's your girl, Superwoman.
And if you're watching this video, one of two things
probably happened.
Number one.
You enjoy my videos and you're excited to watch this one.
Number two.
You clicked on that and then ended up here and now
you're watching one of my videos for the first time.
Hi! Welcome. My name is Lilly, and I look forward to
your positive comment or your hate comment.
Either way, thanks for your time and effort.
Speaking of comments, I get a lot of them.
In fact, in my lifetime, I've gotten three million seven
hundred and forty six -- how do you even say that number?
3,746,449 comments, wowzers!
To give you some context, that's about half as many
relationships I've failed in.
[laughs sarcastically]
So having said that, I think I'm qualified to tell you
what YouTube comments really mean.
"First!"
I think I'm the first person to watch this video,
when in reality, I'm probably like the 70th person
to watch this video, I just haven't refreshed my screen
yet. In a few seconds, when I do, all of my dreams
will be crushed.
"Second!"
Yo, I have no idea what this video is about, but I have to
hurry up and comment 'Second' because there is no way
I'm going to be third.
"Everyone who comments 'First' is so dumb, like do
you want a cookie?"
I'm so pissed I didn't get first comment!
"Go back to the kitchen and make me a sandwich."
I have never had a girlfriend and I genuinely make
poor life choices. For example, right now I'm wearing
socks with my Crocs. There's also a stain on my shirt.
"You're a terrorist."
My brain is controlled by the media, and I blindly accept
information. Now, I'd love to stay and chat, but I have
to forward this scary email to 70 people in the next
seven minutes or a ghost is going to kill me.
"Wait, how are there 1000 likes but only 700 views?"
This is my first time on the Internet and I can't believe
I've already found a glitch on YouTube.
Honestly, I thought the Internet was smart.
Better call Google and tell them from
my Motorola flip phone.
"Gay."
I don't know how to use words properly, and therefore,
I'm suggesting that this video enjoys sexual intercourse
with videos of the same sex.
"I love this video. Also, I make my own videos and
I would really love if you gave me a chance and
checked them out."
Okay I'm going to be real, I didn't really watch this video.
Okay, but I'm just going to copy and paste the same
comment under a bunch of YouTube videos because
I'm an entrepreneur and I want views.
Also, I'm going to make this comment bold.
"I ship them so badly."
Okay. I see two people in the same video that may or may
not be compatible. Okay, whatever. Okay, fine.
They're brother and sister. Whatever.
But the idea of them taking cute Instagram pictures
together and having babies excites me.
Therefore, I feel qualified to make their life decisions.
So, get married. Don't be selfish.
"I want to (bleep) the (bleep) out of you."
Last night, I texted a girl and asked her to
Netflix and chill. Then, she came over and we
just Netflixed and chilled!
We watched The Notebook.
And I'm really frustrated about it.
"You're not funny and you suck and I hate you
and you're dumb and you're ugly."
I like run-on sentences. Also, I wish they would invent
this button on my Internet window that like,
closed it, you know, so I didn't have to, like, watch
these videos against my will.
"I can totally relate. This happens to me all the time."
Oh my god, this Internet stranger understands me better than
anyone else in my life.
Okay, I need to be their friend immediately.
"I wasn't particularly fond of this video, because of XYZ."
I'm an adult who has an opinion. Chances are I dress well
and when I invite people to my birthday, they come.
"Dumb."
I'm that person that responds to text messages with 'K.'
"Shut up."
I don't understand how comments work.
Also, I'm that person that's driving and has to turn down
the volume because I'm trying to read a street sign.
"Go die."
If Mufasa and The Joker had a baby, it would be me.
Having said that, I truly appreciate all the comments,
especially the supportive ones, which is why I'm going
to take some time right now and respond to as many
as I can.
So take a second, and comment below.
Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.
I mean if you want.
It's really your choice.
And before you leave and carry on with your life,
one second.
Yo, have you downloaded my app yet?
Yo, hold up.
Download my Unicorn Island app.
It is free for iPhone and Android, and I'm going to
convince you why for the following reasons.
Number one.
There's an awesomesauce game in the app called
Flappy Unicorn and every week I'm going to give a
shoutout to whoever has a high score.
Shoutouts to SyRoCKs2908 for a score of 160 and if
I didn't say your username correctly,
then leave a hate comment.
Number two. There's something called Fan Art Friday
where if you post your fan art in the app, I will print
someone's fan art on a t-shirt and wear it in a video.
Number three. It's free!
Why the 'F' would you not?
All the links to download the app are in the description
or you can click the little 'I' in the corner of your screen
Look at all the fancy technology!
If you enjoyed this video, make sure you give a big
thumbs up. You can check out my last video right there.
It's called "Why I Am A Cheap Person."
If you're on your phone and your annotations don't work,
I'll put the link in the description.
You can also check out my latest vlog right there.
I do those every single day, so make sure you subscribe
to that second channel, and make sure you subscribe
because I make new videos every Monday and Thursday,
and I'd love for you to be there.
I hope you're happy and chillin' and cool and, okay.
Well, I am Superwoman. That is a wrap!
[beatboxes]