you'll wear the hairy hand which is a um you get it when you're about 15.
the hairy hand is a disembodied hand that would appear
um from nowhere if you're driving along uh the b3021
and it would steer you off the road
one of the people that claimed he'd been steered off the road by the hairy hand
he described it as invisible
i'll bless him for trying
i had a suspected hemorrhoid congratulations
so i found out the doctor and he went what i was like can i get an appointment i think i've got
hemorrhoids they're like oh we've got to over the phone consultation the doctor will phone you back
and she phoned me back and she's like could you describe your symptoms i've never really had like
an embarrassing illness down there before so i described my symptoms downstairs and it was i
was quite embarrassed by it so as you can see i'm not stumbling yeah don't worry no one will know
and then i got to the end and she went um are you the comedian
oh i had somebody asked me that well while i was having a colonoscopy
well they asked you if you were josh whitaker yes
wanted to know if i was josh whitaker and it turned out
there'd been a misunderstanding with a phone call
like the idea they're in your colon they go that looks like joshua
i'd recognize that anyway can i just say to everybody as a health warning if you
do not need a colonoscopy if all you've had is beetroot i'm just gonna put it out there
josh anybody quizzing experience i found out a family thing a pub quiz that's not your mother
tie break's a tiebreaker
so i've always been told that there's this guy i'm a descendant of called saban bearing gould
who wrote the lyrics to abide with me that's the claim to fame in the family and the claims
frame in the family okay and it came up in a pub quiz and i was like here we bloody go
watch out here saban bearing gould and it wasn't him
and the whole thing had been some lie passed down in the family no
and people like that's not even a name huh that's a firm of childhood surveyors
uh time for another parlor game are you there moriarty this is a british one which
i frankly don't understand okay so you are blindfolded you hold each other's left hands
one of you shouts out are you there moriarty the other one shouts yes and the one who said are
you there moriarty then tries to hit them with the newspaper i'll be the shouter okay will you
take turns you're taking oh all right okay i mean obviously i'm gonna have to hit the target but i'm
not sure how comfortable i am hitting a woman on national television it's susan you'll be all right
right think about the man over the road left hand
give me your hands left hand left hand okay okay are you there moriarty yes
no
do you know what yeah i love the idea that someone has turned on this for the first time
it's really changed without stephen
do we stand up
i think adam's won so now hold left hands i'm not going near him he's an animal i've left hands
okay so josh are you there moriarty are you there moriarty
yes to indicate his location and then he's gonna try and escape josh hitting him
okay right josh uh are you there moriarty yes now try to escape
wow
let's have a look at our third record holder now here is an astonishing thing that is stephen
wildish and he beat mo farah whoa and what did he beat mo farah oh most no yes he held the world
record in 2014 39.91 seconds in 2017 steve wildish smashed that in just 26.3 what's the distance
seconds 100 meters yeah so he had tried earlier in the year but his sac had been deemed too small
in this weather i've had the same problem
so the man who beat mo farah substantially is in our audience please welcome stephen
i wilder how did you know steve that you're good at
doing a psych race uh i was unbeaten since school so i did all the
school races did your mom say oh my boy is very good at sack racing yeah she used to film the
sack racism are you allowed to put your feet into the corners of the sack and kind of run along do
you have to jump you have to jump you have to jump okay would you mind having a go for us and showing
us your technique but yes but wait we have to have a competitor so i feel the only person i
know who's been and reported at the paralympics uh is josh whitaker i would like josh to go
um i won i didn't do the sacrifice i did a race at school called the dressing up race
i won two years in a row really i left primary school undefeated i now want to see mo farah
doing the dressing up race but there we are so please be careful both of you i have to hold this
is
ready boys imagine if i win how amazing this is if you win though you'll be the world record holder
though yeah they're about 10 meters in i thought
i dared to dream yeah i saw the headlines i thought this is it this is my moment yeah i could
see you were keeping a bit back for the final i thought finally i found my thing but you hadn't
josh it's going to make you feel good the elves tell me that uh baron gould's your
relative you'd write onward christian soldiers oh onward christian yeah it's a better song yeah
it's a bet it's a bigger hit isn't it do you feel better now i genuinely feel on cloud nine
josh last year tell us all about the hairy hands of dartmoor
is that right they grab the steering wheel of your car and drive you off the road
and i wonder if you could just remind us which road you said it was uh the b3021 yes
this is i can't promise you one of the finest quibbles that qi has ever received
there is a gentleman called ian dunn who has written in to point out that
the hairy hands of dartmoor actually haunt the b3212 and not the b3021
i'm afraid you are having points docked this time
posthumously yes it couldn't be more wrong the b3212 runs across dartmoor between exeter and
elverton by the hamlet of post bridge that's where the yeah let's hang out the b302 one i'm afraid
goes from old windsor to touch it in berkshire remember that next time you make a joke yeah
can i just say that he watched me talk about these ghost hands that appear and drive you off
the road in his quibble yeah was with the number of the road you didn't just let ian down or the
show down you've let yourself down haven't you in many ways i think i've let jesus down
and this hairy hand
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