What’s up y’all, it’s Emile Ennis Jr. here with Clevver Music, and Lady Gaga recently
talked about the downfalls of the major success she’s seen, and she also opened up about
the one thing that she believed was the ultimate source of her unhappiness.
Before we get into the story, I’d like to offer a trigger warning, as some of the topics
discussed may be triggering.
We’ve linked resources down below in the description box.
Lady Gaga appeared on CBS “Sunday Morning” to discuss her journey and the hardships that
come along with fame.
She admitted that her latest album, ‘Chromatica,’ is a very personal one, saying quote, "There's
not one song on that record that's not true.
Not one.”
When asked what was so dark about that particular time in her life, Gaga had this to say.
"I totally gave up on myself.
I hated being famous.
I hated being a star.
I felt exhausted and used up."
And she also opened up about one special piano, which has stayed with her throughout her many
years of entertaining.
"This is the piano I've had for so many years.
I've written so many songs on this piano.
And I think, 'Oh my gosh, it's so special, this piano, I love this piano.'
And although that piano holds such a special place in her heart, Lady Gaga also admitted
to having negative thoughts towards the instrument as well.
I don't know how to explain it but I went from looking at this piano and thinking, 'You
ruined my life!'
I was like, 'You made me Lady Gaga.
My biggest enemy is Lady Gaga, that’s what I was thinking!
My biggest enemy is her!'"
She went on to further explain some of the reasons she had grown to despise the persona
that catapulted her into stardom.
'What did you do?
You can't go to the grocery store now.
If you go to dinner with your family, somebody comes to the table, you can’t have a dinner
with your family without it being about you.
It's always about you.
All the time it’s about you.
And your outfits, look at your outfits!
Why you gotta be like that?!'"
And she also reflected on her previous album, ‘Joanne,’ which was named after her late
aunt on her father’s side.
Lady Gaga talked about the experience of writing the album, saying quote, “I was writing
about the trauma from my father's life that became my trauma in a lot of ways.
And I thought I could fix my dad."
But she then admits that she knows she could never actually fix him.
And while the album made it to number one, Lady Gaga was struggling behind the scenes.
"It’s not always easy, if you have mental issues, to let other people see.
I used to self-harm.
I used to say, ‘Look.
I cut myself.
See, I’m hurt,’ because I didn’t think anyone could see because, mental health, it’s
invisible.”
She also reflects upon thinking she was quote, “over,” and continued on to say quote,
“I didn't really understand why I should live other than to be there for my family.
That was an actual real thought and feeling.
'Why should I stick around?'"
The interviewer asked Lady Gaga if she had thought about suicide, to which she replied
by saying quote, "Oh yeah.
Every day."
Gaga also shared that she had people watching her in her home for years in order to make
sure she wasn’t harming herself.
“I lived in this house while people watched me for a couple years to make sure that I
was safe.”
She also explained the trauma her mind and body experience when she’s in public and
a random person pulls out a cell phone and begins to snap pictures of her.
Lady Gaga says she experiences quote, “Total panic, full body pain.”
And she continues to say quote, “I'm braced because I'm so afraid.
It's like I'm an object, I'm not a person."
She talked about how she poured her trauma into ‘Chromatica,’ explaining how songs
like ‘911,’ ‘1000 Doves,’ and ‘Rain On Me’ are metaphors for her actual life.
“‘Pop a 911,' that's a reference to the medication that I have to take when I used
to panic because I'm Lady Gaga.”
And although her success and fame come with so much baggage, Lady Gaga explains that she
simply cannot stop making music.
She said quote, "I swear on my future unborn children, I don’t know why, but I have to.
This.
I have to do it.
Singing, I have to.
Turns out, even if I don’t wanna be alive, I still know how to write a song.”
And she also talked about how she considers collaborators like Ariana Grande and Elton
John to be good friends of hers, and that they’ve been there for her.
Gaga went on to reveal that she’s come to terms with the fact that she can’t change
the past.
“It's that cheesy thing that you say like, 'Oh, I'm glad I went through it because it
made me stronger.'
OK, I could have done without the last two-and-a-half years of my life.
I could have done without that.
But you know what?
It happened.”
She is also releasing a book next week called ‘Channel Kindness,’ which is a collection
of stories that have been sent to her by people who have experienced quote, “the power of
kindness in the midst of adversity.”
And the interview ended on a positive note, as Lady Gaga admitted that she’s in a much
better place mentally and physically.
“I don’t hate Lady Gaga anymore I’ve found a way to love myself again, even when
I thought that was never gonna happen.
Now I look at this piano and I go, ‘ugh my piano, my piano that I love so much, my
piano that lets me speak, my piano that lets me create poetry.
My piano that’s mine.”
And we are so happy that Lady Gaga is learning to love herself again and helping others to
do so in the process.
But now I want to know what you think.
Let us know all your thoughts on the interview in the comment section below.
After that, click right over here for another Clevver Music video.
Thanks for watching, I’m your host Emile Ennis Jr., bye guys!