What would it look like if somebody with a fashion sense that unyielding
decided to design a room for their kids? Hi, and welcome back to me talking about
whatever I want. Today, I want to talk about the Kardashian family's playroom, because words cannot
describe how unsettled I am by this literal kid's room. But, first, of course, I'd like
to do a comment shout out from the last video. This comment actually goes out to Emma, who says,
"Every time you say 'Welcome back to me talking about whatever I want,' I feel empowered through
you." I actually like this comment, because I feel empowered too. There's something nice about being
this laid-back and being able to just kind of talk about things that weigh on me. Sometimes, it's
extremely serious situations that are bordering on illegal. And at times like this, I just... You
know what, let's just jump into it, and I'll let you decide how you feel. How about that?
So, I feel like Kim Kardashian is one of those people who I don't have to give an intro for.
Multi, multimillionaire, massive reality TV star, married to one of the biggest rappers in the game,
and probably most notably, she looks like this. There's not much to say about Ms. Kardashian that
hasn't been said before, so I'm just not going to say anything. But just as strange and disconnected
from reality as I think Kim Kardashian and Kanye West both are, I have to give them props,
because they have a really beautiful family. They have four kids, named Psalm, Saint, Chicago,
and North. Holy crap, I knew their names off the top of my head. I might be becoming one
of those people. To be fair, I just saw it in these articles I've been reading, okay?
The Kardashian-West family is no stranger to finding itself in the news, usually for mildly
harmless things, but this time they're in the news because Kim K went on Snapchat and showed off
her kids' playroom. First off, like millions of people, thanks to H3H3 and Architectural Digest,
I'm already quite familiar with the inside of the Kardashian family home. But just as a little
refresher, I pulled up this Architectural Digest article, which imagine spending so
much money on your house, that you get an article about it in an architecture magazine.
So, as you can see, this is their house. It was designed by Axel Vervoordt and Kanye West,
and a couple of other people who have too much money. And it's what I would call oppressively
expensive. It's rich to the point where I would feel bad living there. It's overwhelmingly
pristine. Here's an image of them just playing on, what appears to be a pillow shaped like an
octopus or a snake, or perhaps a snake that ate an octopus. Oh, apparently this misshapen
pillow is installation art by Isabel Rower, because why wouldn't it be? But as you can see,
they're dressed in all white, the sculpture is white, the floor is white, the walls are white,
and the painting off to the side is also white. Now, before you all hop into my comment section
and tell me that I'm not one to talk, because everything in my room right now is gray. My
walls are gray, the mirror is gray, this chair is gray, the paintings on my wall of gray,
I'm wearing black and gray. I have these black headphones right here, but I also have these
other headphones right here, which are gray. I don't have a problem. I can stop anytime I want,
okay? I'm not addicted to getting everything in the same color. Not going to lie to you,
chief, even my curtains are gray. But, my excuse... All right, fine, I'm a hypocrite,
I don't have an excuse. But you know what, at least my room is nice, okay? And, it feels like
somewhere that somebody can live in, I hope. I just realized you can see my books in the
corner, and they're all gray. You know what? Maybe I have no room to talk. But then, I go back and
look at a picture of the house, and I immediately feel justified for calling them out. Their house
just looks empty. It looks like nobody lives there. Look at how tiny these kids are. That baby
right there is going to think that he never left the hospital, that is how white the walls are.
This hallway in their home looks like Monument Valley. Have you ever played that? That's what
this hallway looks like. Their living room looks like an unfinished blender model. What is wrong
with the window in their kitchen? It has no sill. It just dawned on me, this window has no sill and
no curtains. It's just a square hole in the wall. Okay, their pool is nice. Yeah, the pool is nice,
I don't really have anything to say about that. They have heads on pillars next to,
yet another window without a sill. So, wait, is this how you can tell I'm not a millionaire,
because I have a window sill? Should I just cut this off, and then the value of the home I'm in
will instantly double? I don't even know what kind of room this is. Who puts a table in front
of a couch? Oh yeah, I think this place right here is actually an installation piece. It's
called depression. Okay, I do have to say, the outside of the house is actually really nice.
I would do anything to be surrounded by that many plants. But yeah, that is the Kim Kardashian slash
Kanye West, monastery, art installation, museum nightmare that they call home.
If I woke up in that place, I would feel like I was in a nightmare. Even if I lived there for
three years, every single day I wake up, I would freshly think I've been kidnapped by a psychopath.
And then, I remember that it was my house and I'm just rich enough to unironically have that
look. So now that we've explored the glory of the Kardashian-West home, I want you to ask yourself,
what would it look like if somebody with a fashion sense that unyielding
decided to design a room for their kids? Now, what I thought at first was that they
just made the kids play in these white rooms. It's like, "Daddy, can we paint the walls?" "Oh,
sure." Just pulls out a can of white paint. It's like, "No, I mean a different color." "Yeah,
this is an even brighter shade of white." I thought they made the kids live in these
hospital corridors with all white sheets and no toys. But, without further ado, here it is.
So, I'm cleaning up for the night, and just because you guys always say my house is so
minimal, well, you guys haven't seen my playroom. Hold up. She's cleaning up for the night,
meaning she cleans her kids' playroom every single day? Also, do you honestly expect me to believe
that Kim Kardashian, the Kim Kardashian, has cleaned the room in the past 39 years?
So, we have our stage here, where the kids often have a band.
A stage? Okay. Okay. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a singer too. Considering the fact that I sound
like trash when I sing, it's probably good that that dream didn't work out for me. Then again,
have you heard some of these people on the radio? I mean, I might've stood a chance. But,
when I wanted to play pretend, I might've gotten a cardboard box, usually a toilet paper roll,
but maybe a toy microphone if it was a good Christmas. These kids have a stage, a drum
set. Bro, this isn't Fisher-Price, this is Yamaha. Where do you find a full drum set in toddler size?
And, over here is our projector. So, they watch movies while they sit in the playroom.
I was allowed to watch TV. But, if I wanted to watch it, I had to clean my room first,
and then go ask for permission to maybe watch my parents' TV. And, they usually said yes,
but apparently, I could have just had a projector. We have our singalong microphones and violins. The
kids play instruments. North plays violin. We have Psalm's section
over here of just all the little toys. You know what's getting to me? She talks
about the full set of drums and the custom stage and that projector in the ceiling,
the same way she talks about Psalm's little toys. I think that these people have so much money,
they don't see a distinction between a little toy and a full drum set. I'm
not even going to lie to you that's goals. ... he likes. And then the dollhouse is here.
Okay, so why is the dollhouse bigger than the house I'm in? That shouldn't be right.
That's not right, is it? But it happened. North's OMG dolls that she's obsessed with.
And then, all the baby carriages for Chi. That was a whole stroller. What? All the
baby carriage... Even when my siblings were babies, we had... I feel like I'm going to be
thinking about this video for a long time. The whole paint section, this is where they
do their homework and the little paint cart. Did you see how sharp that table was? Okay. Okay.
Okay. I'm not going to tell them how to parent. Well, yes, yes, yes I am. When my brother... Well,
now here I am exposing him without his permission. When he was a little baby, maybe two years old,
we had this coffee table, and my dad was actually really proud of this coffee table,
because... I don't remember if he had bought it or he found it, but it was nice. It was solid wood,
it was kind of heavy, and it had this glass middle. There's no middle of the story, okay,
so that's the beginning. And, the end of the story is that my brother ran head-on into the
corner of that and we had to throw it away. That's basically how it goes when you don't baby-proof
sharp corners on your furniture. But, here we have a table in the kids' playroom that looks like...
I think it cut me just from watching this video. All in here is organized, educational stuff for
their homework, that they sit and do here. Now, this is where we're bordering on, I
didn't know if creepy is the word, but why are the books color-coded? The books are color-coded, the
pencils are... The toys are color-coded. I don't know how much experience you've had with kids,
but if you present them a system, they will turn it into an art installation for all intents and
purposes. So, either she is making the kids keep everything color-coordinated, or she is having
her people go back and recolor-coordinate every single thing, every single night. I don't know
which one of those is more insane. Wait a minute, those toys up there, aren't those several hundred
dollars? What kid is even going to know that these exist, let alone want to put it on their shelf.
Every drawer here has LEGOs, color-coordinated. The LEGOs are color-coordinated. So,
is he not allowed to use them? Hold on. Kim Kardashian kids' ages.
The first two are four and nine months old. So, first of all, that's the creepiest
question I've ever asked Google in my entire life. Secondly, Saint is four,
so why are his LEGOs color... She's not letting him use them, that's my only conclusion. He's
not allowed to play with the LEGOs. Either that, or she's just lying and pretending like
the LEGOs are always color-coordinated, which is equally likely, but honestly, kind of sad.
This is Chi's world over here. You have her ice cream parlor, her grocery store...
They have a grocery store as a toy? They have a toy grocery store. Poverty exists,
but some people have toy grocery stores. This is Chi's world over here. You have her ice
cream parlor, her grocery store. I have to show you, in her little grocery store,
you have to see, look, it goes down the line, and then you ring things up. And then,
once you type in whatever, you go on this side and you have to sign your name for the products.
It's a functioning grocery store. I think I'm losing it. No, I think I lost it before I decided
to do this video, and I'm only realizing that now. So, there you have it, people. There's color.
Okay, she sounds really offended. There you have it, people. There's color. In other words, "Hey,
we may live in an all white house, but I swear there's color in the room. We put color in the
kids' room and it's coordinated, and all the stuffed animals have X's in their eyes like
they're dead, because that's normal. I gave my kids a dead Elmo for Christmas. Big bird is dead.
And, it's definitely because that's the one my kid wanted, and not because I needed to throw
some color in my kid's room real fast, so I just bought the most expensive Elmo plushie I could,
not realizing that it's a dead Elmo, which is am art installation." They gave their kids dead,
Sesame Street, stuffed animals. I am terrified. Slime, bubbles, and crayons, it's all
color-coordinated, at least it's supposed to be. We try to keep it clean.
So, she uses the words clean and color-coordinated interchangeably.
And then, the costume section. So, we have an entire costume section. Everything like
this is just all headpieces and crowns. This is our Moana, Hawaiian section.
How rich are you, that you have a kid's costume collection separated
by... Wait a minute, Moana is not Hawaiian. It's a pretty organized... Puzzles. It's
a pretty organized area. So, this is where my kids have fun.
For such a short video, she said the word organized so many times. She said the word
color-coordinated so many times. I think Kim Kardashian would really like my room. Anyway, that
was the Kim Kardashian room... There was supposed to be a point at the end of this video about how
money can't fix your insecurity, and she's trying way too hard to prove to everybody that... But,
they have a store in there, the store works. It had a card reader. You know what? Who cares.