"My husband prioritizes
his family over me, his
wife. What can I do about it?"
My name is Paul Friedman, I founded The
Marriage Foundation
and I have seen this problem arise
and I will tell you that it is extremely
rare that it is anything other than what
I'm going to share with you right now.
There are some cultures where it is
usual for a husband
to not leave his family for his wife
but bring his wife into his family.
In some cultures, the wife literally
moves in.
I'm assuming that that's not the case
for you
but even in those situations, even when
there is a little bit of rivalry
between the husband's mother
and the wife. It always boils down to the
same thing.
Now I'm also going to tell you at this
point
that you should subscribe to this
channel and learn a lot about marriage
because that's really what's going on
here.
We don't learn about marriage.
We don't learn about how to please our
husbands.
Husbands don't learn how to please their
wives
and so there's a very high divorce rate
in the western world,
and there would be a really high one in
the eastern world
if it were less frowned upon.
But this particular issue is one that
you can do
something about. You see when a husband
gets married,
he has a subconscious expectation
which is not unrealistic, I might add,
that his wife will give him something
that he only can get from a woman
which is unconditional love. Men are
biologically
not set up to experience unconditional
love
easily. If they want to, it takes a lot
of work on their part because they're
overriding
biological dictates to shut that part of
themselves
off. So it was a
golden opportunity for you
when his mother and by extension, his
father
handed the baton over to you, his wife
to show your husband that your heart
can be open not only for him
but for the whole family. Unfortunately,
the training for women
due to this mythological woman's
liberation movement.
And I say mythological because true
liberation
is not gender-based.
True liberation means that we become
realized that we are souls and you are a
soul.
So your soul think of it as your heart
needs to open up to your husband
and shown to him in every conceivable
way and never undermined
because men are very ego-based. They're
very sensitive.
So if you say something that's going to
hurt his feelings
you might as well hit him with a
two-by-four.
So in short, number one
learn more about marriage so you
understand it so you just don't do what
I tell you to do
but you have an understanding of what to
do
for good practical reasons.
So, what are good practical goals in
marriage?
There's only two. Number one
you want to be happier every day of your
life.
You want your husband to be happier
every day
of his life even more so.
You get married to share your love to
that degree.
Number two, you want to experience
unconditional love
not just occasionally but you want to be
swimming in it the whole time you're
married.
Both of these are achievable in every
single marriage
when you understand how.
Right now, your husband has not
discovered
that you are giving him unconditional
love.
He's not feeling it and he can't
articulate it.
He doesn't know it. I know it
and now you know it. Don't talk to him
about it
it's meaningless instead learn to
express
it. If watching these videos isn't enough,
get one of my books but you can
certainly
turn things around. He's prioritizing his
family
because you're not prioritizing him.
Want to hear it in a nutshell? That's
what it is.
Stop complaining, criticizing, putting him
down
all of these things just pull away from
the foundation of your marriage which is
supposed to be love. Isn't it? Doesn't
that make sense?
And instead, make every action of yours,
every thought, every verbalization
and every physical action filled with
love
and watch what happens. Do it as an
experiment see what happens.
It's not going to shift overnight
but if you do this and you get good at
this
it will shift -- that's an absolute
certainty.
Okay. I hope this was helpful for you.
Leave a comment if you'd like.
We could discuss it in the comments
section
but try this. Blessings to you! Blessings
to your husband
and your family, and his family too!
Your heart is enough to open up to all
not just your husband, your children
but to his family also so do so.
There's no limit to love. All right. God
bless and take care! Thank you!