So, you saw the title of this video. How to release bottled up emotions?
Is there really a safe way to do this?
You know those days where all of a sudden you unload a whole bunch of
emotion on one of your kids? Or maybe you you unload all this emotion on some
innocent by-standard? And then afterwards you're asking yourself the question, "How
come I can't manage myself?" And you can really notice that. You were out
of control in that moment. Like, literally, your emotions took over and you were out
of control. I'm here for you today because you are
in a place where it's time to really start to know how to manage these
emotions. So, that they don't pop up and unload on somebody in an unexpected
moment. And you've probably have seen it. When when you have done this. What it
does to the other person? And it takes days to get over it.
Can't believe that you actually were that much out of control. Boy, do I know
this scene. I know this really, really well about my life and about where I was.
I didn't know much about emotions. I didn't know where they came from, what
they are, how they work? And then really how to manage these things, so
that you can actually be better at this. And not be out of control. But to be able
to be in that management place, that mastery place where emotions don't run
your life. where you literally are choosing the emotions not the emotions
controlling you. So, let's talk about where this comes from.
You know, emotions we can generate them on the inside of us. Other people
can actually unload their emotions on us and those emotions get inside of us. Well,
let's talk about the damage that this causes. When somebody unloads
emotion and it dose in on a person, that emotion literally fills up their
personal space. It gets in their body, gets around them and that emotion fills
up. And when this person has that emotions fill-up, clear to the top. When they
get hit the top of all the emotion that they can handle, what happens is this
person has a moment where they have to dump or unload the emotion on somebody
else. And the number 1 target to unload emotion is on other people. So, now
this person is full. So, now it starts to spill over or they just literally dump
it on somebody else. Now, that builds up. Maybe this is Mom or Dad and this is Mom
or Dad. They're dumping back and forth from each other. But when it gets full
and they're both maxed out with emotion, guess who gets it next? It spills out
over on top of the kids. Now, those kids, they don't know what to do with that
emotion. They don't know what to do with this adult style emotion. And so, the only
thing a kid knows how to do is to act out that emotion. Almost like they're
burning it like fuel. And so, the kids they they don't know how to manage
emotions. So, they just burn it up his fuel. So, if somebody has a child, has a
bunch of negative emotion in them, they're going to act out, be disobedient,
disrespectful. And it's because they're just trying to get rid of all that
emotion that's in them. That probably is being passed back and forth between the
parents. And now, the whole entire family is infested or the whole office is
infested. So, somebody in this process has got to do something different. They got
to do something different because unloading your feelings on other people
just doesn't work. It doesn't work and what we're doing is we're just passing
this negative emotion back and forth. Between siblings. Between, you know, you
and your spouse or you and other people at work. And it just doesn't go away.
Somebody's going to take that emotion and take it somewhere else and get rid of it.
What if instead of dumping it on a person, what if this emotion that was all filled up
inside of you. What if it came out and it went on a piece of paper instead of
people? I think that's a good idea. I think we ought of manage
our emotions out on paper instead of on people. Wow! I think that's a great move.
That we all ought to start doing. Because I don't like when somebody unloads their
emotions on me. It's like, "Wait a second, there's years of backed up emotion in
that person. Here they are loading it on me."
So, really, the place in our life we really ought to be the most responsible
is how we manage our emotions. And if you don't manage your emotions well, I think
today is a great day to get started on that.
So, emotion mastery. First, understanding where it's all coming from and how this
all happens between you and other people. And be the kind of person who makes a
change and literally instead of unloading emotion on people, we unload it
on paper. Because it's a lot safer. It'll keep your marriage together and keep
your family together and keep your business together, keep your employees
working better with each other. If they can learn a technique of how to get that
emotion out and not have it being dumped on people. Another thing we've got to
stop doing when it comes to managing our emotion is stop blaming other people for
making us feel a certain way. If somebody else makes us mad or makes us upset and
we actually talk that way. Like, "Oh so-and-so makes me so mad." They don't
make you mad. You're the one who makes the emotion. It's you, this right here... The
reason why people blame emotions on other people, so that they don't have to
do anything. Because if we actually owned our emotions, we would not say somebody
else is making me mad. Because that is giving them all the power and
all the authority about how we feel. But your move starting today is to stop
blaming other people why you feel the way you feel. And actually begin to have
ownership over your own emotions. You can't fix what you can't see and as
long as you're blaming, you're blind -- to what's going on inside of you. So, stop
the blaming. That's nobody else makes you feel a certain way. You're the one in
charge of your emotions. The other thing is stop making the excuses. Stop the
excuses of why you're stuck in an emotion.
There's something has to change your and part of being in an emotional management
state. It means that you're not blaming, there's no excuses and you're not going to
unload on people. These are the 3 biggest reasons why people are
emotionally out of control. And I bet you know a few people who are like that. So,
this way you start doing. This is how you take and get a really good start at this,
so that you can make a difference in your life. The first thing you're going to
do is you're going to start having daily unload techniques. Now, what does that
look like? What's an emotional unloading technique? Super simple. Really
simple. It's something you can start like right now. You pull out a pad of paper
and write down how you feel. All those negative thoughts, frustrating
discouraging, sad, embarrassing aggravating, ticked off. All those
emotions. Everything that's going on. Just write it all down on paper. Super easy.
You can grab a pad of paper right now. Somewhere next to you and begin writing
these things down. And so, now you are unloading on paper not people. If you
wait and you don't do this, you're going to unload on a person. And when you want to
load on a person, you're going to hurt them. Don't do it. So, daily unloading is
write it on paper, tear the piece of paper off, throw it away. Another way to do this
is go for a walk. Go for a walk. Go for a 10-minute walk and just rant.
Completely just complain. But nobody's around to hear it. You're not dragging
your spouse with you or kids with you, so they can listen to you complain.
No. You're just verbalizing it. So, you either write it or you verbalize it. Now,
another thing you could do is you could actually exercise it out of you.
Go do a really intense exercise and kind of mumble and grumble the whole way
about things. And you'll burn that energy off. Remember, we unload on paper not
people. Don't hurt people. Emotion needs to be managed. Okay, second thing you got to
start here is be conscious of how you feel in every moment. Now, how do you do
that? Well, right now check-in. Do some inventory, you know, do
some inventory. Like how do I feel right now?
Write down all the hurtful thoughts and all the feelings. And write down
all your good feelings. Part of managing and getting better at this is knowing
where you are right now. You get in your car and you check the gas gauge. You know,
the well the other day I was driving home. Just at the intersection down the
street. There's a lady sitting right in front of me in her vehicle and she's not
moving. So, I pull up next to her and I roll down the window. And Kim and I, we
look through the window like, "Hey, you okay?" And she goes, "Ran out of gas." We was
like, "Whoa! How'd she run out of gas?" There's a gas gauge unless it was broken,
right? There's a gas gauge. So, where's our emotional gauges? Where are those
emotional gauges? Do you know if you're reaching that top full level and you're
about ready to explode on somebody? Can you even gauge this? You can't gauge it
until you start being conscious. So, start paying attention. And every moment, really
how you are and how deep you are in these emotions. And then the last one is,
after you unload each day on paper or go for a walk or go exercise and exercise
it out of you and your being conscious. The next thing is charge yourself up
with the emotions that you do want. If you want joy then you pick joy all day
long. You want to be happy? You be happy all day long. And if you don't know how
to be happy, really easy. Really easy. Find someone who is happy and act like them.
Right? It's not difficult to charge yourself with an emotion. You just look
around and go, "I like that person, how they're acting. I'm going to call that happy.
I'm going to be that person." It is not difficult. But it is difficult when you
are still wallowing and the full cup of negative emotion. You can't see anything.
You're not going to change. But daily unloading. Just write down your thoughts
and peace paper throw it away. Go for a walk and rant every single day. Charge
yourself with the emotions you want. Because until we do this. Until
you start doing something like this. You're going to just dump it in someone
else's cup. We need to unload on paper not on people. Don't be part of the
problem. Be part of the solution. Hey, did you enjoy
the video? Hey, what other ways do you know about how to release bottled up
emotions? Comment below. Tell me what your ideas are and what you found that really
works in your life.