And I believe this to directly relate
To the plastic water bottle conspiracy of '73.
The question still remains. Is the Illuminati real?
I've laid out the facts for you, America. It's time to spread the truth.
Wake up, America. Don't be a sheep
These guys are absolutely ridiculous.
So dumb.
I can't believe people believe in this stuff. Like, seriously?
They'll find any reason to say it's Illuminati.
Oh, Miley Cyrus has an eyeball tattoo, Illuminati confirmed!
Doritos are triangle shaped, Illuminati confirmed!
The three of us are still awake, but Erica's still...still...sleeping.
Illuminati con-confirmed.
You don't really get what we're doing, huh, Sean?
No
It's okay. Don't worry.
Wait, who's Erica?
Oh, it's just our other roommate. Don't even worry about it.
She's sleeping. Oh.
Well, dude, don't worry about it, Sean. It's okay. I mean, Illuminati's
the biggest waste of time. Just because a bunch of celebrities
like Jay-Z, Lady Gaga, Beyoncé all hold up the same hand symbol
- or triangle sign-- - Wait, what did you just say?
- What? - Jay-Z, Lady Gaga, Beyoncé?
Yeah. What about 'em?
Jay-Z, Lady Gaga... Jay-Z, Lady Gaga, Beyoncé...
Oh my God.
Guys, I think I got it.
Jay-Z, Lady Gaga, Beyoncé. What do they all have in common?
Uh, I just told you. They all put up their stupid hand signs-
- No, not just that. - They're all celebrities?
No!
- They're all in the music industry? - No!
Then just tell us!
They all have an E in their name!
No, they don't. Only Beyoncé has an E in her name.
No, not the letter E. The sound "E".
Bee-yonce. La-dee Gaga.
- Jay-Zee. - Seriously?
- Serious-lee!
And you know what? They're not the only ones.
*Coffee machine*
Hey, Erica. You think you could make your coffee another time?
We're kinda in the middle of something.
Fine. I'm going back to sleep then.
Thanks.
How to access your secret lab: Put book back.
Welcome, Ryan.
When did you have time do to all this?
Oh, there we go.
As I was saying, it's not just Beyoncé, Lady Gaga and Jay-Z.
There's more. Think about it.
Who are some other celebrities that are rumored to be a part of the Illuminati?
Uh, Nicki Minaj?
Nick-kee Manaj?
- Miley Cyrus? - Mi-lee Cyrus.
- Kim Kardashian? - Kardash-ee-an.
Well, what about Kanye West? He's rumored to be part of it.
Oh, you mean Kan-yee?
It's Kanye
Then why does he refer to himself as Yeezy?
Or why is his album called Yeezus?
It's Kan-yee! Learn how to reeead
Okay, fine. All their names have an E sound in it,
but what does that have to do with Illuminati?
Good question. See, I've been working on the same theory for minutes now.
The name Illuminati is a clue in itself.
What?
Uh, Illuminati?
They're saying Il-lum-I-NOT-E, which is exactly what they want
us to think. They're hiding from us!
But we just cracked the code, and we're gonna prove this thing
once and for all. - We just talked about how stupid
these conspiracies are. - Conspiraca-CEES?
The Illuminati are viewed as leaders, the most powerful people
and companies in the entire world,
and from the time we're kids, we're already being taught to serve them.
Think about it. When you're a little kid,
what's the one thing you're forced to do?
Go to school. And when you're in school,
who's the one person that you have to obey?
The teacher.
And when it comes to teachers, what's the one thing you
associated teachers with?
Apples.
Like, why an apple of all things? Because Apple is one
of the biggest companies in the world, and they're in on it!
Why do you think every single one of their Apple products
starts with an I?
Like the iPhone. Or the iPod!
Or the iPad!
- Or even the i-- - Rack!
Hmm, I didn't know they made racks.
No, like the place, Iraq!
See, there's already a lot of conspiracy theories saying
we went to war in Iraq for oil, or for money, or for whatever.
But what if the reason was to protect the secret?
So you're saying the Illuminati is located in Iraq?
No, that would be way too obvious, but we're close.
It's someplace around there. I just don't know where to start.
Hmm, with all the technology we have, too bad we can't just triangulate
their position. - Wait. Sean, say that again!
- That again? - Exactly! Triangulate!
- Huh? - Triangles!
That's another Illuminati sign! That's how we're gonna find them.
With triangles!
- But where do we start? - Isn't it obvious? The pyramids.
Even as a little kid, you're taught that pyramids are in Egypt.
EEE-gypt.
And what other famous pyramid does everybody learn about as a kid?
The food pyramid. And if we look above Egypt,
we see Turkey, which is up and to the right,
exactly where turkey would be on the food pyramid:
Up and to the right, in the meat section!
And while we're talking about meats, don't tell me it's a coincidence
that Saudi Arabia is shaped exactly like the meat
they used to draw in cartoons that we watched as kids.
Even though it is pretty uncooked and red, that could explain exactly why
there's the Red Sea right next to it. It's because the Red Sea
is just the meat juices dripping down from Saudi Arabia.
- Or, should I say, Salty A-Rare-Beef-ah. - (chuckles)
Oh God.
And if we connect all three points, we have
the first triangle, the triangle of pyramids.
But the Illuminati aren't just represented by pyramids.
They're also represented by an eye. And what do eyes do?
They see.
Just like the Mediterranean Sea [see], or Syria [See-ria],
or, like we mentioned earlier, the Red Sea!
That's our second triangle, the triangle of eyes!
And when you put the triangle of pyramids and the triangle of eyes together,
what do you get? The two triangle star.
And what country lies in the middle of the star?
Israel.
And guess what Israel's national flag looks like?
Exactly. The two triangle star.
And so, in conclusion, after all my minutes of research
ends up finally putting an end to all the ridiculous conspiracy theories
and answers the question that's been asked so many times,
is the Illuminati real? I present to you the answer:
The Illuminati...
is real. [Israel].
It's time you learned the truth. Wake up America.
Seriously? This entire video is a troll video.
What? No, it's not.
You made us sit through this entire video for one bad pun.
It wasn't just for one bad pun.
It was also to (yelling) wake up, America!
- Wait, who are you? - I'm Erica. [America]
See? Two bad puns.
Teehee!
So thank you guys again so much for watching.
If you want to see last week's video, click the one on the left.
If you want to see bloopers and behind-the-scenes,
click the one on the right. And remember...
wake up, America! Wake up...
before you go, go, don't leave me hanging
and there's something...(laughs) I don't know what I'm doing.
I don't know what I'm doing.