Focus. You can do this.
Breathe.
Didn't start this war, but I'm damn well gonna finish it.
Hello! HQ, wakey wakey!
Soldier 76. I've got you in my sights.
Oh, hi, Jack. Wasn't D.Va suppose be on the comps?
EAT MY ZERG RUSH, BITCHES!
She's upstairs playing those games of hers, so I'm all suited up and ready to roll instead.
AH, MY LEG!
We've got a big job to escort the big payload.
So I need one of those sweet override codes real sharpish!
Jack?
Coming right up. All right, let's see, it's here somewhere...
Jack, we really need-
Stand by, Lena. I'm turning your volume up.
Thanks, I-
(Mute)
Uh, we've lost audio... Stand by!
Is my butt... still a killer?
Look at it and tell me the TRUTH!
Yeah, sure. It's still a killer butt.
Not that I would know. I mean how could I?
I'm not like I'm an expert on guy's butts or anything like that...
(The laugh of shame...)
Bollocks, we've lost HQ. Comps must be scuppered...
Check...
...Omni-book.
(Smooth jazz OW theme plays)
Soldier 76: How to turn friends on?
Soldier 76: How to get friends turned on now?
Reinheardt: (German) Sexy time with Soldier 69!
Mercy: Are you well Jack?
Soldier 76: Why friends silent?!
Reaper: The fool thinks he's on Google!
Reaper: LMAO!
Reaper: (Hysterical laughter)
Mercy: That's uncalled for.
Reaper: Classic!
Sombra: (Spanish) Dumbass! (Laughs) LOL!
Sombra: This will fix everything Jack. Trust me...
Soldier 76: (Relieved sigh) Thanks Sombra. You're so good with this Gigabot stuff.
(The "Grandpa f***ed up bois" alarm)
(Triple explosion)
ENOUGH! Soldier 76, step away from the console!
Brother banana's beard! What have you done?
I was tagging those Lucio Ball picnic photos while I waited for that download to install...
Download?
(barrier activated)
You know, that was such a lovely afternoon. Even Hana got some sunshine.
A-and all it takes is two fellas grunting in a tent and suddenly no one takes cowboys seriously anymore.
Jessie, did you hear that?
(Boom)
Wahoo!!!