>> Stephen: JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN, EVERYBODY.
TE SIDEWINDER.
JON.
YOU KNOW, I AM ALWAYS GRATEFUL AND HAPPY FOR ALL THE GUESTS
THAT COME ON THIS SHOW, BUT I'M PARTICULARLY EXCITED THIS
EVENING BECAUSE TWO OF MY FAVORITE GUESTS ARE ON TONIGHT.
FIRST OF ALL, WE HAVE MR. DANIEL CRAIG.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
HE... HE GETS ME.
( LAUGHTER )
HE UNDERSTANDS WHERE I'M COMING FROM.
AND ALSO, NOT ONLY THAT, BUT WE HAVE AN AMERICAN TREASURE
HERSELF, HISTORIAN DORIS KEARNS GOODWIN IS HERE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: SHE'S GOING TO-- SHE'S GOING TO SPIT SOME
KNOWLEDGE ABOUTS CAN LIOUT HERE, AS SHE IS ONE TO DO.
FOLKS, IN CASE YOU DID NOT KNOW, WE ARE CURRENTLY IN THE MIDDLE
OF BLACK HISTORY MONTH, AND ALL AROUND THE COUNTRY, REPUBLICAN
LAWMAKERS ARE CELEBRATING BY TRYING TO STOP FEBRUARY FROM
BEING TAUGHT IN SCHOOLS.
RIGHT NOW, THE G.O.P. IS TAKING AIM AT CRITICAL RACE THEORY,
WHICH THEY DEFINE AS ANYTHING BEING CRITICAL OF
AMERICAN RACISM.
IN FACT, SINCE JOE BIDEN WAS INAUGURATED, 37 STATES HAVE
INTRODUCED BILLS OR TAKEN OTHER STEPS THAT WOULD RESTRICT
HOW TEACHERS CAN DISCUSS RACISM.
BUT I'M SURE IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
IT'S LIKE THEY SAY: THOSE WHO FAIL TO LEARN FROM HISTORY ARE
DOOMED TO BE A-OKAY!
( LAUGHTER )
LEARN THAT THE MONTGOMERY BUS BOYCOTT WAS ACTUALLY ALL ABOUT
GETTING YOUR STEPS IN.
IN NEW HAMPSHIRE, REPUBLICANS PROPOSED A BILL THAT WOULD BAN
TEACHERS FROM ADVOCATING "ANY ACCOUNT OR THEORY PROMOTING A
NEGATIVE ACCOUNT OF THE FOUNDING AND HISTORY OF THE UNITED
STATES."
AND THE STATE OF VIRGINIA LAUNCHED A TIP LINE TO REPORT
TEACHERS OF "DIVISIVE SUBJECTS."
THAT'S A TOUGH RULE, CONSIDERING "DIVISIVE SUBJECTS" INCLUDES ALL
OF HISTORY AND A BIG PART OF MATH.
( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
IT THAT'S UP WITH SEMAPHORE.
WHEN IT COMES TO BAD IDEAS, THERE'S DUMB AND THEN THERE'S
FLORIDA, WHERE LEGISLATORS RECENTLY ADVANCED A BILL THAT
WOULD PROHIBIT PUBLIC SCHOOLS AND PRIVATE BUSINESSES FROM
MAKING WHITE PEOPLE FEEL DISCOMFORT WHEN THEY TEACH
STUDENTS OR TRAIN EMPLOYEES ABOUT DISCRIMINATION IN THE
NATION'S PAST.
YOU CAN'T REALLY MAKE LAWS AGAINST "DISCOMFORT"!
ESPECIALLY IN FLORIDA.
THEIR STATE BIRD IS SWAMP ASS!
( LAUGHTER )
POWDER IN THE WORLD.
AND IT'S NOT JUST SCHOOLS AND BUSINESSES.
THEY ALSO WANT TO CENSOR PRIVATE RELATIONSHIPS.
ONE RHODE ISLAND CONSERVATIVE LEGISLATOR BLAMED CRITICAL RACE
THEORY FOR THE END OF A FRIENDSHIP, TWEETING, "I HAD A
BLACK FRIEND.
I LIKED HER, AND I THINK SHE LIKED ME, TOO.
BUT NOW SHE IS HOSTILE AND UNPLEASANT.
I AM SURE I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO HER, EXCEPT BE WHITE."
THAT IS UNBELIEVABLE.
THERE IS NO WAY SHE HAD A FRIEND.
THAT'S NOT HER, RIGHT?
COULD BE A STOCK PHOTO.
IT ALL RAISES THE QUESTION: HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DISCUSS BLACK
HISTORY IF YOU CAN'T TALK ABOUT THE PARTS THAT MAKE SOME WHITE
PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE?
WELL, HAPPILY, THERE'S A NEW PRODUCT THAT JUST MIGHT HELP.
>> I SAY WE SHOULD JUST STOP FOCUSING ON THE COLOR OF
PEOPLE'S SKIN.
>> TOTALLY AGREE.
JUST TREAT EVERYONE LIKE EQUALS.
PROBLEM SOLVED!
>> SURE, BUT THAT DOESN'T ACCOUNT FOR SYSTEMIC RACISM--
( BUZZER ) WHAT WAS THAT?
>> YOU USED THE WORD "RACISM."
>> AND THAT MADE US UNCOMFORTABLE!
>> DO YOU FIND IT DIFFICULT TO TALK ABOUT RACE?
( ALL THREE )
>> UNSURE WHAT WORDS MIGHT OFFEND OTHERS?
( ALL THREE )
>> GREAT NEWS!
WE'VE TURNED DISCUSSING BLACK HISTORY INTO A FUN PARTY
GAME!
>> AWESOME!
>> WAIT-- WHAT?
>> INTRODUCING, "TABOO: WHITE FRAGILITY EDITION."
THE GAME THAT LETS YOU DISCUSS BLACK HISTORY WITHOUT MAKING
WHITE PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE!
HERE'S HOW IT WORKS: TRY TO GET YOUR WHITE FRIENDS TO GUESS YOUR
BLACK HISTORY WORD.
BUT BE CAREFUL: DON'T USE ANY OF THE WORDS OR PHRASES THAT MAKE
THEM UNCOMFORABLE!
>> OKAY, UM, THIS PERSON WAS BORN INTO SLAVERY.
( BUZZER ) OOPS, ALL RIGHT, NO PROBLEM.
OKAY, NO PROBLEM, THEY WERE A FAMOUS ABOLITIONIST.
SERIOUSLY?
( BUZZER ) >> SERIOUSLY.
>> YEAH!
IT'S ON THE CARD.
>> OKAY.
THEY FOUGHT AGAINST INJUSTICE?
( BUZZER ) >> SORRY!
SAYING "INJUSTICE" IMPLIES THAT THERE WAS INJUSTICE.
>> THERE WAS!
I FEEL LIKE THIS GAME MAKES YOU KNOW LESS ABOUT BLACK HISTORY
( BUZZER ) >> CAN'T SAY BLACK.
>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I'M BLACK ( BUZZER )
>> YOU WERE ANGRY WHILE BLACK.
IT'S IN THE RULES ( BUZZER )
#-R >> WHITE WINE, TURTLENECK
>> "TABOO: WHITE FRAGILIT ( BUZZER )
>> "TABOO: WHITE FRAGILITY EDITION."
FROM THE MAKERS OF "WE'RE NOT SORRY."
>> OKAY, MY TURN!
>> GREAT GUY?
>> MARTIN LUTHER KING!
>> YES!
>> MOTHER (BLEEP).
( BUZZER ) >> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH DANIEL CRAIG.