JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN RIGHT THERE!
WOOO!
OH, MY GOODNESS!
JON, I'M SO EXCITED.
IT'S THE WEEKEND.
I'M GOING TO GET THE FINAL SHOPPING DONE.
IT'S ALL GOING TO BE GREAT.
>> Jon: FRIDAY!
>> Stephen: EVERYBODY IS GOING TO GET NEW PILLOWS FROM THAT "MY
PILLOW" GUY.
EVERYBODY IN MY LIFE.
THEY'REALLY GUTTING PILLOWS.
WE'RE ALL SLEEPY THESE DAYS.
>> Jon: WE NEED TO LAY DOWN A LITTLE BIT.
>> Stephen: YOU CANITAL I'M A LIT CANDLE RIGHT NOW, AND THE
REASON I'M SO EXCITED IS WE HAVE MARK HAMILL HERE TONIGHT TO TALK
ABOUT "THE LAST JEDI."
LUKE SKYWALKER, HIMSELF!
I'VE BEEN A FAN OF HIS FOR SO LONG.
BECAUSE UNLIKE MOST PEOPLE, I DIDN'T JUMP ON THE BANDWAGON
WHEN HE BECAME A JEDI.
I WAS INTO HIM WAY BACK WHEN HE WAS JUST A MOISTURE FARMER,
IN FACT, BEFORE IT WAS COOL.
OBVIOUSLY, THE ORIGINAL MOVIES ARE CLASSICS, AND I'M LOVING THE
NEW TRILOGY JUST AS MUCH.
BUT BECAUSE THERE WAS A 30-YEAR GAP BETWEEN THEM, WE HAVE NO
IDEA WHAT LUKE WAS UP TO DURING THAT TIME.
WE MISSED OUT ON SO MANY EXCITING ADVENTURES BECAUSE
THOSE MOVIES WERE NEVER MADE.
BUT, FORTUNATELY, WE DO HAVE A CLIP TONIGHT FROM THOSE
NON-EXISTANT FILMS.
JIM?
♪ ♪ ♪
( SNIFFS ) >> Stephen: EMILIO, A BANTHA,
CRAPPED IN THE PARKING LOT, I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
IS THAT BLASTER LOADED?
GO ON IN.
REMEMBER OUR POLICY.
ALWAYS SHOOT FIRST!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> EXCUSE ME.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) EXCUSE ME, SIR, SIR.
>> Stephen: AH-AH!
YES?
>> I'M BEING FOLLOWED BY SOLDIERS OF THE FIRST ORDER.
I NEED GET INTO THE CANTINA!
>> Stephen: WE'RE ALL TRYING TO GET SOMEWHERE, SIR.
( LAUGHTER ) IT'S A BIG GALAXY.
LOTS OF THINGS ARE FAR, FAR AWAY.
OKAY?
JUST A MOMENT.
I'M COMING OFF MY BREAK.
WELCOME TO THE MOS EISLEY CANTINA, A WRETCHED HIVE OF SCUM
AND VILLAINY, LIVE MUSIC NIGHTLY.
HOW I CAN HELP YOU?
>> FINALLY.
WILL YOU LET ME IN NOW?
>> Stephen: IN YOUR JAMMIES?
OKAY.
LET'S SEE IF YOU'RE ON THE LIST.
LAST NAME?
>> SKYWALKER.
>> Stephen: LET'S SEE.
HMMM.
I DON'T SEE A "SKY WALTER."
NO.
>> SKY WALKER.
LUKE SKYWALKER.
>> Stephen: LUKE, LUKE, LUKE, OKAY.
I'VE GOT A "LUKE STAR-KILLER."
IS THAT CLOSE?
>> WELL, THAT'S A DUMB NAME.
LET ME SEE THAT LIST.
THESE ARE ALL FAKE NAMES!
"GENERAL GRIEVOUS?" "COUNT DOOKU"?
"JAR-JAR BINKS"?
NOW THAT ONE'S GOT TO BE A MISTAKE.
LAUGH >> Stephen: WELL, YOU'RE ONE TO
TALK, OKAY.
( APPLAUSE ) YOU ARE ONE TO TALK, MR. SPACE
JOGGER.
( LAUGHTER ) >> I SAID IT'S SKYWALKER!
SERIOUSLY, YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF ME?
I BLEW UP THE DEATH STAR-- TWICE!
>> Stephen: I'M NOT REALLY INTO SCI-FI.
( LAUGHTER ) >> WELL, IT'S NOT "FI!"
IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED.
AND IT'S NOT REALLY "SCI" IT'S MORE LIKE KIND OF A SPACE
WESTERN.
>> Stephen: THAT WILL NEVER WORK.
I DID NOT WANT TO DO THIS, BUT, YOU WILL LET ME INTO THE
CANTINA.
>> Stephen: NO, I WON'T.
I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT.
I JUST SAID THAT A SECOND AGO.
>> YOU WILL LET ME IN THE CANTINA.
>> Stephen: WHAT ARE YOU WEAVING AT?
ARE YOU TRING TO DO THIS THING?
NA-NU, NA-NU.
>> LOOK, I DIDN'T WANT TO DO THIS, BUT DO YOU KNOW WHO MY
FATHER IS?
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: I'M GONNA GUESS DAVE
SKYWALKER?
LAUGH >> IT'S...
(WHISPERS) DARTH VADER.
SUPREME COMMANDER OF THE IMPERIAL FORCES.
>> Stephen: WELL, MY DAD IS REGIONAL MANAGER OF RAYMOUR &
FLANAGANS, BUT YOU DON'T SEE ME THROWING THAT AROUND.
RIGHT THIS WAY.
GO ON IN.
GOOD TO SEE YOU, DOIKK.
>> OH, COME ON!
YOU'RE LETTING THEM IN!?
>> Stephen: HE'S WITH THE BAND.
I HOPE THEY PLAY MY FAVORITE SONG!
BOP-BOP, DODDELY-DAAAAAH-DOO
BOP-BOP >> PLEASE, STOP!
THAT'S THEIR ONLY SONG.
♪ DOO-DOO-DOO, DOO-DO-BAT GO AHEAD.
>> LOOK!
I'M BEING CHASED BY STORMTROOPERS AND I KNOW THE
LAST THING YOU WANT TO HEAR IS SOMEBODY WHINING ABOUT THEIR
DAY, BUT I HAVE TO PICK UP SOME POWER CONVERTERS.
AND I HAVEN'T HAD A DRINK IN TWELVE PARSECS--
>> Stephen: THAT'S NOT A UNIT OF TIME.
>> YOU'RE GOING TO LET ME IN TO THE CANTINA, YOU STUCK-UP,
HALF-WITTED, SCRUFFY-LOOKING NERF HERDER!
>> Stephen: WHOA!
LOOK WHO DROPPED THE "N-H WORD."
>> OH, COME ON.
I'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF SIGHT.
THE STORMTROOPERS ARE GOING TO BE HERE ANY MINUTE!
>> Stephen: I'M SORRY.
YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO TRY THE CANTINA ACROSS THE STREET.
>> ALL RIGHT, FINE.
I GUESS I'LL JUST GO OVER TO "THE DARK SIDE."
>> Stephen: OKAY, GOOD LUCK.
TRY THE FRIED PORG. IT'S AMAZING.
>> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MARK HAMILL!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )