If you are like me then whenever you have to talk to a stranger
these thoughts come to your mind also.
'Am I looking okay?'
'What if they don't like me?'
'OMG...but my English is so bad.'
'What if they think I am stupid?'
I was shit scared of talking to new people too
but even then, I went on to represent India
at the World Championship of Public Speaking at Florida, USA
after winning 4 rounds.
And if I can stand on that stage
and talk to hundreds of strangers, without peeing my pants
then so can you. And today I am going to tell you exactly how.
So it doesn't matter if you just want to go to a stranger and say 'Hi',
give a smashing presentation infront of hundreds of strangers
or simply ask a guy or a girl out on a date;
today by the end of this video, you will learn
how to be confident while talking to strangers.
So in today's video we are going to learn
how to talk to one stranger,
how to talk to 10-12 strangers in a Group Discussion, especially during interviews.
And finally we are going to see how to master public speaking
and give brilliant presentations; be it in your school or in your office.
But most importantly, towards the end, I'll give you a Bonus Tip
that will turn the tables and make you fall in love
with talking to strangers.
But before that, if you like what I am saying
make sure you hit that big fat 'Like' button
because that motivates me to make more videos.
Let's begin.
See, all of us have a close group of friends and family
that we are very comfortable talking to.
But when it comes to talking to somebody outside this group,
we think twice about it, our heart starts beating faster
and some of us even start sweating.
So here are the 3 things that you must do
to keep your heart-rate in check.
1. Realise that you do not have to be perfect.
I want you to think about the top 3 villains that you hate.
Mine are Regina George from Mean Girls,
Kamolika from Kasauti
and ofcourse, Thanos.
If you think about it, all of these 3 characters
are smart, dress great and are...
Perfect.
And that's why we hate them.
Being perfect will not make people like you.
On the contrary, it will make people dislike you.
Whenever you are talking to someone and he/she notices
that you also have flaws, you also make mistakes,
you also have your insecurities just like them,
that's when that connection happens.
2. Make it about them.
If you want to build a rapport with someone,
make the conversation all about them.
You can ask questions like...
'Where did you do your schooling?'
'Did you like the new Avengers movie?'
'How are you so smart, tell me, do you also watch The Urban Fight videos?'
This has 2 benefits...#1) People love talking about themselves.
So give them that opportunity and learn more about them.
#2. When you shift your mental focus from
'Omg, what am I saying? How am I looking?'
to all about them i.e their opinions, their interests
that's when your nervousness goes down.
3. Join different groups.
Jump on the opportunity of meeting new people.
So help organise events,
join clubs like Toastmasters, BNI, Rotary etc..
where you will get to meet new people reguarly
and have one-on-one conversations.
Now apart from these groups, another thing that
will help you talk to new people, even outside your country
is this app called, 'Cambly'.
They have tutors from US, UK, Canada
and this app provides 1-on-1 speaking practise sessions with them.
I'll show you how this app works just before the Bonus Tip
but for now, remember, you need to get yourself in situations
either through groups, through apps or through communities
where you can have as many 1-on-1 conversations as you can.
Be it for MBA, Job Recruitment or Bank Exams,
Group Discussion is an important round, but
it is very different from a 1-on-1 conversation
because here you have to impress a recruiter
who is not even talking to you.
Instead, the room is full of chaos;
he is shouting, she is shouting
and nobody is letting you speak.
But as Littlefinger says, 'Chaos is a ladder'.
Now let's see how we can climb it.
Whenever you are in a Group Discussion, you can do 2 things
to impress a recruiter.
1. Show that you are a professional.
Even if others are shouting, you don't shout.
It's just disrespectful.
And avoid using informal phrases like,
'Kya yaar? Whaat re?'
On the other hand, you don't have to use complicated words
like Shashi Tharoor or be a Grammar Nazi.
It's okay to make a few grammatical mistakes here and there
as long as you are confident while speaking.
2. Show that you are flexible in accepting other people's views.
This is important because eventually you will work in a team
where not everybody will agree with you.
Your team members will come from
different lifestyles, backgrounds, religions, beliefs.
So even if they don't align with the way you think,
it's important that you are open to new ideas.
If you want to know how to start a GD,
what to say in the middle,
how to summarise it towards the end
and want to know what kind of topics come in a GD round then
I've made a separate detailed video titled,
'How to prepare for a Group Discussion'
You can find this video on my YouTube channel
or I've even left the link in the description.
Make sure you check it out.
Do you want to know a secret?
Everybody is afraid of public speaking.
The fear of public speaking is the number 1 fear
more than death; which means people are ready to die
instead of speaking in public
which means this fear is no joke.
But just like any other skill, even public speaking can be mastered
and here are the 5 ways to do it.
1. Whenever you are on stage, KISS.
Keep it simple, silly.
Have you ever heard Navjot Singh Siddhu speak?
'A fallen lighthouse is more dangerous than a reef'
*That was a very bad impression*
'Even a cock crows over his own dunghill'
I am sure he is a great man but what I am trying to say is that
it's okay to sound complicated and smart
whenever you are writing a book or the dialogues of a movie.
You can pause and rewind.
But whenever you are giving a presentation,
your audience cannot pause and rewind you.
So you need to be clear from the word go.
So keep it simple just like
you talk to your friends.
It's okay to be nervous on stage.
The problem is when we show the audience that we are nervous
by clutching our wrists too tight,
playing with our pockets or
pulling on a hand-kerchief.
So here are a few gestures that you must avoid
whenever you are on stage.
*Playing with your hair*
*Apologising too many times*
*Having your arms crossed*
*Turning your back to the audience*
The easiest way to take care of your body language is to
get on to the stage and
take a few seconds to relax yourself.
Just breathe and smile.
And then start.
3. Forget about audience reaction.
When you are public speaking, you are talking to a
group and in that group somebody fought with his wife,
somebody did not get promotion,
somebody is tired,
somebody is addicted to Instagram.
And all of these reactions have nothing to do with you personally.
Think of it this way, when you go to hear someone speak
do you wait for their speech to bomb?
No, right?
You are there because you want to learn something from them.
Most of the audience wants you to succeed
and the rest of them don't care because
they have their own priorities.
So even if you see a few bored faces here and there
forget about it and just focus on
your delivery, you presentation because this
is your moment and nobody else
can take it away from you.
Before I move on to the next section, this is
what I want you to do.
Comment and let me know, when was the last time
you heard a great presentation and who gave it?
Was it your school principal?
or somebody from your office or was it a TED Talk?
Incase you have it, provide the YouTube link below
so that all of us can watch and learn from it.
4. Invest as much time and money
it takes to learn how to speak.
Let me tell you a story..
In 2010, I joined a public speaking club called Toastmasters.
It's a self-help club. Nobody is an expert but
it's a community that learns by supporting each other.
I used to pay 6$ per month to be a part of it
which is like 72$ per year.
My college friend used to tell me,
'Why are you wasting money, just to go there and speak?'
Just a few months back he pinged me. His name is Aziz
and he said, 'You remember how I used to make fun of you?...
..I was wrong. Clearly, public speaking changed your life!'
So invest as much time and money
it takes to learn how to speak well.
Obviously do not fall for those shams that
promise you that they will teach you English in just 30 days.
But...if it's an app, a club or a community
that says that it's a process and they are with you throughout that process
then try them out for a few times,
see how others have progressed
and if you get positive vibes from them
invest your time and money in it.
Because I have seen people get way ahead in their careers just by
getting over their fear of speaking.
And one of the ways of investing your time and money
is through the 'Cambly' app.
Before I give you the Bonus Tip, remember I told
you that I'll show you how Cambly works.
So this is how the app looks like,
you can see the list of the tutors
and where are they from.
Check out their profile and
start talking to them like this...
So that's how easy it is to talk to someone through Cambly
and yes this video is sponsored by them.
But you know that I do not accept sponsorship requests unless I really believe in the product
and I think Cambly is a great way to
talk to new people and learn how to speak confidently
especially when you are preparing for exams like IELTS.
And I even got a discount for you.
Go to the subscription page and type the Promo Code, 'theurbanfight' and
you'll get a flat 30% discount on all of the packages.
I really hope it works out for you.
Look, being nervous is not new to you.
You were nervous on your first day of school,
you were nervous when you first rode the bike,
you were nervous when you gave your first exam.
But now, all of that nervousness is under your control, right?
You know why?
Because you are a fighter.
Just like any other skill, speaking confidently
is also a skill that takes constant practise
that only a fighter like you can do.
So today's Bonus Tip is this...
..always go back!
Every time you fail on the stage, go back and do it again.
Every time you screw up talking to someone,
go back and do it again.
Every time you do not clear a GD round,
go back and do it again.
You will be nervous
but it only means that this thing
is important to you.
Nervousness is not a STOP sign,
it is a GROWTH sign.
On that note, if you want to receive a notification
every time I drop a new video,
'Subscribe' to my channel and hit that 'Bell' icon
because I make Career, Finance and Relationship videos just for you!
I am going to see you again very soon, until then
Keep fighting The Urban Fight to be Fit!