﻿Are Men Becoming Less Masculine [0:00:00]
So, I received a question the other day that goes like this, “Antonio, are men nowadays less
masculine compared to men in the past? Seriously, everything I see on TV, everything I see in the
movies, everything I see on media seems to be making men out to be idiots. And the men that
are being put up as examples are wearing skinny jeans and makeup. My question is simple. Where
have the real men gone? My hope is I’m just over reacting. Please let me know.” Sincerely, PT.
Thanks, PT. It’s a great question, are men becoming less masculine? The answer, well,
gentlemen, that’s the subject of today’s video. [Music]
So, what’s my opinion? Well, I’m going to share that at the end of this video because,
first, I want to talk about history. What if people throughout time been talking
about changes in masculinity because guess what? They’ve been happening for a while.
Next up, let’s talk about perspective. Where are you coming from? And, finally,
let’s talk about the definition of masculinity. What exactly is it?
So, here’s a quote from a magazine. Let’s see if you can guess the date. “Where is the manly
vigor and athletic appearance of our forefathers? Can these men be their legitimate heirs? Surely,
no race of effeminate, self-admiring, emancipated fribbles could ever have descended
in a direct line from the heroes of past.” Obviously, somebody here is upset with the
less than manly appearance of these young men. So, what do you think 2010? 1990? Maybe 1970?
I bet some of you guys are thinking even further back, a hundred years, 1920s.
Actually, gents, that’s a quote from 1771. It was a letter in Town and Country Magazine
re-published in Paris fashion. And, gents, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. If you
go out there and you do your research, you’re going to see people have been complaining
about other people, about masculinity, about the way they dress since the beginning of time.
Next up, let’s talk about how masculinity is affected by perception and what it means and what
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And now, let’s talk perspective. So, I asked my son this question the other day
and he didn’t think so, but then, again, he is only 17 years old and his view is one that’s
probably much more narrow. He hasn’t lived as long as me, I’m 45 years old. I’m a father,
husband, business owner, military veteran. I have a perception of what masculinity is and
in my definition, it does seem that, yeah, there’s just not as many of what I perceived to be
masculine men around as there used to be. But, for a guy that’s maybe 75, 65,
he may actually disagree with me, he may agree. A lot of these depends on your background, what
is your background, where are you coming from. Now, finally, at this point, I’m getting to the
meat of the video, how do you define masculinity? So, I went to Reddit and
I found a few definitions. FishyTaquitos says, “By definition, anything a man does is manly.”
I’m sorry, FishyTaquitos, but I think that that is a stupid – okay, maybe that’s a harsh
word – lazy response. Seriously, anything a man does is manly? So, I can trip and fall, that’s
manly? I can go out and hurt somebody, I could kill somebody and that would be manly? No. The
definition of manly is not anything a man does. Another definition proposed by BSMProductions was,
“A masculine man is supposed to be the guy that goes and sweeps the woman off her feet,
by taking control and being a fearless leader. He’s supposed to make the first move.”
Now, that’s a definition maybe some of you guys are going to want to agree with, but personally,
I don’t like it. I don’t think a guy has to make the first move, has to sweep a woman off his feet,
has to be a fearless leader. These are maybe in some people’s minds nice traits to have, but I
don’t think they define you as being masculine. [0:04:54]
Now, for my definition, I’m going to go back to about 350 BC. About that time,
there was a guy named Aristotle. You may have heard of him. He defined
masculinity as living a life of eudaimonia. What does that mean? It’s basically translated
as living a life of human flourishing, of excellence, of basically being all that you
can be. I really like that definition. In fact, I created a coin that in a sense is a compass. It’s
got four directions, four areas in my life that I want to work on, I want to constantly improve.
Those areas? Wisdom, curiousity, passion, and strength. And on the back of that coin, I have
my core values – honor, courage, commitment. And a quote that motivates me in those times that,
yes, I’m going through some tough issues. Now, notice how that definition had nothing to do
with comparisons, making a man better than anyone else. It was all about the man looking to become
his best, about seeking self-excellence, about figuring out and finding that diamond
that is within you. Understand that, okay, it’s going to be pressure and heat that’s going to
take me and shape into what I want to become. And I’ve got to give credit to Brett McKay,
he actually shaped a lot of my thinking on this over at the Art of Manliness. And he talks about
how being masculine is not the opposite of being feminine. It’s actually the opposite
of being a child, of being childlike. When you become a man, you leave the ways
of being a child. The child is dependent on others, you know, is selfish. All these things
that we define as being childish, well, you leave that when you become a man.
And a woman can have all the same virtues pretty much that a man has and in fact, to be,
you know, in womanhood, that’s a whole separate thing. But, what we’re talking about here
is not a competition of just saying simply a man, I mean, there is a competition, it’s
you’re competing against yourself and the man you were yesterday. Can you be better than him? Can
you take a small step in the right direction to become the man you know yourself to be?
Now, gents, you know I love to motivate you and I got some coins I love to send your way.
Just let me know down in the comments what does it mean to you to be a man, to be masculine. Why
would you answer this question? Do you think that we are becoming less masculine than years before?
I personally think we are not. I think that there are so many great young men out there that are
embodying what it means to be a man. I do think that the definition and what is normal has shifted
as it always shifts. As one generation replaces the next, we see just uprisings, we see, you know,
one bad idea replaced with another bad idea. Point being is human beings, you know,
we just naturally evolve and change and it’s something that I do not view,
you know, anyone like Harry Styles, I don’t think he’s any less the man. I love the guy’s music.
And you know what? I’m all for the younger generation living and becoming
their best selves. Now, do you agree? Disagree? Let me know down in the comments. And, guys,
again, I’ve got some awesome coins I would love to send them your way.
And if you enjoyed today’s video, do me a favor, smash that like button and let the
YouTube algorithm know, hey, Antonio, you need to make more videos like this and hopefully more
guys who need this video will find it. All right, gents, so what video to watch
next? How about how to always look your best? Seriously, always look good by following the
tips in this video. It’s a good one, guys. And, yeah, it doesn’t matter if it’s 2:00 o’clock
in the morning if it’s 2:00 in the afternoon, you’re going to look good following these tips.
Guys, check out this video, it’s a good one. Yeah, I’ll hold it up here. Yeah, click it,
check it out, it’s a good one. [0:08:09] End of audio