- You're walking into a party or a work event,
a place where you're gonna be meeting a lot of new people
and you go up to the first person.
You say your kinda normal shtik,
you ask 'em some small questions,
and they seem to really like you, you know,
you can kinda tell when you're received well,
things go really well, you exit feeling good.
You go up to the next person,
say basically the exact same thing, it doesn't land well.
You can actually see them in the corner later
kinda looking at you like in a spiteful way.
What happened?
That's a bad feeling when you don't understand
what's going on and in this quick video,
I'm gonna teach you a technique that I kind of came upon
last week when I was at, it was actually kind of
a mastermind conference, where I was meeting a ton
of new people and I kind of realized this little trick
that really works to give you the best chance
of being received well by everyone,
'cause as we know, people are different.
Some people are introverted, some people are extroverted,
some people are quiet, some people are shy,
some people are outgoing, some people look shy
but are really outgoing, and if we can learn
to simply tailor our approach just a little bit,
it's gonna give you a much higher chance
of having everyone in the room saying,
yeah, I like that guy, seems like a good guy,
versus some people saying that and some people saying,
that Barron, he just rubs me the wrong way.
We don't want that.
So what the technique is is incorporating
the other person's personality into your approach.
So you don't have to study them
in the corner for a week before.
You can pick up on people's demeanors very quickly.
I mean, I'd say within the first 15 minutes
of seeing everyone interact, you have a 75% comprehension
of what people's social personality is like.
So how can you apply this?
Well let me tell you how I applied it.
There's a guy who was, he was the first one who spoke,
extremely outgoing, wore very outgoing clothing,
clearly drawing attention to himself,
spoke very loudly, a very confident tone of voice,
I'm gonna tell you what I did to approach him,
and then there was another guy who I actually knew
a little bit before but is much more
mild-mannered and much more reserved.
So how did I approach them differently?
The outgoing guy, you go up them at the break
and you talk, you match his energy and his tone of voice.
Why?
'Cause if you don't, he's not gonna respect you.
You gotta show him that you're confident
and when you talk in a loud voice,
people are hearing you, your body language,
all that kind of stuff, you wanna emulate them.
It's kind of the old mirroring technique,
but this is kind of a deviation of that.
The old mirroring technique just says, like,
if you're hanging out with somebody,
you're talking to them, and they kinda sit like this,
if you kinda sit like this, people have a natural tendency
to feel rapport and closeness to people
who basically mimic them physically.
It's kind of a weird deal, but it's been proven.
But I'm talking about applying this
in an energy level, so you're approaching
with the same energy, the same amount of outgoing,
so I'll go up to him, man, that talk was great.
I was so glad that you brought up this.
I'm gonna be able to apply that specifically.
How do you think he would've reacted
if I woulda gone up to him, he just gave this presentation,
high energy, hey man, I just wanted
to tell you that I really like...
Okay, whatever, dude.
Thanks a lot, I appreciate it, I gotta talk to people.
No respect at all.
Now what about the other guy that I went up to?
Much more quiet and reserved.
When he interacts, he uses a very quiet tone of voice,
never makes big body language movements, dresses clean
but not drawing attention to him like this other guy.
So what did I do when I went up to him?
Hey, man, how are ya?
I saw you were doing this out in the hallway.
I was actually in this other talk before.
I thought it was great.
Did you happen to be able to see that?
So I'm not using a supplicative tonality,
I'm just toning all of my energy down.
'Cause what would happen if I woulda gone up to this guy
and be like, hey, man, I was just out in the other talk.
It was fantastic.
I thought I mighta learned some things
that you might be able to apply.
Let's talk about it.
What'd you think about this?
Well, actually if you talk like that,
anyone would be turned off, but do you get what I'm saying?
If I woulda hit him with high energy,
he'd have been like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
He doesn't want everyone in the room
turning to look at our conversation.
The other guy loves that, 'cause he loves the stage.
So I'm aiding him in what he's wanting,
and in this guy, I'm aiding him in what he's wanting
'cause he doesn't want the limelight.
He doesn't want the spotlight, so go into it,
match them where they are energy level
and what they're comfortable with,
and that's gonna appeal to more people.
How do you feel about your tone of voice?
If you were going to talk to that first guy,
would you be able to command like my voice right now,
can you command that attention and respect?
Or sometimes, when you talk to people,
do they kind of ignore you or not give you respect
or not even give you attention?
I'd ask that you don't live like that.
That's not a good way to feel, like you never know
if people are gonna give you
that respect and snap to when you talk.
I'll put a link in the description to a free checklist
that you can get where I'm gonna take you
through five different things that you immediately apply
to get that booming, strong tone of voice
that really draws people in and creates
that aura of respect and charisma.
Now this is kind of an easy application, right?
It's an easy field where it's all people
working together, kind of a networking event.
What if you're out on a first date?
If you want me to tell you a story
about when I was out on a first date
and three guys actually tried to clown on me
to make me look bad in front of my date,
I'll put that video right here
and I'll walk you through it now.
If you wanna grab that free checklist,
I'll put that right here so you can download it.
I'll talk to you there.
(jazz music)